云之笔端

The Quantum Theory of Life

2011-04-03T16:51:00.001+01:00

In Physics, quantum mechanics is a theory that describes the world in atomic scale. It is probabilistic in construction, and claims that everything is non-deterministic with the famous uncertainty principle. To put things more mathematical, this theory uses wavefunction to describe the wave particle duality behaviour of matter and energy. Any wavefunction can be written in terms of a linear combination of basis state, which resides in the Hilbert space. The modulus square of the coefficients give the probability of that state, and they are normalized. When a measurement is made, the eigenvalue of one state will be observed. I shall not go on to the collapse of the wave-function interpretation as they are highly debatable.

Now if we want to define our life, we can think of it in terms of defining a wavefunction, in a very similar way that we define the state of matter. For example, the languages we speak can form a basis state, with the coefficient representing how well we speak that language. In my case, it can be approximated easily as (using Dirac notation for wavefunctions) |Yun> = 1/sqrt(2) |Chinese> + 1/sqrt(2) |English> . However, this is approximation, as I know a few words of Japanese and German, but they definitely don't count as the coefficient would have at least 20 zeros after the decimal point.

Another interesting basis set we can use is the countries we have stayed in. In this highly globalized world, more and more people are born in one place, raised in another, and working or studying in a third country. Maybe for some none of these are their ethnic native country. Quantum theory somehow can sort of model this highly dynamics society.

So what is your wavefunction?

Be strong, Japan

2011-03-19T02:16:00.002Z

The images are shocking. Entire villages are destroyed, totally annihilated from the map. Cars float on water, as if they are toys. The saddest of all are those of the people affected. They have lost everything, maybe some of their loved ones. Their current and future are uncertain.

BUT it is Japan we are talking about here. They are the 3rd largest economy in the world, their buildings are designed to withstand strong Earthquakes, and their people are civilized and prepared for such disasters. If I were to name a country that can recover the quickest from a such a natural catastrophe, it would be Japan without a doubt. The problem is, it is not one, but 3 disasters, that struck almost immediately after the other. The earthquake was strong, but happened offshore, and most buildings were intact. Then there is the tsunami. I don't think any man-made structure can withstand a wave of 10m. And worst of all, all these are followed by the possible nuclear fallout from the power station. The nuclear part of the problem is still a ongoing battle. I wish all the best to the team behind it and you guys are heroes.

There might be some media hype about the radiation level. Rumors are rife that Japanese products are no longer safe, and there have been comparison of this with other nuclear accident. Certainly we cannot dismiss anything to do with a nuclear reaction as a "small thing", but we need to remain in perspective. Risk communication is vital during such crisis to prevent any unnecessary stress and irrational behaviour.

It is a test of unity and resolve. I sincerely hope that everything will be under control soon, and effort to be focused on rebuilding the affected areas, and offer support to the victims. The world is behind you Japan.

It is also very unfortunate that the Pembroke international programme is at this time of the year. The university part of it was cancelled, but the high school one will still go on. It can be a very delicate task to approach them at these time. But I hope they are not too affected by the events back home, and can enjoy their time in Cambridge.

Cambridge Diary XI

2011-03-13T14:13:00.003Z

Pembroke Mile is an annual charity event held by the college. Like the London marathon, it is a day of funfair. Some people compete for the ultimate prize, while most others just turn up in fancy dresses and attempt to finish the race. Distance wise it is not particular challenging, but coming up with a good costume takes quite some preparation, and winning is not easy.

Matt suggested to me this crazy idea of completing the race as wheelbarrow. It sounded really ridiculous. There is no way that as a pair we can do that for a mile, so I turned it down. He then somehow persuaded Mark to do it with him, and started practicing on Saturday morning. They soon figured out it was quite difficult and instead of quitting, they asked me again if we can do it in the group of 3. I went down to try with them, and it wasn't THAT bad, and we sort of figured out some good ways of holding the crawling person. It was quite embarrassing as we inevitably drew some attention from some friends and a lot of tourists who were in college at that time. They really had a good laugh and definitely thought we were nuts. Even the Master saw us, and seemed unconvinced. At that point, we were not totally sure if it was all worthwhile. Naturally we thought of asking people for donation to our cause, which is a rather common thing here in the UK. That was the last persuasion needed, and I was on the team.

Matt put up some suggestive posters around the college. He also physically "pressured" quite a lot of friends to sign up. By the end of the day, we have around 100 pounds worth of pledges, which was pretty impressive for just one day of fund raising. He had done a really good job.

Then came the impossible task of completing the race itself. We started off really slowly, and had to stop much more frequently then we thought we would. The gloves we bought was torn well before the first 300 meters. However, there were some really supportive people with us and they encouraged us and cheered us along. We were really grateful for their support. We also tried different ways of doing it and just took a small distance at a time, and kept on rotating. My arms were hurting really badly almost right from the start, and I didn't know how I managed to continue to be able to doing all the carrying and crawling. A lot of people and small kids were literally laughing at us. The most difficult part of was the not the crawling but the carrying as there is no natural place to hold on to. I am also the weakest among the team and had to reply quite heavily on Matt and Mark, and somehow by sheer determination, craziness, the tolerance of pain and the thought of all the support we have received, we made it back to the College Hall to be received with applauses. And the free brunch was just awesome!

I would really like to thank everyone who has donated, and encouraged us. To be honest we looked really stupid, but I think it was worth it.

I'm off to collect my bike in the pitch now.

Cambridge Diary X

2011-02-15T01:19:00.000Z

Nothing very interesting is happening in my life. Except I am having a Shadow for these few days, who is following to lectures and practicals. She has been to Cambridge before so things are not new to her. Think she was quite terrified by the 4 hours of lectures and 4 hours of practicals I had on Monday. Oh well. I am terrified myself.

There are some changes to people around me. A few of them got attached, and a few of them are not having too good a health. Wish them the best in everything.

Week 4 is coming to an end. I have now almost completed half of my undergraduate educations. These are the best years I am having, and so sad that days are kind of numbered now.

《劝学篇》

2011-01-30T18:50:00.000Z

小时候总觉得自己很聪明，算数比班上大部分人都好；一起玩耍的同龄小孩中，象棋我从来没输过，一段时间甚至忘乎所以，以“天才”自称。年十三到了新加坡，令我出乎意料。英语听不懂，课跟不上，与同学无法交流。受了这打击后发奋图强，两年后情况大有好转，不过又开始得意忘形。东林并不是什么顶尖学校，虽然认识到了这个问题，但觉得也不太碍事。升学时出了很多状况，可以说是第二次打击，但这次不太一样。国初里多才多艺的人不在少数，我这井底之蛙突然感到十分无用，为什么别人能这么有效的利用他们的时间？我尽力弥补前几年的无所事事，效果终究有限。到了剑桥，这种自卑心理得到了另一种的升华。我可以说是虚度了二十多年的光阴，一无所成，能力有限是一方面，对事情认识的不够清楚是更大的障碍。

荀子的《劝学篇》有一句话是这么说的

"故不登高山，不知天之高也；不临深谿，不知地之厚也；不闻先王之遗言，不知学问之大也。"

每个人的经历都不同，有时候可能一辈子也没出过自己的村庄，但是却有“秀才不出门尽知天下事”的本领。原因在于他们对事情的好奇与关注，加上对世事和道理的认识，从接触的人中就能得到所有知识。反观现在信息科技这么发达，人们反而什么都不知道了。

每本书都有它的局限性。《劝学篇》鼓励人么好好读书，但在这个时代“万般皆下品，唯有读书高”这种观念已被淘汰。但我们可以从全方面发展的角度来理解它的含义，取得“青。取之于蓝，而青于蓝。”的效果。

The Hungarian bit

2011-01-16T19:18:00.000Z

Now the Hungarian bit of the story.

I went to Budapest to visit a friend. He is the legendary and elusive Mate. I have him as supervision partner this year for all 3 of my supervisions. Other than making me look incredibly stupid during supervision, he is a very nice person. Very quiet, but great to talk to and very enthusiastic about Physics.

He has kindly agreed to let me stayed in his house, and also offered to pick me up from Keleti train station. However, there was a small drama before we met. I was sleeping during most the train ride. Subconsciously I knew I need to be alert and not miss my stop. So when I suddenly heard Budapest something, I just grabbed my bag and alighted. The place look surprisingly run-down. Mindless graffiti and wall posters are very not European like. Is Budapest so different from Vienna even though they are just two and half hours apart? After wandering about for a while, and not seeing a sign of him, I finally came to realize I'm at the wrong stop. It was Budapest Kelenfold. Oh what a start! Luckily I met a kind soul who spoke perfect English, and he told me the directions to Keleti by other public transport. Finally after 2 more transfers and an hour late, I arrived at Keleti to be warmly received by Mate.

I was first brought to his house. He lives in what looks like a suburb area. It is very peaceful and quiet, and very beautiful with all the snows. His mum was in to receive us. However, she doesn't speak much English, so the initial meeting was kind of awkward. Mate then showed me around the house and my room. It was not a very big place, but very cosy. His room is full of the medals and certificates he won in high school, and there are seriously loads of them. His brother and sister are living upstairs, and strangely they had a kitchen to themselves! As this is the case, I hardly saw two of them during my stay. We then had lunch prepared by her mum, and after a short rest, and went out.

Mate has to be the best tour guide in many ways. He knows the place at the tip of his fingertips. The history, the story and how in some ways he is connected to them. Throughout the 4 days, he showed vast knowledge of Budapest. Honestly, if I am supposed to do it, the only city I can possibly do a half decent job is Cambridge. I seem to have lost touch with Singapore, Shanghai, and my hometown. If there are any serious connection to begin with. Haiz this has set me to some pondering.

After a brief tour of city centre and then Margaret Island, we went back to home early. His mum was preparing a very Hungarian dinner for us. It was some sort of beef stew and was absolutely delicious. This has to be the first time I have eaten in a traditional meal in an European family. We played lots of puzzle and games after dinner. I have never seen so many of them in my life. They were intellectually challenging and interesting.

The rest of the days were pretty similar. There was touring the city with Mate's extraordinary explanations and the quiet evenings of puzzles. I have learned a huge amount about Hungarian history and random facts. It was also a very culturally enriching trip. Very grateful for Mate's family for hosting me and it was a very special trip.

BBC featured a similiar random walk on Wikipedia

2011-01-14T13:08:00.000Z

BBC featured a similar random walk on Wikipedia. It is definitely more sophisticated.

The article is called Lost in Wikipedia. It is part of a series of programme to celebrate Wikipedia's 10th anniversary.

Tour of Austria-Hungary Empire

2011-01-12T22:55:00.002Z

Disclaimer: The union of the Austrian Empire and the Kingdom of Hungary back in the 19th century created a united land that spawned a big part of Central Europe. I have not, in this short month, travelled even a fraction of that. I just thought it is a cool name and was not meant to be misleading in any way.

I first landed in Vienna on... I think the 7th December. I can't remember the exact date, but I knew I stayed back after term ended to finish up that bloody report. Had a complicated room arrangement and then went to Zhengjie's place for a night in London. Anyway the reason for me being in Wien is that my uncle is here for a post-doc position, and I am here to see him, have a holiday and save some rent.

Vienna at first reminded me of Lyon. I think continental Europe has similar architecture. It is peaceful, and I could not understand anything just like in Lyon. Before I could begin to explore the city, I tracked the progress of "The Great, Greater and the Greatest" (ie the 3 greats) on Facebook. They happened to be travelling in the region and I met up with them for a day to tour the Schonbrunn palace. It was the first major tourist attraction I went. Other than all the fun and talking the most memorable part was the cold. It was really very cold with temperature around -10 degrees. As it was a Sunday, which has a special significance in Austria. After labouring very hard to locate the restaurant "The Great" was interested, it was closed, just like all the other shops. Luck for us, there was a Vietnamese restaurant open for business nearby. It was such a relief to be indoors. We went in and "Greater" used his Cantonese to help us order food. It was very hilarious in that moment as we were trying to find out exactly what we were getting. It was a super long lunch. When we were done with the main course, we ordered dessert, and then another round of dessert by the "The Greatest". We well achieved our purpose of defrosting and filling our stomach before we left.

Oh well that was a nice day. But for quite a number of days I followed my uncle to Technische Universitat Wien to study. My first few days were embroiled in the bitter struggle to finish the Math Computer Assignment. After that it was the math example sheet, and optics. I was quite alarmed by the amount of things I did not understand in term time. Even now I still have loads of overdue work and a significant chunk of the syllabus to revise. Anyway I became quite familiar of the place after a while. The buildings and facilities are very new, and it is located in the city centre. I got to know one or two persons. I also attended a Masters student's graduate party, and then a Christmas party of the department. It was not easy to talk to anybody as it was firstly very weird and also they speak German. Feuerzangenbowle was the main thing I remembered, as well as a very delicious beef stew.

Another noteworthy thing is the underground system. There are no gantries, so everybody just walk in and out freely. There's a ticketing system but from the look of it much self-discipline is needed. There are people conducting random check though, and I was checked on Christmas day itself. That day I went to the central cemetery Zentralfriedhof. The graves of Mozart, Beethoven, Schubert, Strauss, Brahms and most importantly Boltzmann are there. It was kind of like making a physicist's pilgrimage to visit Botzmann's resting place. It took me quite while to find but I think it was worth it. Luckily I had my tickets.

Vienna's beauty are undeniable. The city centre is full of palace, church, museum, theatre and other places that are just pleasant to look at. The city layout is awesome and everything just seem to fit with each other. The transition of modern and medieval is smooth, especially with the old fashioned tram and subway going around. It was like a old photo with most of it frozen in time and some parts slowly developing using modern technology. With the Danube flowing through it, it is perfect.

However it is such a pity that the cold spell has to arrive so early. From the first day until the end of 2010 I never saw wien without a significant amount of snow. I love snow as it makes everything look so ever pure and angelic. But the love so often are in contention with the welfare of my ears, hands and feet. So I ended up spending a significant amount of time indoors talking with my uncle and aunt. As a (extended) family tradition, the topics is always on China and the academia. It often extends to human nature. Sometimes I wonder why nobody in my family ever studied social science? We could have potentially write many thesis on contemporary Chinese culture and politics from such talks alone. It was great discussing these issues with them, as it made me more aware of how things are done in China, and its various issues.

And of course there are my two lovely cousins. I don't know many adjectives to describe them but they are just adorable. Lele is very eloquent and curious. He always takes his own time to do things though, and doesn't eat much during meal time. This, coupled with his whys can really drive me "mad". He loves Thomas and makes me watch it with him. The one achievement I have over this holiday is that I can recognize most of the tank engines in the series now, having watched none of it previously. I also read stories to him and he likes me to brush teeth together with him. LOL. Songsong is not yet one year old, and he is as chubby as my brother when he was Songsong's age. He has changed significantly during this month, now always be to stand up. There are so many things to say about kids of his age as they are always curious but can't talk.

Overall it has been a great experience coming to Vienna. Very sad to be leaving now. I shall talk about the Hungary bit next time, as this blog post is already quite long.

Maybe I look like an illegal immigrant

2011-01-11T20:42:00.001Z

I will start the year with a not so auspicious topic. The reason was that I was stopped for check by the police in Austria randomly after coming back from my trip to Budapest. It suddenly sprang to my mind that similar things have happened many times before. So maybe I do look like an illegal immigrant.

The story begins after I alighted from the OBB train at Bahnhof Wien Meidling. I was walking briskly from the train station to transfer to the Underground. Just as I was about to enter the U-Bahn station/leave the train station, a man suddenly stopped me. He said he's a policeman and showed me his badge. I was taken by surprise, as he was wearing plain cloth and I kind of saw him from far as I was walking. To my bigger surprise there were three other policemen around and one of them was carrying a laptop. He demanded to see my passport, and I hurriedly took it out from my bag and gave it to him. The four of them talked among themselves for a bit as they took down some of my details on the laptop. The only word I could make out was "Singapore", or its German equivalent. Then he asked me if I speak Deutsche or English, if I was a tourist and how long I would be here for. After receiving what must be satisfactory answer he let me go.

That was the entire episode of the story.

Similar things happened when I was in UK. It was at Stansted airport. A policeman stopped me and asked to search my bag. That was quite extreme to be honest. As I was taking my things out he asked me how much cash I was bringing. Then he asked to see my passport as well, and finally let me off without seeing the entire content of my bag. Illegal immigrant + smuggler.

The third time was in Japan, back in 2009. My uncle's family and I went to Tokyo and we were transferring between subway lines. They were all walking in front of me, and then out of nowhere two policemen stopped me. Before I could understand what they wanted, my uncle, aunt and cousin sort of turned back to see what happened. They then just left me off almost straightaway. My guess was that I can't be too bad with a family with a kid.

I could blame it on bad luck, but without a doubt it has a lot to do with my face. I have been to a few countries (other than China and Singapore), but the ones I wandered around freely were just Austria, France, UK, Japan and Ireland. So I have a 60% chance of being checked randomly, pretty high. Maybe I need to start shaving or have a plastic surgery.

《大学》

2010-12-24T17:43:00.004Z

无意中在六大的实验室里翻到了一本关于《大学》的少儿入门书籍，里面有一句话是这么说的。

“知止而后有定，定而后能静，静而后能安，安而后能虑，虑而后能得。”

这句话立刻与我产生了共鸣。不得不承认老祖先们对人生的哲理有了相当系统和深入的理解，几句话就把我昨天想说的东西给包罗概括进去了。人不静下来怎能有所得？如果我们的大脑退化到不能集中精神，何谈虑？

我们这些现代人没有去学习这丰富的宝藏，反而整天追求着无数虚假的东西，同时抱怨着生活多么不美满。就算自己没能力禅悟人生之道，听听这些大思想家的见解应该让我对种种事情有更清楚的认识。

《大学》又曰：“古之欲明明德于天下者，先治其国；欲治其国者，先齐其家；欲齐其家者，先修其身；欲修其身者，先正其心；欲正其心者，先诚其意；欲诚其意者，先致其知，致知在格物。”

要没有知识的话，是会被淘汰的。

Wandering of the Mind

2010-12-23T20:52:00.001Z

Consider a walk on the Internet.

I went on Wikipedia to look for information on Fresnel half-period zones. It turned out that the page on Fresnel zone is about something completely different. Clicked on "near field" in the See Also section to see what it is about. I was overwhelmed with wordy descriptions. Scrolling down I started reading the "Analysis" section as the paragraph begins with the words "Maxwell's equation". I stumbled upon "Bessel's function", which was mentioned in my notes but not explained. Click and it was pages after pages of mathematics. WOW. Didn't bother to understand any of it. But Bessel's functions are first defined by Daniel Bernoulli? Lots of things seem to be related to him. Have to see what other things he has accomplished. His page is definitely the most friendly so far, with many familiar names and concepts. Since I'm doing fluid mechanics next term, why not check out it, as he made important contributions.

I shall end it here. Potentially I can go on and on, just clicking on links that catch a glimpse of my attention. Similar things occur on the BBC website and more dangerously Facebook. I say dangerous as it is interactive, and high tendency to stay on for much longer.

A simple "random walk" like this costs me at least half hour before I even realize I am walking. I will continue walking even after that, as it is so addictive. The feeling to getting a reply with a simple click is just enormous. Ever since English was no longer a barrier, I have been just browsing through pages and pages on the Internet. The amount of information I come across also increased, as I begin to get interested in more and more topics. To cope I begin to skimming through the text faster and faster. It has developed into such a daily routine thing that I think my brain has been wired to just skim through things. It's a daily caffeine dosage that it cannot miss. After receiving training in this area, it seems to have lost its function to stay focused on a single article or topic. Now this is a problem.

I can't seem to focus on a very long article or commentary on the newspaper. I find it very hard to read my lecture handout slowly enough to understand the previous sentence before moving on. In less than 30 minutes into any lecture, my mind will wander away. These are all the signs of restlessness. I cannot foresee this problem going away easily, just like addiction.

Internet has brought the world to the computer screen. Everything is just a click away. However, is it going to make us evolve in the reverse way? Has the brain become too used to accepting answers with a click, that it has slowly lost its function to think and analyze?

走一洼又一洼

2010-12-18T18:13:00.007Z

这是我小时候后爸爸经常给我唱的一首曲子。它可以说是豫剧，也可以说是哄小孩子的摇篮曲。这几天想找出来听听，不过惊奇地发现包罗万象的互联网上竟然没有完整的收录，这文化遗产竟然静悄悄的在我们身边消失！根据我的记忆，和网上收集来的资料，我先大概写下来些，以作收藏。过几天还得请教请教老爸，尝试完整的把它写下来。

更新：跟爸爸通了话，整首曲子都搞到手了。不过有些方言的词汇在汉字里找不到，只能先用拼音代替。

再更新：在网上花了些时间把方言的发音都找到了。大功告成！

走一洼又一洼，洼洼地里好庄稼。
高的是秫秫，低的是棉花，不低不高是芝麻。
芝麻地带大瓜，撤都儿（光肚）小孩去偷瓜。
明光大道他不走，顺着墒沟往里爬。
圪针扎着不老盖（膝盖）, 不敢哭了他呲呲牙。
到那儿大的他抱不动，把那儿小的抱两仨。
抱到那柳荫树底下，他指甲掐锤头打，打开了里面是黑籽红瓤满堂沙。

Cambridge Diary XI

2010-12-15T21:49:00.003Z

As said earlier I'll be talking about being a parent. College and CUMSA parent of course. No matter how you look at it, this is a hugely interesting topic. I'll try to put everything clearly through without mentioning too many names.

I had parents of my own to begin with. CUMSA parents were sources of answer to my queries before I arrived. They also provided great support especially at the start of the term. Still remember the nice good Yongsheng always cooked last year. There were not much family gathering in any sense, and I would primarily attribute it to the dysfunctional family make up.

College families were a bit different. I have a grand total of 5 parents, 1 dad and 4 mums. That's definitely an super-alpha male here. Anyway, they are absolutely amazing people. A good bunch of friends, and are very caring to us. Sometimes I feel sorry for them because we as kids never clicked. One of us was outgoing and had great conversations with them. Another one was cool. Then there was another international student like me. Both of us are very shy to begin with and were by default limited in conversation topics. We tried some form of gathering other than the compulsory first two sessions, but they never worked out great. I still managed to see a great deal of them at Stokes talks, but nothing else interesting happened.

I'm not sure how typical our family was. From talking to other people the some really happening things occur in college families. Some kids seem to get along with their parents really well. There were not enough data to do any serious analysis, but I have to admit I was disappointed. The initial cultural and academic shock have put some irreversible damage to my social interactions. The effects are still reverberating up till now.

Now back to the main point of being a parent. We as the college parents are a group of close friends. Half were from my old CC corridor. And as per norm I have a very big college family, with six parents and five kids. We made sure it is a science only family with only Medic, Natsci, Compsci and Engineers. This was done to prevent possible estrangement in the family, or any split that would occur along the subject line.

We have some of the most amazing kids. They are nice to talk to, and great to mingle with. There are nobody who feel very left out or extremely quiet. First faimly night was great with great conversations. Then there was Much Ado About Nothing. Family formal followed by the Life, which was only the second time I went to clubbing in Cambridge. I have to admit it was rather fun. One of the dad was always busy, but he always provided us with all the outing ideas. The family ended the term in a high when we went to watch The Freshers Pantomine at the ADC. It was a great performance and better still to leave the memory with the family. The kids were so sweat that they bought us wine on that day. But the sad reality is that I'm not the person who can strike a conversation easily, and with the all persistent East-West cultural boundary I'm not very close to any of them. I still feel contented, but will try to do more.

The advantage of a big family is that there is a higher chance to get along with at least one person. The disadvantage is that, it's too big. Yes now i'll talk about the small CUMSA family. I only has one kid, and thus one wife, but at least this time the family had a proper gender ratio. I would have to say that my daughter and her mum are very similiar in many aspects. Both are very outgoing and sociable, and crazy to a certain extent. In fact, the daughter was doing so well in social life that I think she didn't really need a family to help her along. Don't get me wrong, She is very nice person and great to have conversations. But just that didn't "inhereit" much of my genes. The strange thing is that I didn't get to see my CUMSA family that much. Still to have some Singaporeans/Malaysians in college was great.

College family are most active during Michaelmas term. Its function will decay rapidly and approach zero after that. Nonetheless I hope there will be more family gathering, who won't?

Physics or Mathematics?

2010-11-03T19:05:00.007Z

In recent weeks, this thought has been bothering. Have I made the correct decision to study Physics? Or should I have done Mathematics?
Let the story begin in JC. I came across many articles on the development of nano technology. It was a very interesting field with the carbon nanotube and graphene. In addition, fundamental particles were fascinating, and there had been many talks on physics. My inclination was thus pulled towards studying a "Science" subject. Then I graduated and needed to choose something a major. I was pondering between 3 subjects: Mathematics, Physics and Materials Science/ Engineering.
Why I decided against Matierials

When I applied for NUS, I was not decided between Physics and Materials. Mathematics simply wasn't on my mind at that time. In Singapore, science and maths in general are thought to be for those people who can't get into engineering, and are regarded as lower in status. Business was the hot subject in this "realistic and pragmatic" society. But no matter how small the perturbation is, the effect can be huge when applied continuously on a timescale of years.
I went for the open house in NUS, and attended some talks on material science. It immediately put me off as there are so much engineering terms such as Young's modulus, toughness and technology transfer.
I didn't give up Materials totally. I did my pre-departure attachment at IMRE and took Materials Science in Part 1A NST. Both further confirmed that material science is not for me.

The road to Physics

When I applied to Cambridge, I set my mind to do physics. I was greatly influenced by Dax with whom we were working on a small project at that time. Googling "physics + cambridge" directed me straight to the Cavendish website and subsequently the Natural Science Tripos website. Thus I applied for Natural Sciences.
On choosing the colleges I read up quite a good deal on Cambridge. Mathematics Tripos featured prominently, boasting a range of famous scientists and mathematicians. I kind of regretted not applying for it, but then it occurred to me probably it is much harder to get in, and considering admission was all important, I was happy with my choice.
On retrospect, some other factors indirectly pulled me away from Math. I was in SIMO, and never made much progress. This made me realize how difficult math can be and I wasn't really good at it.
My dad, who is a mathematician, was spending a big proportion of his time in China and not with me, so that source of influence was absent.
Was applying for astar, and thought Physics would be more "useful" and easier to get the scholarship.

The discovery of mathematics

The first year physics and mathematics in NST 1A certainly didn't appeal to me. They were tedious and boring. The Mathematics Tripos seemed vastly more interesting.
At this point I realized I could have pursued Physics under the Mathematics Tripos. This was hugely upsetting as clearly my research earlier on wasn't comprehensive enough. I was too obsessed with searching on tips to get admitted rather than going for a thorough research on the courses.
Summer internship at DSI was the biggest eye opener. Mathematics had never occurred to me to be so important. Many of the advanced topics in Physics required many branches of mathematics that were not taught in NST.

The point of my internal struggle has been that I closed the door on Mathematics too early by choosing to study NST. I would have made much better judgment if I have gone through the mathematics Tripos. The situation would also have been easily resolved under the American liberal art education system.
It is too late to do anything. Physics may turn out to be alright, but I would have never known if I was better at pure mathematics. This is very close to what I would be doing anyway had I known better. Physics and Mathematics are not hugely different in irreconcilable ways. It will serve as a huge learning point though.

Cambridge Diary X

2010-10-21T18:55:00.004+01:00

Somehow I only managed to pen 9 entries about my life in Cambridge last year. One year of undergraduate studies in an 800-years-old institution surely worth much more than that.

The workload may be a valid excuses. However, there are plenty of periods that I didn't do anything meaningful. Just sitting there mindlessly browsing the net or wandering from kitchen to toilet and my room.

I didn't upload any photos either. Any person reading this must be really bored. The blog probably stayed too true to its name; just writes. I am just too lazy to upload photos that were already uploaded onto facebook.

So much for the diversion. Anyway this year I'm living in an very old room in D staircase. It has sort of 2 parts: one for sleeping and one is sort of a living room (but no sofa). Size-wise I am very satisfied. It also has a slanted roof, and combined with its old age, can more or less give me some inspirations. Facilities wise it was horrible compared to last year. The gym room is small, toilet doesn't have a sink, and the bathroom literally just has one bath tub. For shower I need to go down all the way to the first floor. Good thing that on the staircase there are Daniel and Yongsheng so things are much easier and more convenient in a lot of ways.

On the work front, Monday, Wednesday and Friday are completely packed. After heeding advices from Dr Keeling and Guanghao I had chosen practicals to be on two separate afternoons. This would allow me the weekend to think through the experiments, but at the same time means traveling to Cavendish twice a week. This journey so far has been quite enjoyable in some sense as Pembroke physicists cycle together there. My supervisors are much better than last year. They know their stuff and are quite easy to talk to. However I need to prepare much more than just the supervision work and I have not been doing that.

Will probably leave it now as my eyes are trying too hard to stay open. Will talk about being a "parent" and other happenings.

Isn't this what you want?

2010-10-18T22:54:00.005+01:00

This has been a hot topic in China for many years. Given its population, total economic power, and rich history, shouldn't at least one Chinese have won the Nobel Prize. Technically there are. Quite a number of ethnic Chinese have won the award, especially in the sciences, but none of them were citizens of the People's Republic of China at the time of award. If we use proportions, 1/5 of the prize should have gone to Chinese. This is clearly not the case as well.
It can be quite an embarrassment to certain people, and some are puzzled. Go to any bookstores in China and you're bound to find books explaining the current situation. Titles such as "we will win the Nobel Prize in a certain number of years sells pretty too. The entire country seems quite obsessed with this. To them, winning Olympic (Olympiad) medals and Nobel prizes are signs of a stronger nation. To me, this is just silly. A country or people's achievement can't be measured using such parameters, not evenly remotely.
Now the irony comes. Liu Xiaobo was awarded the Nobel peace prize! He is a proper Han Chinese (unlike the 14th Dalai Lama) whose citizenship is not disputed. The country should have been immersed in jubilant celebrations marking this historic moment. However, such a heroic achievement to the Chinese people was absent from all news channel in China. People don't hear a thing about this (as was the case with Dalai Lama). This just shows the level of censorship in Mainland. I feel sad for the nation and sad for the people. Clearly the communist party is set to continue its policy on human rights and rule of law. Any attempts to induce changes were met with "you're meddling with my internal affair". The crackdown on such reform-minded people can only increase as it feels more threatened than ever. The change will come someday, one way or another, yet the struggle ahead for Liu and his friends will be long and hard.

对对子

2010-09-26T07:00:00.003+01:00

这几天突发奇想了一个对联，大概是西游记看得多了和古剑奇谭的影响。

银河无际一双情侣桥上会

江湖风云千百豪杰剑下魂

Cambridge Diary IX

2010-06-24T03:24:00.002+01:00

May Week! :)

I have never seen a period of havoc like this before. The motto is “Party and alcohol”. Drunkenness is the new cool and sanity is a taboo. Seeing such things going around myself inevitably pulled me towards such craziness.

No I didn’t get drunk, or do anything stupid. The highest point reached is tipsy. I Played croquet for the first time (not while tipsy). This gentlemen sports is not so gentlemen after all, as we are supposed to sabotage each other. Friendship can be really tested here. There are the meetings with fellow Singaporean friends, some of whom I haven’t seen for such a long time due to my self imposed seclusion.

While “abandoned” by many of my friends who went travelling around the UK, I am “stuck” to find things to entertain myself. There are garden parties, sports and just random fun. Each has its own function during different time of the day. The most fun of them is to play bridge with Paraic, Eunice, Andrew and Lizzie. While bridge is not new to me after playing for 4 to 5 years, it is different when the people change. The lack of seriousness and experience makes each game very hilarious. Such activities dominate my May Week time, other than a short trip to Nottingham and Birmingham. The trip is decent but somehow I missed Cambridge during it, the kind of feeling you get when you miss home.

I wonder what is life for? We study hard and then play hard. We drink, we dance. “Some dance to remember, some dance to forget”. What do I do that for? Have I past that age that you can get truly crazy and let go of all the troubles at once. Or is it my inbuilt character? I just can’t do it.

There was a trip to Gardies with Paraic that would make me remember it. The behavior of that girl was truly disgusting. For a free burger she was willing to exchange herself in such a degrading way. While there was some salvage to my impression with Cambridge University on realizing she was a local, I most likely wont go back there again.

Cambridge Diary VIII

2010-06-19T00:16:00.002+01:00

Can’t think of a single word to describe this month. So much happened that all other months pale in comparison.

First is the all important Tripos. So overwhelming was it that basically I never stepped out of my room except for toilet and food. I deactivated Facebook. While the intention was to get me focused, other distractions such as games and Youtube proved more potent. The revision went alright nevertheless, until the exam started. Between each paper I didn’t do any revision, thinking that last minute study may make me nervous. The end result was that I forgot some basic information that could have helped me scored much more in Chemistry and Materials. Physics and Maths were not affected much. The result would be out on 25th this month, and I hope for the best. And judging by how the exam went, I will definitely be doing Physics and Maths next year.

Just as a reflection, next year I would definitely not lock myself up like this year. Studying together, at least for a few days a week would be really helpful. And studying in the library, as it would make me focused. My thinking just before the exam was right, but I should have taken the opportunity to rest my brain, instead of listening to music and surfing the Internet.

The end of exam was a a sweet moment. Some friends came to cheering for us in front of the entrance at the last day. Suddenly the realization that there are no more exams or supervision to worry about. The academic life as a fresher has ended.

There were so many people celebrating at that day as most of the NatSci finished on that day. Champagnes were popped everywhere and alcohol was downed like water. Although I disapprove alcohol consumption in general, this was perfectly understandable. Get drunk people, you deserved it!

Cambridge Diary VII

2010-05-04T21:31:00.001+01:00

The glorious weather!

Never seen so many sunny days in a row in Cambridge before! People are taking the opportunity to enjoy the sun on the lawn; be it a book, a friend or by oneself. This is certainly the most cheerful time of the year. Went punting again, and this time but this time the feeling is really different. The weather and people makes all the difference. Will play tennis soon, otherwise it is no justice for the hard work the sun has put in.

These few days are not too great though, with temperature dipping into the regions of 5 degrees Celsius. Nevertheless, still expecting more days with the sun out.

I came back to Cambridge before the volcano ash. A few friends were stuck until term has started. I bet if there’s a survey on what people think of each country right now, Iceland will come bottom of the list. I didn’t accomplish even close to a third of what I planned to study during the holiday. Most of the time was spent watching movies, and talking and sleeping.

Now the pressure came and that’s why I fell sick. Sore throat and cough and sneezing. Luckily this time the cold didn’t bring me down to fever. I think this blog will cease to be updated until late June.

Looking at it, the gap between this post and the last was not much shorter. Where did my April go?

Google stops censorship in China

2010-03-23T00:15:00.002Z

While Spring is something to cheer for, as it battles on with coldness and Winter, there is something else going on worth more of our attention.

By now most should know the ongoing saga between Google and the Chinese government. While Google is the champion of freedom with its “Don’t be evil” slogan, it has attracted criticism for complying with the censorship when entering the China market. Things seem to have turn 180 degrees a few weeks ago when Google threatens to pull out of China. It cited a few cyber attacks on the Gmail account of a few Chinese activities (and such attacks in general) as the reason. It also wants to stop complying with the strict censorship the Chinese government imposes.

Now it has just done that! After talks broke down between the two parties, Google seems to have gone for it. www.google.cn would now be directed to www.google.com.hk where there is uncensored search results. Sensitive topics such as the Tiananmen Massacre and Fa Lung Gong are now available as search results. While I’m not sure if people in China are able to access it like I do, this is what I get

The homepage says “欢迎您来到谷歌搜索在中国的新家” or “Welcome to the new home of Google in China”.

I think this is a historic movement. It shows that there are still individuals and organizations willing to stand up for what is right. While how much effect this has on the freedom of speech in China is yet to be seen, I would like to thank Google for taking such a big step. It is hard not to succumb to political pressure and economic gains, and whatever the true intention of Google, it has my full respect.

However, this should not be a moment of triumph, but just a glimpse of hope. The next thing to follow is almost certainly the complete ban of Google in China. The road to freedom and democracy is far and long.

UPDATE: People in China are unable to view any uncensored search results due to the firewall. This has turned out to be a mere symbolic gesture. No real benefit for the netizens.

Spring is here

2010-03-22T23:48:00.001Z

Finally it is here. I can see it in the sprouts, breath it through the warmer air, and feel it under the sun. This year’s winter is a particularly long one. Long spells of coldness has finally been lifted. There is so much to cheer for. No longer there’s a need to stay in my room as if I’m hibernating, or hiding from something. No need to be moody and complain about the weather.

When I just arrived in Ireland, all I can hear and see is crow. It is quite depressing considering how Chinese associate bad luck with this bird. Now there’s chirping and sighting of other birds, and although I can’t name many of them, it lifts my spirit, as I walk on the road. The patches of dying grass along the road are now greening. They show sign of life and brings hope to me. While I utterly hate the sun in tropical Singapore, it is now definitely my favorite astronomical object.

Carlow is beautiful town. It does not have many historical buildings, or monuments of great significance. But it is a true country side. The houses are low, and far apart. There are big openness, and hills in the not so far distance. Sometimes they are hidden by the fog, while sometimes so clearly observed that I can see the cars moving on it. The place has the full potential of being fully transformed by Spring, and I am really looking forward to seeing it in the next week days and weeks.

Cambridge Diary VI

2010-03-12T01:26:00.002Z

Lent term is over. It’s not over for me until after the 2 supervisions tomorrow. I will be packing and leaving this lovely town. It is definitely time to give a short hiatus to this mad pace. The feeling this time is a little bit different. Last term seems to have been forever, with all the excitement of new environment and friends. Then after the Christmas holiday, things just whoosh pass, and now here I am again for another holiday.

Oh well it will definitely not be a normal holiday. There are just so much to study and revise. I was barely afloat at the start of the term, and when the waves started coming in week 4 or 5 I was drowned immediately. Some people find it really easy though. Maybe they don’t find it “easy”, but they can juggle rowing, partying and study at the same time, when one of them would have easily killed me. If you are not smart enough, but pretend to be so by being in a good school, you know what I mean.

Enough said about how hard life is. Just want to give a brief summary the term. I had poorer time management. Did less work, and in the meantime socialized less as well. No idea where the time has gone too. I used to pace my work, so that I do not need to cram too much in one night. For this term, the situation is like this. The deadline is the next day, and I had not even started on a single question yet.

I will stop thinking about all these now and start packing.

Laws of the society

2010-02-27T02:10:00.002Z

There are three laws governing our society.

In our society, the only constant is change. (By Heraclitus)
The direction of the change is determined by the third law.
The winner takes it all.

社会三大定律

我们的社会在不断的转变。
第三条定律决定转变的方向。
胜者为王，败者为寇。

雪

2010-02-22T01:14:00.000Z

当它漫天下起来的时候，你童年的回忆是否也随之涌入，占据了你整个大脑？你是不是想张开双臂，来拥抱大自然的赏赐？这种回忆或激情应该能令不少诗人和作家们为雪写下不朽诗篇。可相比之下，关于雪景的诗句只是聊聊无几。人们似乎更关心春的萌芽，夏的欢乐，或秋的丰收。雪，于寒冷的冬天联系起来，似乎得不到同样的重视。就在当今发达社会，它的降临意味着“机场关闭”，“公路堵塞”，“某某地冻死了几个人”。这些负面报道就算没把“死神”的帽子给它扣上，瘟神是绰绰有余了。

白色代表纯洁。这种品质在世上可谓稀有，人们会用千万两黄金来换取，但大自然却无私的奉献了这么多。它洗涤了空中的浊气，掩盖了一切肮脏，汇入了河流，浇灌了田野。仔细想一想，我们个个都负债累累，但我们拿聪明和智慧来回报了吗？

都说看景不如听景，听雪可是远远不如看雪，再好的描写或照片只不过是盲人摸象。雪自身可成一景。任何不值一提的事物被雪光顾了后，好像是被马良的神笔碰过一样，突然活了起来。打雪仗，堆雪人，这些与雪的互动不乏乐趣。欣赏雪花飘落时的优雅，估计树上、屋顶上的积雪的厚度，这么无聊的事情，都变得那么有魅力。

这次欧洲大陆的雪是我记忆以来最大的一场。漫天漫地，都是苍茫的白，走到哪里都有的嘎吱嘎吱的声音。我突然又这么爱雪，爱它的一切。

瑞雪兆丰年。祝大家新年万事如意。

Cambridge Diary V

2010-02-07T10:44:00.001Z

There's a big Singaporean community in Cambridge. I'm not sure if its such a good thing though. Definitely it provides the feeling of home, and people to talk about topics I'd never be able to carry out with the locals. They are the best friends, to discuss homework, or rely upon when in need. On the contrast, do they in the process of making my life easier, have defeated the whole purpose of an overseas education?

On proposing this question, I am by no means alienating myself from them. This is just a discussion that has been going on in my mind for a long time. Firstly let's lay out the facts. CUMSA is a wonderful organization. Even before stepping foot on the foreign soil, it has made sure that we have made enough friends through meetings in Singapore. This has been especially helpful for a person like me who comes from a not so common school and college (cough cough). The broadened spectrum of friends enabled me to settle down very easily in the first few weeks. There's always a friendly person to approach with questions such as “where is the supermarket?” to “the cheapest Chinese restaurant in town”. The transition most Singaporean has, I believe, is smoother than lots of other international students, who face two obstacles: language and lack of friends.

Even after the initial period, they have never stopped being part my life. Formal swaps, cookout and endless other activities fill my calendar. All these seem wonderful, but don't they in the meantime alienate myself from the real college life? How many times have I taken the initiative to go to the JP to meet strangers? Not many that I can recall. Certainly it has lots to do with my personality, and there's always the cultural difference. But the common mentality is that if I already have a group of wonderful friends, why bother making more, especially other things such as work occupy a great deal of my time already. There's a Chinese saying that goes “if a person wants be extraordinary, he/she has to undergo extraordinary hardship”. (The translation is not great.) While it looks like I have had an easy life so far here, that I am not inclined to take the great leap forward.

I may be taking the argument in a screwed way, with the following analogy. A wartime general or president has led the country through the most difficult times in its history. He battled against all odds to ensure the country survived to see the end of war. His achievement is remarkable and undeniable. Does this necessarily guarantee that he should be the leader for the country after the war? Many historic evidence gives the answer no (or well, it depends).

If ever you think that the Singaporean community is a “shackle” now to my “pursuit of freedom”, you are definitely mistaken. Experience in an overseas life is precious. We shall explore and meet new friends while it is still possible.

Lyon

2010-01-03T23:32:00.001Z

Have been in this beautiful city for about a month now. The big surprise is that I have not been to many places here. A half day tour would probably bring to a person more places of interest or UNESCO sites. Doesn’t sound like the perfect holiday plan, but that’s how it is.

It was great to be able to be around parents, especially in this far away land. They are not the terribly exciting people; my lack of activity was in large part due to them. Passively and actively they have been persuading me to put off plans to Paris. Although there was some short trips around Part-Dieu and Universite Claude Bernard Lyon 1, the rest of the city has eluded me. However the home cooked never failed to satisfy my appetite and the after dinner talk was still as good as before.

Not able to speak French is such a inconvenience. I feel really bad that I can’t respond in a proper manner to people’s greeting. There was the problem communicating with the people in the Prefecture or searching the websites. Therefore sometimes I wonder why people choose to travel to places where they can’t understand the language. They will miss so much of the culture.

For me, the main part of my life was playing with my brother. Whether or not this is a fortunate thing is debatable. He is adorable and loves to play with me. By saying “play” I mean it strictly in a 4-year-old definition. Just hopping around or driving imaginary buses around the room. Otherwise it would be wrestling or looking at videos and photos. His boundless energy just never seems to cease. His curiosity never dies away. His playfulness irritates me no matter how calm or reasonable I want to be. As a result, 18 years of age gap cannot prevent us fighting as if we are fighting for toys.

He can surprise me with the most unexpected phrases, or how well he can respond to certain instructions or how good his memory can be at times. Most of the time he is just like a normal kid---easy to fool by small distraction. Seeing him playing in the snow and walking him along river Rhone are fun.

Talking about Rhone, it is a a beautiful river flowing past the centre of Lyon. Around it are the old districts, with buildings and churches with quite some age, although I guess nothing compared to Cambridge. Contrary to terraced house seen in UK, most people live in apartments here, which is something I don’t understand. There’s a also a nice park which in weekends will see a huge crowds with parents accompanying their children to do various activities.

It is also common to see people jogging and there are also lots of public bicycles around. I never figured out the policy behind such bicycles. And it seems time is running out for me to do it.

再别康桥

2009-12-07T12:53:00.002Z

马蹄踏过石板街道
窄巷深处有人祷告
雨后水洼教堂倾倒
意识流的四十度角

图书馆前站着半座石雕
六个便士带走一副素描
壁炉终日孤独吐着火苗
煤油灯下岁月不被惊扰

你在剑桥一身寂寞穿黑色学袍
你用诗句歌唱爱情押美丽韵脚
一船星辉见证那个古典的拥抱
那片水草还在怀念你撑的长蒿

你在剑桥半生寂寞穿中国长袍
你用诗句告别爱情押绝望韵脚
谁的衣袖带走那片云彩的来到
离别笙萧那样沉默像一种凭吊

红砖墙壁紫藤缠绕
垂柳摇醒两岸拂晓
怀旧风琴失传民谣
中世纪就开始苍老

广场鸽子仰望天空思考
歌特尖塔勾勒末世线条
故事流过落日的叹息桥
诗人的爱还在唱咏叹调

你在剑桥一身寂寞穿黑色学袍
你用诗句歌唱爱情押美丽韵脚
一船星辉见证那个古典的拥抱
那片水草还在怀念你撑的长蒿

你在剑桥半生寂寞穿中国长袍
你用诗句告别爱情押绝望韵脚
谁的衣袖带走那片云彩的来到
离别笙萧那样沉默像一种凭吊

你在剑桥一身寂寞穿黑色学袍
你用诗句歌唱爱情押美丽韵脚
一船星辉见证那个古典的拥抱
那片水草还在怀念你撑的长蒿

你在剑桥半生寂寞穿中国长袍
你用诗句告别爱情押绝望韵脚
谁的衣袖带走那片云彩的来到
离别笙萧那样沉默像一种凭吊

再别康桥（转载）

2009-12-06T08:15:00.001Z

徐志摩

轻轻的我走了，
正如我轻轻的来；
我轻轻的招手，
作别西天的云彩。
那河畔的金柳，
是夕阳中的新娘，
波光里的艳影，
在我的心头荡漾。
软泥上的青荇，
油油的在水底招摇；
在康河的柔波里，
我甘心做一条水草!
那榆阴下的一潭，
不是清泉，是天上虹；
揉碎在浮藻间，
沉淀着彩虹似的梦。
寻梦？撑一支长篙，
向青草更青处漫溯，
满载一船星辉，
在星辉斑斓里放歌。
但我不能放歌,
悄悄是别离的笙箫；
夏虫也为我沉默，
沉默是今晚的康桥！
悄悄的我走了，
正如我悄悄的来；
我挥一挥衣袖，
不带走一片云彩。
正如我轻轻的来；
我轻轻的招手，
作别西天的云彩。
那河畔的金柳，
是夕阳中的新娘，
波光里的艳影，
在我的心头荡漾。
软泥上的青荇，
油油的在水底招摇；
在康河的柔波里，
我甘心做一条水草!
那榆阴下的一潭，
不是清泉，是天上虹；
揉碎在浮藻间，
沉淀着彩虹似的梦。
寻梦？撑一支长篙，
向青草更青处漫溯，
满载一船星辉，
在星辉斑斓里放歌。
但我不能放歌,
悄悄是别离的笙箫；
夏虫也为我沉默，
沉默是今晚的康桥！
悄悄的我走了，
正如我悄悄的来；
我挥一挥衣袖，
不带走一片云彩。

Cambridge Diary IV

2009-11-26T00:09:00.000Z

Now the true reason for not updating the blog. It is WORK! As a Natsci, there are 12 lectures (14 for the last 3 weeks), 4 supervisions and 3 sessions of practical in a week. These add up to more than 25 hours. Doesn’t sound a lot? Of course because they do not take into account the amount of time I take to understand the lecture notes, read up textbooks and doing the supervision questions. Worst of all I have Saturday lectures! That basically ruins half of my weekend and I only get 1 night of decent sleep. Definition of decent sleep: sleep until I am awake.

That is not the whole story. As all Natsci have to take 4 subjects in the first year, I was undecided between Materials and Compsci. Months at IMRE did not give me any motivation for Materials, but I have not done any programming before. As the decision time came, I just thought about giving Compsci a try. It turned out to be a disastrous decision. The lectures made sense, notes are not hard to understand, the first two practicals are deceivingly simple. BUT, it’s a big but here. I have no idea how to do the questions. Not even the faintest idea. And there is the scary logic part. If something then one thing otherwise something else. As you can see, clearly my logic is not there. If this is not worrying enough, there is another even more worrying fact. Almost everyone taking Compsci has prior programming knowledge. Lots of people say it doesn’t matter but I seriously doubt so. Using my weakness against others’ strength is no joke, especially smart people. I could still have gone for it. But remember there is Astar sitting on top of everything.

My decision was to switch. That included arranging meeting with my DoS and persuading him. This thing really stressed me for about 1 week, as he thought I was making a rash decision. In the end after my switch was final, I was left in another mess. I am two weeks behind the materials work. Just like a peddle dropped into the water, this event has far reaching effect on other subjects and I was doing catching up for another 1 to 2 weeks.

Now that the term is ending, I am positive that the switch is a good decision. I am learning interesting topics just as magnetism and x-ray diffraction. To be honest, I don’t understand quite a lot still, but just like other subjects, I will be spending a good proportion of holiday revising and consolidating. A good holiday plan?

Cambridge Diary III

2009-11-25T23:20:00.000Z

What is the social life like in Cambridge? One word to describe them all---“booze”. Probably it explains a bit why I was not updating regularly. (No I will touch on the true reason maybe in the next entry).

Pub crawl is the first heavy drinking game that I participated in the Freshers’ Week. As the name suggests, we just go to pubs after pubs on the same night. Drinking games are played and most of them involved “downing” your drink. It is scary in many different ways. Firstly I am shocked at the sheer volume and the need to finish it pretty much in one breath. Also the shock increased exponentially when I saw how effortlessly the others can do it. It seems I’m in a fictional land where the God of alcohol has come alive. Anyway back to reality. I had to settle for coke and plain water half of the time, just to stay sane. As we progressed, more people had gotten drunk, and they just started doing strange things like cramming into the phone booth and climbing lamp post. Seriously I think it is not fun either as a by stander or the main “protagonist”.

Then there’s drinking in everyday life. Party is taking place at a friend’s room, and everyone is enjoying themselves with alcohol. There are also various drinking games such as ring of fire, that can be played perfectly fine without any booze but somehow have to involve them. No alcohol equals no fun. However, there is an absolutely a personal choice whether to drink or not.

The most famous part of drinking in Cambridge has to be “pennying”. Wikipedia actually has an entry on it. The rules may not make much sense, but it can be summarized in a few sentences. In a formal hall or drinking game, if a penny is dropped into a glass of drink, the owner has to down the glass to “save the queen”. She is drowning! Other rules such as back penny, double penny or catching the penny in the teeth are just additional clauses to prevent mayhem. Just like the architecture and gowns and formals, this game is a hallmark of Cambridge. It is somewhat banned in my college formals but nobody really cares. It really got me really giddy a few times, and I have definitely consumed more alcohol within the first few weeks here than my entire life.

About Natsci

2009-11-02T14:24:00.004Z

Chemistry has been fascinating;

Materials and Mineral Science interesting and overloaded with information;

Mathematics difficult and boring;

Physics uninspiring.

Cambridge Diary II

2009-10-10T19:14:00.001+01:00

I announce that I am now a member of Pembroke College, for life. That's according to the Master at least.

There is no point talking about undergraduate studies in Cambridge without mentioning my college. Most people I guess would end up feeling much more attached to their colleges than the university itself. The strength of the education is amplified here. The forging of bonds can take place easily here within the small community. Knowledge are passed down in the unique fashion of supervision. Of course what everyone makes out of these varies greatly, but the platform is there for everyone.

The architecture in Pembroke is breathtaking. It doesn't have the grandeur of King's or the enormity of St John's. But the layout makes me feel like home, as compared to living in a vast castle, which would be intimidating. Gardens are neat, and the lawn on the courts on so neatly maintained that not even a stray leaf can be found. The bright colours of green and red are especially soothing to see in autumn. The age of the college also give rises the other “abnormality”.Most of the staircases would crack and crick when I walk on them, and there are portraits of Masters hanging on the walls in the Hall. And I get to hear jokes about C and rumours of other colleges.

The culture here is strange. I bet J K Rowling borrowed heavily from Oxbridge when writing Harry Potter. Gown must be worn during matriculation, and everyone has to pen their names on this giant book that looks like it's centuries old. The pen was also of old style. I was so lucky to write my name in both English and Chinese. And the matriculation photograph looks almost like graduation photograph in some sense, as we were all wearing gowns as well. The formal hall is also very unique, with bells ringing to signal the entrance of the Master, and followed by some words in Latin, before anything is served. In the middle of the meal the same thing would happen again if he wants to leave or make a speech. People may call those “quirks”. But to me, these people are just purely jealous.

Description is incomplete without pictures. Please go the Facebook and see the pictures I have taken. They are not great, but will give a rough idea of what a college is like.

Cambridge Diary I

2009-10-07T19:54:00.000+01:00

Despite the title, it has to start with Singapore. After years of not so pleasant tropical heat, I am going to a place with an even worse reputation in terms of weather. The smog is so bad that the Chinese translate of “Oliver Twist” is 雾都孤儿, which means “orphan in a city of smog”. Actually I don't believe in all these. My 9 months stay in Brighton ten years ago convinced me. It might just be London, or not even London nowadays.

Many people would disagree with me, but I still have to say nonetheless. Weather would not be an obstacle if you want to achieve something. The years of humidity and thunderstorm have made me a tougher and more independent person. It has nurtured me, to appreciate things you have instead of chasing dreams that are never going to come true. On the island that is shaped like a boat, I have chartered a journey with my youth. And somehow ironically I'm sailing away, literally.

I would really like to thank everybody whom I have crossed path with. I may not look like a friendly person, but I am really inside. I may have offended you and have not apologized you, please tell me if you are among them, as seriously I am really bad with such things. There are may be so many other occasions that friction would have occurred, but there seems so little time to amend or repair.

To those people who have come to send me off, I would like to say a big thank you. You have helped me to go the next phase of my life with a lot of confidence. There is still a place for me if I fail or fall back. I am undeterred by the challenges, especially with so much support.

almost time

2009-09-21T17:16:00.002+01:00

No matter how hard I try to avoid talking about it, it will somehow surface during a conversation. That is I'm flying on the 30th. To UK.

The problem with it is that it's for a good one year. Suddenly you realize you need to meet up with so many people but haven't. The clock is ticking away. Then all the math, chem and physics are all still unrevised. Now I think that ending work early is a wise choice, otherwise I would leave much more regrets.

The only group of people that I haven't got a plan for is my JC classmates. I really want to meet up with them, but you know everyone is "once bitten twice shy", and after so many unsuccessful class outing we had, all the motivation are gone. Hopefully I'll do something by today and meet up at least with some of them on Sun. That is if they bother to turn up.

And ya if you want to see me again for the last time this year, or just got nothing to do, just drop me a message. Pretty free except in the evening.

Is it time to bring my luggage out and start throwing things in? Haiz seriously I'm quite lazy to do it as well. As the thought of doing it makes me feel lazy to go out, as if it is a marking between here and there.

康桥，再会吧（转载）

2009-09-13T10:35:00.000+01:00

徐志摩一首关于剑桥的诗

我心头盛满了别离的情绪，
你是我难得的知己，我当年
辞别家乡父母，登太平洋去，
（算来一秋二秋，已过了四度
春秋，浪迹在海外，美土欧洲）
扶桑风色，檀香山芭蕉况味，
平波大海，开拓我心胸神意，
如今都变了梦里的山河，
渺茫明灭，在我灵府的底里；
我母亲临别的泪痕，她弱手
向波轮远去送爱儿的巾色，
海风咸味，海鸟依恋的雅意，
尽是我记忆的珍藏，我每次
摩按，总不免心酸泪落，便想
理箧归家，重向母怀中匐伏，
回复我天伦挚爱的幸福；
我每想人生多少跋涉劳苦，
多少牺牲，都只是枉费无补，
我四载奔波，称名求学，毕竟
在知识道上，采得几茎花草，
在真理山中，爬上几个峰腰，
钧天妙乐，曾否闻得，彩红色，
可仍记得？——但我如何能回答？
我但自喜楼高车快的文明，
不曾将我的心灵污抹，今日
我对此古风古色，桥影藻密，
依然能坦胸相见，惺惺惜别。

康桥，再会吧！
你我相知虽迟，然这一年中
我心灵革命的怒潮，尽冲泻
在你妩媚河身的两岸，此后
清风明月夜，当照见我情热
狂溢的旧痕，尚留草底桥边，
明年燕子归来，当记我幽叹
音节，歌吟声息，缦烂的云纹
霞彩，应反映我的思想情感，
此日撤向天空的恋意诗心，
赞颂穆静腾辉的晚景，清晨
富丽的温柔；听！那和缓的钟声
解释了新秋凉绪，旅人别意，
我精魂腾跃，满想化人音波，
震天彻地，弥盖我爱的康桥，
如慈母之于睡儿，缓抱软吻；
康桥！汝永为我精神依恋之乡！
此去身虽万里，梦魂必常绕
汝左右，任地中海疾风东指，
我亦必纡道西回，瞻望颜色；
归家后我母若问海外交好，
我必首数康桥，在温清冬夜
蜡梅前，再细辨此日相与况味；
设如我星明有福，素愿竟酬，
则来春花香时节，当复西航，
重来此地，再捡起诗针诗线，
绣我理想生命的鲜花，实现
年来梦境缠绵的销魂足迹，
散香柔韵节，增媚河上风流；
故我别意虽深，我愿望亦密，
昨宵明月照林，我已向倾吐
心胸的蕴积，今晨雨色凄清，
小鸟无欢，难道也为是怅别
情深，累藤长草茂，涕泪交零！

康桥！山中有黄金，天上有明星，
人生至宝是情爱交感，即使
山中金尽，天上星散，同情还
永远是宇宙间不尽的黄金，
不昧的明星；赖你和悦宁静
的环境，和圣洁欢乐的光阴，
我心我智，方始经爬梳洗涤，
灵苗随春草怒生，沐日月光辉，
听自然音乐，哺啜古今不朽
——强半汝亲栽育——的文艺精英；
恍登万丈高峰，猛回头惊见
真善美浩瀚的光华，覆翼在
人道蠕动的下界，朗然照出
生命的经纬脉络，血赤金黄，
尽是爱主恋神的辛勤手绩；
康桥！你岂非是我生命的泉源？
你惠我珍品，数不胜数；最难忘
骞士德顿桥下的星磷坝乐，
弹舞殷勤，我常夜半凭阑干，
倾听牧地黑野中倦牛夜嚼，
水草间鱼跃虫嗤，轻挑静寞；
难忘春阳晚照，泼翻一海纯金，
淹没了寺塔钟楼，长垣短堞，
千百家屋顶烟突，白水青田，
难忘茂林中老树纵横；巨干上
黛薄茶青，却教斜刺的朝霞，
抹上些微胭脂春意，忸怩神色；
难忘七月的黄昏，远树凝寂，
象墨泼的山形，衬出轻柔螟色，
密稠稠，七分鹅黄，三分桔绿，
那妙意只可去秋梦边缘捕捉；
难忘榆荫中深宵清啭的诗禽，
一腔情热，教玫瑰噙泪点首，
满天星环舞幽吟，款住远近
浪漫的梦魂，深深迷恋香境；
难忘村里姑娘的腮红颈白；
难忘屏绣康河的垂柳婆娑，
娜娜的克莱亚，硕美的校友居；
——但我如何能尽数，总之此地
人天妙合，虽微如寸芥残垣，
亦不乏纯美精神：流贯其间，
而此精神，正如宛次宛土所谓
“通我血液，浃我心脏，”有“镇驯
矫饬之功”；我此去虽归乡土，
而临行怫怫，转若离家赴远；
康桥！我故里闻此，能弗怨汝
僭爱，然我自有谠言代汝答付；
我今去了，记好明春新杨梅
上市时节，盼望我含笑归来，
再见吧，我爱的康桥。

More Acid3

2009-09-10T08:17:00.000+01:00

It has been a long time since I talked about Acid3. Probably because it takes months and years to develop a new version of a browser. Opera just released version 10 and it was fantastic, and everyone should give it a try. Before that Firefox released version 3.5, Safari 4, and IE 8. However, the biggest news for the past year has to be the release of Chrome. I was staying in army in for PPT at that time, and when a friend broke the news to me I was shocked. How will Google's relationship, especially the funding part, with Mozilla be affected by this? On the technical side it was not so much of a shock. Chrome adopts the WebKit rendering engine Safari uses, so these two browsers will have a lot of similarities displaying web pages. Now almost one year after Chrome's release, it is in version 2. But to me it was still just a toy. Very fast, but nothing else.

Back to Acid3. Now Wikipedia has a very nice and detailed page on the Acid3. So there is no point for me to go and download the browsers and do the tests. Just give the scores here. Chrome 2 100/100, but linktest failed (no idea what it is). Firefox 3.5.2 93/100. IE 8 20/100 (still the worst browser without doubt). And congrats to Opera 10 and Safari 4, which scored 100/100.

Targets

2009-09-09T16:58:00.000+01:00

Before my parents left, they (actually my mum) set some “targets” for for my undergraduate years. These targets are simple, and can be summarized in 7 words.

Stay healthy
Study hard
Find a girlfriend

They are not unreasonable, but over simplified. So I created this more elaborated list.

Have a balanced lifestyle and stay healthy
Understand the subjects thoroughly, and obtain the grades required
Find a girlfriend.
Engage in activities and immerse myself into the culture there
Travel around Europe.

Let's see. In the summer of 2012.

IPPT Silver!

2009-08-19T11:07:00.001+01:00

Went to Maju Camp to take my first ever IPPT as an NSman yesterday, with Xiaoye. I had not done any serious exercise since June. My aim was to get silver and that 200 dollar that comes with it. Somehow I managed to achieve it, but barely. As usual, my worry was chin up and 2.4, and I just managed to bag 3 points for each of the station. Thanks to the support by Xiaoye, and maybe a little determination on my part. I don't sound excited at all, although it is something worth a small celebration. Let it take place in my mind.

it's a stupid decision

2009-08-15T15:20:00.000+01:00

ya i ended my job. It was rush. I was overrun by emotions. Should have at least given them advanced notice and it was only 2 weeks left anyway. now a bad reputation is established. destroyed my good image of being hardworking and passionate. lesson learnt. I will not do such a thing again. sometimes I never grew up until i make a mistake. but maybe this time the price is a bit too high.

kind of depressed over this stupid decision. should have listened to parents's advice and counsulted friends for opinion. please let me remember this incident.

Why I'm still working?

2009-08-13T13:28:00.000+01:00

Honestly, I don't know. There are still tons of other stuff to be done and yet I'm spending all that previous time rotting away. I no longer have the energy that was driving me at the start of the attachment. Lab is a chore to me. Facing my supervisor is like the most awkward incident of the day. It's like having a conversion on a topic both party are not interested anymore, but are clinging on to it just for the sake of it. Or because we dare not to acknowledge that it should be over and done with. Where is the motivation? What's the purpose?

I want to spend more time with my family. But I have just extended my project by a month to the end of August. What would the HR people and my supervisor think of me? A person that cannot be relied on? Whatever, I don't rank other people's perception of me higher than my family. And earning money for doing nothing is seriously against my conscience.

I shall end it.

我所知道的康桥（转载）

2009-08-05T16:37:00.012+01:00

如果一切顺利，下个月底要飞到剑桥去读书了，为此特别找了徐志摩的一篇关于剑桥的散文来看看。里面有些词语的翻译跟现在不太一样。

（一）

我这一生的周折，大都寻得出感情的线索。不论别的，单说求学。我到英国是为要从卢梭。卢麦来中国时，我已经在美国。他那不确的死耗传到的时候，我真的出眼泪不够，还做悼诗来了。他没有死，我自然高兴。我摆脱了哥仑比亚大博士衔的引诱，买船票过大两洋，想跟这位二十世纪的福禄泰尔认真念一点书去。谁知一到英国才知道事情变样了：一为他在战时主张和平，二为他离婚，卢梭叫康桥给除名了，他原来是Trinity College的fellow，这来他的fellowship的也给取消，他回英国后就在伦敦住下，夫妻两人卖文章过日子。因此我也不曾遂我从学的始愿。我在伦敦政治经济学院里混了半年，正感着闷想换路走的时候，我认识了狄更生先生。狄更生——Goldsworthy Lowes Dickinson——是一个有名的作者，他的《一个中国人通信》(Letters from John Chinaman)与《一个现代聚餐谈话》(A Modern Symposium)两本小册子早得了我的景仰。我第一次会着他是在伦敦国际联盟协会席上，那天林宗孟先生演说，他做主席；第二次是宗孟寓里吃茶，有他。以后我常到他家里去。他看出我的烦闷，劝我到康桥去，他自己是王家”学院(King's College)的fellow。我就写信去问两个学院，回信都说学额早满了，随后还是狄更生先生替我去在他的学院里说好了，给我一个特别生的资格，随意选科听讲。从此黑方巾、黑披袍的风光也被我占着了。初起我在离康桥六英里的乡下叫沙士顿地方租了几间小屋住下，同居的有我从前的夫人张幼仪女士与郭虞裳君。每天一早我坐街车（有时自行车）上学，到晚回家。这样的生活过了一个春，但我在康桥还只是个陌生人谁都不认识。康桥的生活，可以说完全不曾尝着，我知道的只是一个图书馆，几个课室，和三两个吃便宜饭的茶食铺子。狄更生常在伦敦或是大陆上，所以也不常见他。那年的秋季我一个人回到康桥整整有一学年，那时我才有机会接近真正的康桥生活，同时我也慢慢的“发见”了康桥。我不曾知道过更大的愉快。

（二）

“单独”是一个耐寻味的现象。我有时想它是任何发见的第一个条件。你要发见你的朋友的“真”，你得有与他单独的机会。你要发见你自己的真，你得给你自己一个单独的机会。你要发见一个（地方地方一样有灵性），你也得有单独玩的机会。我们这一辈子，认真说，能认识几个人？能认识几个地方？我们都是太匆忙，太没有单独的机会。说实话，我连我的本乡都没有什么了解。康桥我要算是有相当交情的，再次许只有新认识的翡冷翠了。啊，那些清晨，那些黄昏，我一个人发痴似的在康桥！绝对的单独。

但一个人要写他最心爱的对象，不论是人是地，是多么使他为难的一个工作？你怕，你怕描坏了它，你怕说过分了恼了它，你怕说太谨慎了辜负了它。我现在想写康桥，也正是这样的心理，我不曾写，我就知道这回是写不好——况且又是临时逼出来的事情。但我却不能不写，上期预告已经出去了。我想勉强分两节写：一是我所知道的康桥的天然景色；一是我所知道的康桥的学生生活。我今晚只能极简的写些，等以后有兴会时再补。

（三）

康桥的灵性全在一条河上；康河，我敢说是全世界最秀丽的一条水。河的名字是葛兰大(Granta)，也有叫康河(River Cam)的，许有上下流的区别，我不甚清楚。河身多的是曲折，上游是有名的拜伦潭——“Byron's Pool”——当年拜伦常在那里玩的；有一个老村子叫格兰骞斯德，有一个果子园，你可以躺在累累的桃李荫下吃茶，花果会吊入你的茶杯，小雀子会到你桌上来啄食，那真是别有一番天地。这是上游；下游是从骞斯德顿下去，河面展开，那是春夏间竞舟的场所。上下河分界处有一个坝筑，水流急得很，在星光下听水声，听近村晚钟声，听河畔倦牛刍草声，是我康桥经验中最神秘的上种：大自然的优美、宁静，调谐在这星光与波光的默契中不期然的淹入了你的性灵。

但康河的精华是在它的中权，著名的“Backs”，这两岸是几个最蜚声的学院的建筑。从上面一来是Pembroke， St. Katharine's， King's，Clare， Trinity， St. John's。最令人留连的一节是克莱亚与王家学院的毗连处，克莱亚的秀丽紧邻着王家教堂(King's Chapel)的闳伟。别的地方尽有更美更庄严的建筑，例如巴黎赛因河的罗浮宫一带，威尼斯的利阿尔多大桥的两岸，翡冷翠维基乌大桥的周遭；但康桥的“Backs”自有它的特长，这不容易用一二个状词来概括，它那脱尽尘埃气的一种清澈秀逸的意境可说是超出了画图而化生龙活虎音乐的神味。再没有比这一群建筑更调谐更匀称的了！论画，可比的许只有柯罗(Corot)的田野；论音乐，可比的许只有萧班(Chopin)的夜曲。就这也不能给你依稀的印象，它给你的美感简直是神灵性的一种。

假如你站在王家学院桥边的那棵大桔树荫下眺望，右侧面，隔着一大方浅草坪，是我们的校友居(fellow's building)，那年代并不早，但它的妩媚也是不可掩的，它那苍白的石壁上春夏间满缀着艳色的蔷薇在和风中摇颤，更移左是那教堂，森林似的尖阁不可涣的永远直指着天空；更左是克莱亚，啊！那不可信的玲珑的方庭，谁说这不是圣克莱亚(St. Clare)的化身，那一块石上不闪耀着她当年圣洁的精神？在克莱亚后背隐约可辨的是康桥最潢贵最骄纵的三清学院(Trinity)，它那临河的图书楼上坐镇着拜伦神采惊人的雕像。

但这时你的注意早已叫克莱亚的三环洞桥魔术似的摄祝你见过西湖白堤上的西泠断桥不是？（可怜它们早已叫代表近代丑恶精神的汽车公司给铲平了，现在它们跟着苍凉的雷峰永远离别了人间。）你忘不了那桥上斑驳的苍苔，木栅的古色，与那桥拱下泄露的湖光与山色不是？克莱亚并没有那样体面的衬托，它也不比庐山楼贤寺旁的观音桥，上瞰五老的奇峰，下临深潭与飞瀑；它只是怯伶伶的一座三环洞的小桥，它那桥洞间也只掩映着细纹的波鳞与婆娑的树影，它那桥上栉比的小穿兰与兰节顶上双双的白石球，也只是村姑子头上不夸张的香草与野花一类的装饰；但你凝神的看着，更凝神的看着，你再反省你的心境，看还有一丝屑的俗念沾滞不？只要你审美的本能不曾汩灭时，这是你的机会实现纯粹美感的神奇！

但你还得选你赏鉴的时辰。英国的天时与气候是走极端的。冬天是荒谬的坏，逢着连绵的雾盲天你一定不迟疑的甘愿进地狱本身去试试；春天（英国是几乎没有夏天的）是更荒谬的可爱，尤其是它那四五月问最渐缓最艳丽的黄昏，那才真是寸寸黄金。在康河边上过一个黄昏是一服灵魂的补剂。啊！我那时蜜甜的单独，那时蜜甜的闲暇。一晚又一晚的，只见我出神似的倚在桥栏上向西天凝望：

看一回凝静的桥影，
数一数螺钿的波纹;
我倚暖了石栏的青苔，
青苔凉透了我的心坎...

还有几句更笨重的怎能仿佛那游丝似轻妙的情景：

难忘七月的黄昏，远树凝寂，
像墨泼的山形，衬出轻柔瞑色，
密稠稠，七分鹅黄，三分橘绿，
那妙意只可去秋梦边缘捕捉，...

（四）

这河身的两岸都是四季常青最葱翠的草坪。从校友居楼上望去，对岸草场上，不论早晚，永远有十数匹黄牛与白马，胫蹄没在恣蔓的草丛中，从容的在咬嚼，星星的黄花在风中动荡，应和着它们尾鬃的扫拂。桥的两端有斜倚的垂柳与桔荫护祝水是彻底的清澄，深不足四尺，匀匀的长着长条的水草。这岸边的草坪又是我的爱宠，在清朝，在傍晚，我常去这天然的织锦上坐地，有时读书，有时看水；有时仰卧着看天空的行去，有时反仆着搂抱大地的温软。

但河上的风流还不止两岸的秀丽，你买船去玩。船不止一种：有普通的双浆划船，有轻快的薄皮舟(canoe)，有最别致的长形撑篙船(punt)。最末的一种是别处不常有的：约莫有二丈长，三尺宽，你站直在船梢上用长竿撑着走的。这撑是一种技术。我手脚太蠢，始终不曾学会。你初起手尝试时，容易把船身横住在河中，东颠西撞的狼狈。英国人是不轻易开口笑人的，但是小心他们不出声的绉眉！也不知有多少次河中本来优闲的秩序叫我这莽撞的外行给捣乱了。我真的始终不曾学会；每回我不服输跑去租船再试的时候，有一个白胡子的船家往往带讥讽的对我说：“先生，这撑船费劲，天热累人，还是拿个薄皮舟溜溜吧！”我那里肯听话，长篙子一点就把船撑了开去，结果还是把河身一段段的腰斩了去。

你站在桥上去看人家撑，那多不费劲，多美！尤其在礼拜天有几个专家的女郎，穿一身缟素衣服，裙裾在风前悠悠的飘着，戴一顶宽边的薄纱帽，帽影在水草间颤动，你看她们出桥洞时的姿态，捻起一根竟像没分量的长竿，只轻轻的，不经心的往波心里一点，身子徽微的一蹲，这船身便波的转出了桥影，翠条鱼似的向前滑了去。她们那敏捷，那轻盈，真是值得歌咏的。

在初夏阳光渐暖时你去买一支小船，划去桥边荫下躺着念你的书或是做你的梦，槐花香在水面上飘浮，鱼群的唼喋声在你的耳边挑逗。或是在初秋的黄昏，近着新月的寒光，望上流僻静处远去。爱热闹的少年们揣着他们的女友，在船沿上支着双双的东洋红纸灯，带着话匣子，船心里用软垫铺着，也开向无人迹处去享他们的野福——谁不爱听那水底翻的音乐在静定的河上描写梦意与春光！

住惯城市的人不易知道季候的变迁。看见叶子掉知道是秋，看见叶子绿知道是春；天冷了装炉子，天热了拆炉子；脱下棉袍，换上夹袍，脱下夹袍，芽上单袍；不过如此罢了。天上星斗的消息，地下泥土里的消息，空中风吹的消息，都不关我们的事。忙着哪，这样那样事情多着，谁耐烦管星星的移转，花草的消长喂，风云的变幻？同时我们抱怨我们的生活、苦痛、烦闷、拘束、枯燥，谁肯承认做人是快乐？谁不多少间咒诅人生？

但不满意的生活大都是由于自取的。我是一个生命的信仰者，我信生活决不是我们大多数人仅仅从自身经验推得的那样暗惨。我们的病根是在“忘本”。人是自然的产儿，就比枝头的花与鸟是自然的产儿，但我们不幸是文明人，入世深似一天，离自然远似一天。离开了泥土的花草，离开了水的鱼，能快活吗？能生存吗？从大自然，我们取得我们的生命；从大自然，我们应分取得我们继续的资养。那一株婆娑的大木没有盘错的根只深入在无尽藏的地里？我们是永远不能独立的。有幸福是永远不离母亲抚育的孩子，有健康是永远接近自然的人们。不必一定与鹿豕游，不必一定回“洞府”去；为医治我们当前生活的枯窘，只要“不完全遗忘自然”一张轻淡的药方我们的病象就有缓和的希望。在青草里打几个滚，到海水里洗几次浴，到高处去看几次朝霞与晚照——你肩背上的负担就会轻松了去的。

这是极肤浅的道理；当然。但我要没有过过康桥的日子，我就不会有这样的自信。我这一辈子就只那一春，说也可怜，算是不曾虚度。就只那一春，我的生活是自然的，是真愉快的！（虽则碰巧那也是我最感受人生痛苦的时期。）我那时有的是闲暇，有的是自由，有的是绝对单独的机会。说也奇怪，竟像是第一次，我辨认了星月的光明，草的青，花的香，流水的殷勤我能忘记那初春的睥赐吗？曾经有多少个清晨我独自冒着冷去薄霜铺地的林子里闲步——为听鸟语，为盼朝阳，为寻泥土里渐次苏醒的花草，为体会最微细最神妙的春信。啊，那是新来的画眉在那边调不尽的青枝上试它的新声！啊，这是第一朵小雪球花挣出了半冻的地面！啊，这不是新来的潮润沾上了寂寞的柳条？

静极了，这朝来水溶溶的大道，只远处牛奶车的铃声，点缀这周遭的沉默。顺着这大道走去，走到尽头，再转入林子目里的小径，往烟雾浓密处走去，头顶是交枝的榆荫，透露着漠楞楞的曙色；再往前走去，走尽这林子，当前是平坦的原野，望见村舍，初青的麦田，更远三两个镘形的小山掩住了一条通道。天边是雾茫茫的，尖尖的黑影是近村的教寺。听，那晓钟和缓的清音。这一带是此帮中部的平原，地形像是海里的轻波，默沉沉的起伏；山岭是望不见的，有的是常青的草原与沃腴的田壤。登那土阜上望去，康桥只是一带茂林，拥戴着几处娉婷的尖阁。妩媚的康河也望不见踪迹，你只能循着那锦带似的林木想像那一流清浅。村舍与树林是这地盘上的棋子，有村舍处有佳音，有佳荫处有村舍。这早起是看炊烟的时辰；朝雾渐渐的升起，揭开了这灰苍苍的天幕（最好是微汲后的光景），远近的炊烟，成丝的、成缕的、成卷的、轻快的、迟重的、浓灰的、淡青的、惨白的，在静定的朝气里渐渐的上腾，渐渐的不见，仿佛是朝来人们的祈祷，参差的翳入了天听。朝阳是难得见的，这初春的天气。但它来时是起早人莫大的愉快。顷刻间这周遭弥漫了清晨富丽的温柔。顷刻间你的心怀也分润了白天诞生的光荣。 “春”！这胜利的晴空仿佛在你的耳边私语。 ”春“！你那快活的灵魂也仿佛在那里回响。

（五）

伺候着河上的风光，这春来一天有一天的消息。关心石上的苔痕，关心败草里的花鲜，关心这水流的缓急，关心水草的滋长，关心天上的云霞，关心新来的鸟语。怯伶伶的小雪球是探春信的小使。铃兰与香草是欢喜的初声。窈窕的莲馨，玲珑的石水仙，爱热闹的克罗克斯，耐辛苦的蒲公英与雏菊——这时候春光已是烂缦在人间，更不须殷勤问讯。

瑰丽的春放。这是你野游的时期。可爱的路政，这里不比中国，那一处不是坦荡荡的大道？徒步是一个愉快，但骑自转车是一个更大的愉快，在康桥骑车是普遍的技术；妇人、稚子、老翁，一致享受这双轮舞的快乐。（在康桥听说自转车是不怕人偷的，就为人人都自己有车，没人要偷。）任你选一个方向，任你上一条通道，顺着这带草味的和风，放轮远去，保管你这半天的逍遥是你性灵的补剂。这道上有的是清荫与美草，随地都可以供你休憩。你如爱花，这这里的是锦绣似的草原。你如爱鸟，这里多的是巧啭的鸣禽。你如爱儿童，这乡间到处是可亲的稚子。你如爱人情，这里多的是不嫌远客的乡人，你到期处可以“挂单”借宿，有酪浆与嫩薯供你饱餐，有夺目的果鲜恣你尝新。你如爱酒，这乡间每“望”都为你储有上好的新酿，黑啤如太浓，苹果酒、蕃酒都是供你解渴润肺的。……带一卷书，走十里路，选一块清静地，看天，听鸟，读书，倦了时，和身在草绵绵处寻梦去——你能想像更适情更适性的消遣吗？

陆放翁有一联诗句：“传呼快马迎新月，却上轻舆趁晚凉”；这是做地方官的风流。我在康桥时虽没马骑，没轿子坐，却也有我的风流：我常常在夕阳西晒时骑了车迎着天边扁大的日头直追。日头是追不到的，我没有夸父的荒诞，但晚景的温存却被我这样偷尝了不少。有三两幅画图似的经验至今还是栩栩的留着。只说看夕阳，我们平常只知道登山或是临海，但实际只须耳阔的天际，平地上的晚霞有时也是一样的神奇。有一次我赶到一个地方，手把着一家村庄的篱笆，隔着一大田的麦浪，看西天的变幻。有一次是正冲着一条宽广的大道，过来一大群羊，放草归来的，偌大的太阳在它们后背放射着万缕的金辉，天上却是乌青青的，剩这不可逼视的威光中的一条大路、一群生物，我心头顿时感着神异性的压迫，我真的跪下了，对着这冉冉渐翳的金光。再有一次是更不可忘的奇景，那是临着一大片望不到头的草原，满开着艳红的罂粟，在青草里亭亭像是万盏的金光，阳光从褐色云斜着过来，幻成一种异样紫色，透明似的不可逼视，霎那间在我迷眩了的视觉中，这草田变成了……不说也罢，说来你们也是不信的！

一别二年多了，康桥，谁知我这思乡的隐忧？也想不别的，我只要那晚钟撼动的黄昏，没遮拦的田野，独自斜倚在软草里，看第一个大星在天边出现！

十五年一月十五日

Sum of the first ½ integer

2009-08-01T16:19:00.000+01:00

This may not make sense. There is ½ of an integer, but what is the first ½?

Just consider this formula s=½n(n+1), which gives the sum of the first n integers, s. When we plot a graph of s versus n, we have

From the graph, the s value will give the sum of the first n integer. Like reading off from the graph. So to find the sum of the first ½ integer, just substitute n=1/2 and we have s = 3/8. This applies to any fraction.

Ya the sum of the first ½ integer is 3/8. It is by no means any serious mathematics. Just some food for thought.

刘贝语录

2009-07-31T03:48:00.000+01:00

我说：“你自己去玩吧，我要睡午觉。”刘贝回答：“你睡十觉吧。”

妈妈说：“有些东西你不会做就不要做，等你长大了再做。”贝说：“我会坐呀！”然后就真的坐起来。

我说：“你再淘气警察叔叔就把你抓到监狱里了，就不能跟刘云玩了。”贝说：“那你自己玩吧！”好像我很想跟他玩似的。

刘贝看见两根铅笔，一根长，一根短。他指着短的那根说：“它没吃菜。”

US or UK?

2009-07-28T16:31:00.003+01:00

US is the leader in many fields in science and technology. Few countries can rival the sheer quality and quantity of research published, especially after the second world war. As a result, many covet for a place in the leading labs, institutes or universities to do their postgraduate studies. There are also an array of silicon valley giants. They seem only to have emerged and blossomed in the unique American environment.

However, it is intriguing to note that some truly revolutionary and ideas in the 20th century didn't originate from the US. The computer, for example, was made possible largely thanks to Alan Turing. The Internet was invented by Tim Berners-Lee. Both are British.

So how do you compare? It all depends on what you see as important. Personally, it is as if fated that I'm going UK. As my parents are going France in December for a few months; one of my cousin going Ireland for study. And one of my uncle and his family are in Austria. A small extended family gathering in Europe coming up in Christmas. :)

I think I'm having a pre-departure identity crisis.

OBS

2009-07-16T10:34:00.005+01:00

It sounds quite crazy that people as old as me need to attend it. How can it be of any use after I have gone through the period of time that I cannot name. I'm thinking of how to put everything into words. After 3 days of sharing and journal writing, it's time to face the blunt truth by myself. But the experience was still hot in my memory that photos may be a better means to express.

I went in with an open mind to “have fun, meet new friends and discover more about myself”, just like everyone else. It was fun. It's fantastic to work with positive thinking people. It had physically and technically demanding activities. It's also a platform to sell yourself, a chance to put yourself into the limelight. Call it a “secret in-breeding programme”, or whatever.

Was I too critical? No. I wished it was longer. The previous four days of indoor talks were horrible in comparison. Introverts also need friends. Jokes are meant to be shared, cards to be played together, and journey gone with the assurance that you're not alone. Hope the friendship will endure, and the memory will last.

Obsessed with upgrading

2009-07-12T04:55:00.000+01:00

In theory, “Remaking our Heartland” sounds fantastic. It gives a makeover to old apartments through installation of new facilities and maintenance and upgrading of current ones. Since Singapore has limited land, which by now are already allocated to their respective uses, we can't just leave the buildings to rot. Ya I agree up to this point.

However, many things work fantastic on paper but not in reality, and sadly I think this national project is one such thing. Like everyone else, I do like to see my HDB blocks in a better condition, but we must acknowledge that the process is not a pleasant one. Projects take months to complete, and they seem to have endless of them lining up throughout the year. First the pavement needs new tiles, months later they realize they need railing for the elderly and the disabled on the exact same pavement. Then the entire exterior of the block needs repainting, followed by the the lift, the covered shelter, children's playground and the list goes on. To be honest, I am very proud that we have so many facilities and the Town Councils do a nice job of knowing all these. But they seem to remember them one by one. The noise and smell and dust from these continuous construction are very harmful and irritating to the residents. Imagine the drilling would start every day at 8.30 am, and consider these people who are taking a day off, resting at home because of illness or shift, or just wanting to sleep beyond this time. . Spare us the continuous noise, dust and smell. I only want to see the faces of the contractors every 5 years.

These upgrades are meant to benefit the residents, not to irritate them every now and then, when the committee sees fit to upgrade or install something. I feel that I am at the mercy of these town council, who spent the monthly contribution I made to them, to irritate me. Are they driven by the need of the contractors to make profit or the need of residents to enjoy better living conditions?

四大名著像什么游戏呢？

2009-07-04T10:18:00.002+01:00

《水浒传》

MMORPG。108个主角，每个人的贡献铸成了梁山的传奇。

《三国演义》

RTS即时策略。多变的策略，资源的支配，人才的管理将决定国家的兴衰。

《西游记》

RPG角色扮演。4个人闯天下，典型的角色扮演。

《红楼梦》

个人觉得不像任何游戏，最接近的可能就是The Sims. 模拟家庭生活。

Dolphins

2009-06-22T10:13:00.001+01:00

I was reading an article on the Amazon dolphin on the June 2009 edition of National Geographic. It has nothing special to offer. However, there is a paragraph on the other river dolphins in the word. It mentioned the baiji, or Yangtze dolphin.

Suddenly as if a connection has been established and for some reason I felt very sad. I was full of anger when I heard about it's extinction 2 years ago. As of now, I just felt sad, as if a friend has died, although the only link between it and me is that I mentioned about it once on my blog.

A biologist in the article said “losing the baiji is like taking a chain saw to the cetacean tree of life. We've lost 20 million years of independent evolution”. Maybe there is a connection deep down there.

Wirth's Law

2009-05-01T03:43:00.000+01:00

Everyone has heard of Moore's law. It states that, loosely, the performance of the CPU would double every certain period of time (originally it was one year, someone says it's 18 months or 2 years). In another word, the number of transistors placed onto an integrated circuit has increased exponentially over time. The same thing can be said about hard disk, RAM and so on. The result is the ever faster computer that we are using right now.

However, after decades of growth in computer speed, do our computers really run that many times faster? I personally doubt it, and the answer seems to lie with Wirth's law. According Wikipedia, the law states that “software is getting slower more rapidly than hardware becomes faster”. So after all our computers are not as fast as they should be.

This is hardly surprising, as all the software companies want is MORE features. These features can hardly be understood by an ordinary person, let alone be made use of. Many softwares have spun from Mbs to Gbs in just a few years, as software developers ignore the quality of code, thinking that the advances in hardware will catch up. Underneath the nicer appearance are the software bloat, and the sinister aim: time to upgrade again.

老舍的《四世同堂》

2009-04-28T14:03:00.001+01:00

一些看起来毫不起眼的生活琐事，到了老舍的笔下，却成了反映整个时代特色的素材。我们拿两部大家比较熟悉的作品来看。在《骆驼祥子》里，一个洋车夫的堕落让人们感受到当时社会的畸形与黑暗；老百姓在《茶馆》里的唠闲嗑成了社会变迁的写照。这次他同样地不写民国政府或者游击队，也不写激烈的战场或者大汉奸汪精卫，却抓住“小羊圈”这个不痛不痒的地方创造了一部关于日本侵略中国的小说。故事虽然是虚构的，但语气激昂，带这浓厚的爱国情绪，并十分逼真的描写了三种人，每个人的优点缺点癖好思想都被展露的淋漓尽致，让我觉的书里的角色都是活在我身边的。

大部分的北平人，包括住在小羊圈里的居民都是属于第一种---我称呼他们为“忍”者。他们有力量，有智慧去反抗，可是为了明哲保身，却在铁蹄下苟延残喘的活着。他们以为只要安分守己的过日子，就能熬过去，但小崔和孙七等却无缘无故丢了命。这种人的典型就是瑞宣。作为这本书的主角，老舍详细地描写了他内心激烈、复杂的思想斗争，和他那时时刻刻受到谴责的良心。不难理解，这些人给读者的忠告就是：在亡了国的时候，大家不但失去了自由和自尊，连活下去的权利都掌握在敌人的手里了。

第二种人就是敢于抗击的英雄们，代表人物就是被折磨后的钱默吟。儿子殉国以后，他被汉奸出卖，从一个不问世事的诗人，变成了一个积极的幕后抗战工作者。小说不停地歌颂他们的功德，因为很显然他们的工作是值得大家尊敬的。同样在一开始就离家出走的瑞全在后来也成的抗战的代表。像桐芳，刘师傅和小文夫妇这些人虽然开始不积极，但到了最后，也勇于拼搏。

最后一种，也是我认为描写的最惟妙惟肖就是汉奸。老舍把他们比喻成“暑天粪窑的蛆”，说“他们只忠于自己---为升官，为发财，而不顾成千上万人的死活，把弱势群体的无助当成向上升的台阶。他们无聊，无知，无心肝，无廉耻，在没有外患的时候，他们使社会腐烂。当外患来到，他们是国家亡得快一点。”李空山，祁封瑞夫妇，冠晓荷夫妇，蓝东阳，高亦陀这些人为了苟且偷生，为了满足自己的虚荣心，出卖同胞，进贡给“日本的天神们”。他们之间没有友情爱情，只有勾心斗角，肉欲，金钱与官职。丁约翰不能算是汉奸，但他那崇洋媚外的劲儿不亚于任何人，好比千万人的写照。老舍很恰当的说这些人是百年来中国受到外国列强侵略的后遗症，是中华文化的渣滓。

值得一提得是祁家有点像巴金《激流三部曲》中的高家。家里都有个老太爷，而且老太爷都有三个成年的孙子。大孙子（瑞宣和觉新）都十分有抱负，心系国家与社会，而且思想成熟办事老练，可是因为早早的结婚成家，被束缚了，不能追求自己的理想。老三（瑞全和觉慧）也都十分叛逆，而且毫不隐瞒自己的想法，和老大一样十分关心国事，最终为了自己的理想而离家出走。《四世同堂》也和《红楼梦》有点“相似”之处。最后十几章的原稿遗失了，所以现在我们看到的结局是从英文版又翻译过来的，可能有点靠不住，当然文笔也大失味道。不过不管人们如何评价，这本小说在历史中还是有它的一席之位的。

后记：这篇文章我回中国前就写好了，可是没想到一趟神州之旅没把我的汉语水平提高多少。经反复斟酌，语句依然不通，缺乏内涵，没有激情，毫无修饰，从头到尾找不到一句像样的话，我甚是自恼，几乎一气之下把文件给删了。不过想想去年中国发生的四川地震和毒牛奶等天灾人祸，那些贪污赈灾款项的官吏们和往牛奶里掺化学药品的商人们总让我想起“蛆”这个字。看来这小说的影响还不小，就应着头皮把它拿出来了。我不顾脸面了！

Alone II

2009-04-20T15:39:00.000+01:00

Listening to the music almost nobody has heard of.

Reading the books almost nobody bothers to read.

Using the Internet browser almost nobody uses.

Interested in the issues that nobody seems to be interested in.

Doing the work that almost nobody understands.

Chinese

2009-04-12T04:53:00.002+01:00

Why so many Chinese don't feel ashamed of themselves when they can't speak Chinese? Is there a defect in the culture here?

为什么这么多华人不觉得不会说华语是一种羞耻呢？这是文化的瑕疵吗？

Global Warming

2009-04-03T18:48:00.000+01:00

In the bitter cold of winter, I wondered “where the hell are you, Global Warming?”

When summer came, I found the answer. “So you're here.”

两首歌

2009-03-21T15:53:00.001Z

在中国的时候听到了两首不错的流行歌曲，不记得在新加坡的电台中放过，所以在这里分享一下。

不要用我的爱来伤害我

自由飞翔（饶舌的部分有点俗）

2 months

2009-03-19T14:57:00.000Z

Finally the 2 months of vacation has come to an end. It felt very fast. Probably I've packed too many programs into this short period. Nevetheless, it's the kind of holiday I won't be able to enjoy again, as I believe I'll not have such a long break with nothing much meaningful to do any time soon. Yes I won't.

February 2001 was the last time I celebrated Chinese New Year in my grandparents' house; and I waited till this January to do it again. I saw many relatives from my mum's side as well, some of whom I could no longer recognize as they were still young when I last saw them. I managed to meet up with many primary and middle school friends for the first time in like 8 to 9 years. Although with tons of words to say, years of separation still created a barrier after all.

For the bulk of the time I stayed in Shanghai, shopping for winter clothings and other daily items too expensive here in Singapore. I tried to improve my cooking skill, without much success. Playing with my brother and ferrying him to and fro kindergarten are more fun. One month of normal life for me with family around.

Then I went to Japan. Finally get to see Lele for the first time since his birth. Cultures that the Japanese learned from China are well-preserved, despite the heavy influence from the West since Meiji Restoration. I'm stunned by the beauty of the landscape as well. Disneyland is crap, compared to the spa in natural spring water. I'm very grateful for the chance to visit there, thanks to the hospitality of my uncle.

OK, enough of recollection. Time to move on.

laptop crashed

2008-12-18T07:54:00.002Z

My laptop crashed two days ago. The error "0200 Failure Fixed Disk" appears whenever I want to start it. Looks like the harddisk is gone. I backed up my data about a month ago but something are bound to have been lost, maybe forever.

I have no intention to repair it before I go back China, hence I won't go online at home these 3 weeks. Even if in China I doubt I'll use the computer much as CNY is coming. Hence this blog is going inactive for about two to three months at least. I wish everyone a very early Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Happy Chinese New Year. Time for me to get off my addiction too.

favourite past-time

2008-12-15T16:09:00.000Z

I suddenly realized why computer games and reading are my best hobbies. They both can be done alone, and at home.

Racket games, badminton and table tennis are extremely interesting and fun. It should be the perfect past-time for me. However, they require the participation of a few other people. And in this “busy” world it is often frustrating to organize such events.

Running and swimming, albeit boring, are not bad either, and they can be done alone. But they require me to get out of the house. That action can be a chore when compared to lying on the bed or sitting on the chair. A catalyst is needed.

Other activities such as shopping, bowling, pool and watching movies will never make to the top of the list anyway.

So that's why I 'm sitting in front of my computer again. And soon I will be poring over another book.

Water footprint

2008-12-11T11:04:00.003Z

I was reading Discover again and stumbled upon another interesting article. It was talking about the water footprint, or virtual water usage.

With some much focus nowadays on the carbon footprint, it is rather refreshing to hear something different, although their idea is the same. To me, talking about water is much more pratical about carbon, as it is a much more precious resource that we need everyday.

The article details some fact. The virtual water for a cup of coffee is 37 gallons, a sheet of paper 3 gallons. And a pair of leather shoes 4400 gallons. The average footprint of a person is about 328410 gallons each year, America is 656012, and China 185412.

It also urges us to eat lower on the food chain, as eating meat consumes much more virtual water. The reason is simple. Animals require years to grow, using up a huge amount of water in the process. Whereas vegetables, wheat, rice and fruits are much less as they ripen within a year. (But don't animals pee, too?)

Looks like a lot lifestyle changes are needed.

IMRE attachment

2008-12-06T06:24:00.001Z

I have finished the first full week of attachment at IMRE. It was quite boring, as I am alone in this project and haven't started on any hands-on experiment yet. That is not to say that I have understood the theory part. I'm far from it. In fact I can only describe all the phenomenons of electrospinning in the most lay-man's term, as the underlying physics requires formula that are beyond me. I can state all the terms without any problem, but I do not know their full meaning. Then there's all the spectroscopy. They are killing me.

However, there are some untoward advantage working there. As it is located in NUS, I could meet some friends whom I thought I had forgotten them. And it is very near my house, with 3 buses able to ferry me to and fro, within 10 minutes. Only Tanglin is more convenient to me.

The best part so far is that there is not much restriction on me. The working hour is something around 8.30-6, but I think I can go home whenever I want. I can go to tea break or lunch as many times as I like, and even if I don't turn up I doubt anyone will know too. However, all these are likely to end soon as I'm starting to work in the lab, and that means much more things to do.

I have also attended a two days course on safety. Suddenly the words OSHAS, PPE and MSDS came back to me. I thought I have left them for good when I left my workshop, only to meet it here again. And I think I'm beginning to get addicted to coffee, thanks to the excellent coffee machine they have here at every floor.

And ya I forgot to mention the canteens. The design of the Arts canteen is far better than those in Business or Science. It is new and decorated with bright colours and nice lamps. It also gives people a sense of cleanliness and the whole place is more pleasant to the eyes. I have yet to try out all the stalls though, and I will do so in the weeks to come.

Flash说唱

2008-12-02T10:23:00.004Z

有几个好听的flash说唱要介绍给大家。虽说大部分都是好几年前的作品了，里面的语言也有些粗俗，不过还是反映了些问题，值得一听的。最出名的当然就是《大学自习室》系列，尤其是原作，在Youtube可以找到许多真人扮演的版本。还有那个关于台湾的，2004年曾在英国BBC World Service中的East Asia Today被介绍过。

Alone

2008-12-01T15:08:00.004Z

I went to Britain at the age of 10. Stayed there for 9 months.
I came to Singapore at the age of 13, and stayed here until now.
I did not know any of my friends doing the above 2 at that time.
I went to NJC after my secondary school. I was the only one in my year.
I went to SIMO and SRP. Again alone.
My brother was born. Suddenly I am no longer the only child. I have never heard anyone whose age difference between sibling is 18, and with noone in between too.
I finished NS. All two years I am alone in Singapore.
I got a scholarship to study overseas. No one around me is going there. I hope that will change somehow.
All the above are joyous moments in my life. Yet why am I alone?
I don't know the meaning of this post. I don't know why it's written.
I can hardly understand all of the above.

Billions

2008-11-26T10:11:00.002Z

After reading a very interesting heading on BBC News ”Is Africa addicted to aids?”, I wanted to write something about Africa. Anyway in the last 50 years the West has poured more than $600bn of tax payers’ money into aid in Africa. Yet there still seems so many problems, and so much to talk about. The genocide in DR Congo; pirates in Somali; inflation in Zimbabwe. AIDS pandemic, corruption, illegal bush meat, ivory, lumber etc trade. You name it.

Until I saw another headline. “US Fed announces $800bn stimulus”.

Ginza is back! with a new name

2008-11-20T12:45:00.006Z

Yesterday was busy listening to Handlebars that I forgot to write about what happened on that day. I went to West Coast Plaza with Jian Chao after bowling. Never heard of the shopping centre before? Actually it was called Ginza Plaza(most likely you never heard before too) last time. After being renovated for more than a year, it has reopened recently.

The structure changed quite a lot. Gone are the spiral staircases, dull colours and weird designs. It gives me a more lively feel as it has put on the Christmas decorations. Gone too are the LAN shops and massage salons. Instead, they have embraced a new concept with shop houses smaller than 5 m². Sometimes I wonder whether the things inside are for display purpose or on sale. But it is quite new and unique and it makes the shops less intimidating as I can survey the entire shop with just one glance. There are a lot more Japanese shops too. But according to Jian Chao, this is hardly surprising as Ginza refers to a very famous place in Japan.

The shop n save, KFC, McDonald have disappeared too. They are replaced by ColdStorage, and some other more high-class restaurants such as Starbucks, Sakae Sushi and a few others that I have never heard before. Although there are still some shops yet to open, it is a major overhaul indeed. In such a way that we couldn't even find a cheap place to eat. In the end we settled our dinner at some BBQ Chicken shop. This can be considered our ORD dinner ba.

Gone too is the chance to join the throngs of youngsters in the LAN shops and the chance to get a cheap and good massage.

From "Where is the Love?" to "Handlebars"

2008-11-19T13:56:00.006Z

Months ago I heard this song Handlebars in camp. I thought it was silly: what the heck is "I can ride my bike with no handlebars"? However, other people told me to listen to it carefully. So today I went to Youtube and listened to it again. With the lyrics showing together with the song, I have to admit that I was so wrong at that time. The words are very powerful, and melody somewhat addictive, with "flavours of Jazz".

The song also reminds me of another song released years earlier, Where is the Love? by The Black Eyed Peas. It is anti-Iraq war, and also highlights other problems such as government hypocrisy, social and racial intolerance. The styles of the two songs are different, but the artists all try to make known to people about such problems.

They will be the few rap songs in my music collection.

ORD loh!

2008-11-10T05:25:00.003Z

The morning downpour looks like the final obstacle I have to face. But after getting my pink IC, I feel like a pheonix reborn from the ashes. Who cares the rain?

Obama

2008-11-05T12:55:00.006Z

Obama has become the first African American president, and the first black man to enter the White House. Just as all the polls have indicated, he claimed victory and made history. His achievement would have been unimaginable decades ago, and it is an indication of the strength of the American people, and their eagerness for change.

Change has been the theme of his campaign and it is a wisely chosen one. President George Bush is unpopular to say the least. In his eight years in office, America has gone to two wars, is on the brink (or already in) of the worst financial crisis in a few generations, and has a tremedous deficit. He cannot escape the blame for his party's losses in both the Senate and House of Representatives two years ago. Senator McCain may have some brilliant ideas and proved experiences, but these cannot make people ignore the mistakes committed by the Republican Party.

I am awed by Obama's ability to raise funds to run for the office. Starting from the Democrat primaries, his vast network of cash have enabled him to focus, and is also a convincing testament for his popularity and support. His speech is like, just too powerful and inspiring.

However, the US and the world need much more than charisma from a president. His future policies, whether in line with his campaign promises or not, are essential to steer the world in the right direction. Let's see if he can deliver.

it's november

2008-11-04T13:37:00.006Z

Finally November has crept in. All the two years I have been waiting for this miracle month, so it seems strange that when it's here, the excitement I was hoping to undergo was not there. Rather, I was much more excited in the previous two months, chanting my ORD date now and then. It was definitely an effort to console myself, and to give myself the much needed energy for the last lap of my journey. Now that I am reaching the finishing line, I began to calm down, and reflect on the past two years.

I have gone through a lot of shit. Seriously. Much more shit than what an average technician would face in his ns life. Driving course, overseas exercise, local exercises, standby, attachment and so on. On top of all these, there're the daily sufferings, such as the more than 3 hours journey on bus everyday to and fro camp. The numerous OT. The uncompromising and insensitive superiors. I'm very happy that I'm still in one piece, and not scarred by db or extra duties.

But as the saying goes, no pain no gain. I hope all the experiences will make me a stronger person, instead of forming a painful series of neuron connections that will haunt me for the rest of my life.

Having said so, there were also meaningful lessons that I have learnt. I believe most of them are intangible as I cannot name lot of them. The camaraderie and the talk cock session are just the obvious ones.

Looking at the Label on my blog, it seems that National Service has the most number of entries. It shows how much my life has been revolving around it. Now I will put it on hiatus, a truly long one.

老同学

2008-10-30T05:19:00.003Z

昨天费了九牛二虎之力终于在“校内网”上注册了个帐号，不过我的努力没有白费，到晚上就找到了几个小学的同学。八年了。八年我没能跟他们说上一句话。我简直不敢相信我真的在和他们聊天！

跟柳碧涛，齐文正，莫瑞方，张天娇都聊了些，虽然很激动很兴奋，但是有种千言万语不知从何说起的感觉。虽然只是那短短的几句话，可是包含了我这些年的思念之情。跟安政说的最多，没想到他跑到美国去了，本来还想今年过年能见见他。他和张天娇的恋情也是扑朔迷离（我不太清楚，可是感觉上可以写一本书了），祝这两个“高个子”在美国幸福。

我兴奋的昨晚一夜都没睡好。真希望今天晚上能再遇见多几个老同学。

a tribute

2008-10-29T05:07:00.005Z

not sure how to start on this thing. i'm feeling lost and weird. the scope of life suddenly changed angle and lead me to a new place. the bmt bunk, the jungles in tekong, the parade square. things that i thought i have forgotten were back on my mind. i have not seen him since, and although it was a long period ago, it was not easy to forget him.

he was older than most of us, and being so was much more matured in handling that fact that we were enlisted in the army. there is always a competition going around to see who's the last person not to report/fall sick, and he was the last few standing. he was the one who called me muhammad liuyun. and only few days before pop i realised that we were from the same secondary school.

that was the last time i saw him, and just as we are all going to ord in 2 weeks time, he is involved in a motorbike accident. the kind of feeling you get is just overwhelming, and it was particularly so when alex broke the news to me. just like that, a person, with a dream and plan after ns, is gone, as if wind has blown away his life when the words were spoken finished.

may you rest in peace, mustafa.

读《红楼梦》有感

2008-10-24T14:11:00.005+01:00

这个题目用在一部巨作上似乎有点太俗了，但与其绞尽脑汁来想一个花俏的名字，我还是最好不要班门弄斧在这种地方花心思。

《红楼梦》和《西游记》、《水浒传》、《三国演义》被统称为四大名著，所以它的名字是妇孺皆知的。但往细节里看，《红楼梦》对我们来说是陌生的，因为里面没有一个章节是家喻户晓的。我们茶前饭后所听到的、看到的和谈到的，也少有《红楼梦》的影子，可见它的民间影响也就远不及其它三部了。

《西游记》有大闹天宫、三打白骨精，《水浒传》有一百单八将、武松打虎，《三国演义》就更不用说了，什么桃园结义、三顾茅庐、草船借箭等等更是无人不知；以其为背景的电脑游戏和电影也数不胜数。你能说出一个《红楼梦》里出名的故事吗？我看很难。比较出名的还是一个歇后语：刘姥姥进大观园——眼花缭乱。然而偏偏就是这么一本书，却被共认为最优秀的古典文学，比任何一部文学作品都要好。为什么呢？我怀着这个问题把这本“空前绝后”的书读了一遍。

几个月后...

我无法用任何文学的眼光去鉴赏，只把它当成一本故事书侧重看情节。

书里的故事和人物关系十分错综复杂，很像无数个家庭琐事的流水帐，虽然有一个总的路线，但发展十分缓慢。为了衬托出女性主人公的特色，贾家的男人被描写成了典型的纨绔子弟，奸淫、内斗、在外采花问柳，挥霍无度，对祖上的名声业绩也一概不顾，伤风败俗的事干了一箩筐。最让我佩服的是作者花费了大量笔墨来描写人物之间的对话，动作和思想，也许就是因为如此，《红楼梦》的人物形象特别的明显。虽然有七百多人登场，贾宝玉，林黛玉，薛宝钗，王熙凤四个主角的个性被塑造的十分鲜明，其他配角也很突出。

然而我所不能理解的是书里的人的身体十分不好，被主子说几句或者受一点凉、累就能一卧不起，病上好几个月甚至把命搭上。总的来说作者通过对家庭生活细心的描写把清朝社会官宦世家活生生的印在了纸上。

《红楼梦》可以说是一个故事性的“百科全书”，其中包含了许多中华文化像中医，建筑，膳食，服饰等，文学价值十分高。里面的诗词更是绝顶。十二金钗于宝玉他们中秋打的字谜，和“海棠社”里的诗句了，就够我受的，虽然不是完全不懂，可是根本分不出优劣。宝玉的文学修养还数不着，但他写给晴雯写的祭词也是深奥无比。

但是有一点我是十分肯定的，那就是最后一部（我看的版本被分成四部，一部三十回）明显是出于另外一个人的手笔，语句的连贯性和措词都大大不如前三部，诗词也只出现了一两次，可见高鹗的为学造诣和曹雪芹还差的多呢。

说了这么多，我还是不能回答我在前面提出的问题，可见我对《红楼梦》还是一头雾水。没办法只好参考了些网上的资料，又听了几集“百家讲坛”关于解读红楼梦的讲座，总算对些地方是明白了些。红楼梦的伟大之处在于作者在文字上伏笔千里，给整本书增加了无穷的魅力，可以说是让人越读越有味。这可以从他用谐音给人物取名看的出来，比如书一开头介绍了两个和故事不太相干的人物“贾雨村”和“甄士隐”，他两个人的谐音概括了整本书的纲要“假语存”和“真事隐”（贾府=假府，元春、迎春、探春、惜春=原应叹息，贾政、贾敬=假正经，贾王薛史=家亡血史，等等）。

还有就是贾宝玉，林黛在“道义规矩”的扼杀人之本性天性的封建文明中出现是一个奇迹，作者借此对封建礼教的蔑视与批判，体现了人性的真实。然而《红楼梦》的成书过程是一气呵成的，而其它三部的章届早已在民间流传，以不同的艺术方式出现，到明朝被人总结为一部部长篇小说，所以《红楼梦》民间影响不大。你们明白了吗？

我不敢相信我糊里糊涂的写了这么长，其实三个字就可以概括了：没看懂。

Oliver Twist

2008-10-17T14:03:00.002+01:00

I have read a myriad of great novels without bothering to write down anything. I feel it is a great loss to me as the kind of feeling or thought these writings evoked when I was reading are not easily replicated in any other situation. Now that I have completed Dickens's Oliver Twist, it may be the time that I start writing something, and hopefully it will be the the beginning.

His vocabulary just cannot be matched. He can use very formal words to describe the lives people in higher class, and use street and gang slang for the criminal and lower society. Such descriptions blend so well that this work can be called nothing but a masterpiece. He is also very good at describing the inner feeling of the characters, and I can relate to such feelings when I was in a similar situation. One of the examples is his descriptions of young Oliver's thoughts before he slept, and his journey to London. Another example was his narration of Fagin's despondent last day in the cell and his thoughts. In addition, he is very good at painting a grim and filthy picture of neighbourhood and workhouse. London in the 19th century has come alive with the elegance of his language. It is not as hard to understand as those written in the 18th century such as Robinson Crusoe, Gulliver's Travel, though.

Nevertheless, it is easy to point out the faults in the story. Firstly, Oliver is way too lucky. When he first went to the street to pickpocket (he was unaware), he ran into his father's old friend, Mr Brownlow. And in his next adventure to rob a house (against his will), he ran into his kind aunt, Rose Maylie, although in both instance he did not know his relationship with them yet. Secondly, the treatment of Fagin and his gang were too harsh at the end. The whole city seemed to boil with anger at the murder of Nancy for no other apparent reason, and Fagin was sentenced to death for his mostly petty crimes. Thirdly, in Book the Third, Oliver is hardly featured at all. All the happenings were for him instead of by him.

All these things are nothing as I'm absorbed into the world of Oliver Twist. Just love it.

no title

2008-10-15T15:02:00.000+01:00

I have not written anything here for a while, not because I'm lazy or busy, but there is nothing to write. Not much happenings in my life for this period of time. I have cleared plenty of offs and leaves, so as to stay at home to play computer games and read some books. Its not really kind of healthy things to do, though.

On Monday I went to watch Eagle Eye. Never got awed in a while, probably since Transformers. Although the idea of the movie is not new--a supercomputer taking control because it thinks that human can't judge for themselves--the action was powerful. The way the women's voice reverberates and her ability to change everything digital to her advantage makes this computer much smarter than those depicted in I, Robot and Resident Evil. It was also funny to watch all the LED displaying something like “Jerry, do this!” to direct Jerry, as he tries to run away from the FBI.

Tuesday went to play table tennis, again at Yong's house. He has definitely slimmed down quite a bit after two months in Thailand. I had difficulties finding Bukit Timah Food Centre as all my previous trips there were from my school, and got a bit lost. The game was good, as it the first time I exercised since my AHM, well, almost 2 months ago.

璇玑图

2008-09-26T16:34:00.007+01:00

无意中发现了这个东西，太震撼了！

我无法用任何语言来形容《璇玑图》的伟大和奥妙，因为这八百四十一字所组成的方形，不管横着、竖着、斜着还是倒着来读，都可以是一首首诗，从而衍化出数以千计的各种诗体的诗。这是前秦女诗人苏蕙所做的回文诗章，为的是表达对丈夫的思念。当初她仅用了几个月时间，不但构思好，还要织在锦缎上，靠的除了她的一腔深情外，也绝对少不了她的绝世才情。今天我们要想彻底读懂，纵使花上几年工夫，也不是人人能做到的（我个人是看不明白）。苏蕙真可算得上是一个鬼才。

some articles

2008-09-15T12:52:00.004+01:00

I'm not an EPL fan. I merely follow the results so that I can have something to discuss about with a soccer fan whenever I meet one. Sometimes I will read into the details of certain matches, transfer gossips, and I can say that I like Liverpool the most. However, I cannot deny that the statement from the Newcastle manager Mike Ashley yesterday was rather extraordinary in the business. What do you think? His statement can be read here.

On a side note, I have to admit that the email by Li Hong Yi was well written too and possesses the quality of a sound argument. Read it here.

And just found out the the game studio Ensemble Studios will be closing down soon. So gone are the Age of Empires developers, and no more 4th installment in the series.

中秋遐想

2008-09-14T13:28:00.003+01:00

早总觉得该写点东西了，可是一直静不下心来斟酌这些字句。今天望着一轮明月突然心情澎湃，一股冲劲把我最近的心情都吐露了出来。

父母和弟弟三人在新加坡的四十多天给我带来了许多温馨与快乐，让我在一年半里第一次享受到天伦之乐。从兵营回到家之后，总是有香喷喷的饭菜等着，有什么不顺心的事情也有人倾诉商量，更幸福的就是还有个两岁大的弟弟整天陪着我玩。生活终于又上了正常的轨道。

父母还是老样子，为了一点鸡毛蒜皮的小事大吵大闹，而争吵的主题始终离不开“钱”。这难道就是传说中的夫妻相处之道？真爱只有从打骂中才能显现出来？虽然大多数是母亲在无理取闹，不过她顶多是在言语上占上风，而父亲看起来好像被欺负，可是行动上毫不让步。家里的格局是起了翻天覆地的变化，因为我的小弟不再是襁褓里的婴儿了，全家人都得围着他团团转。而他呢，除了吃喝拉撒睡之外就不停的缠着我。每天我刚进家门，他就会冲到门口，用他那含糊不清的声音喊我的名字,然后马上叫我和他踢球。后来羽毛球，推车，看照片，滑滑梯，搭巴士等活动也都上了他的节目表，而这些几乎全全由我负责，累的我连坐下来的时间都没有。我实在不明白像搭巴士这么惹人讨厌的事情在他看来竟然是这么的趣味无穷。

现在他们又都回去了。家里只剩四面墙，我又得开始发愁伙食，想要听到人们的笑声和说话声都有点困难。过去的一年里可以说是自由天堂，想干什么就干什么完全没有汇报的必要。整天想着怎么拿到奖学金，怎么考上好大学，得到这些以后发现并没有高兴的一跃三丈，反而是这一个月里一事无成，生活上受到一定的约束，才是最开心的。人们都是脆弱的，不管是外表是多么坚强、冷漠的人，内心总是渴望关怀与温暖，越是独立的人越希望有人陪，因为他个了解寂寞的痛苦与无助。“是不是时候该找个女朋友了？”我问自己。别的不说，自己好歹也二十了，是时候找个伴了。又想到一年后又要飞到千里之外去读书，内心不免矛盾。这激烈的思想斗争可真是剪不断，理还乱啊！

another outfield

2008-09-09T12:32:00.009+01:00

I really hate to write anything about army anymore as my blog seems full of articles on my life as a NSF automotive technician. But there are some trivial points in this PPT to highlight, and I'll just write as they come up to my mind.

To begin with, it is the first outfield that I am an active participant; all previous ones like the one in Thailand, ICT or even the field camp in Tekong were more like shows. I watched the drills being carried out, the mission being completed, with only minimum involvement. Despite the incompetency of the organizing committee and lack of man power, it was fun to load the stores, to set our own SOP, to discuss the course of actions to take. I was a busy actor instead of passive lookers-on.

Military knowledge and experience aside, I succumbed to junk food like never before, all thanks to the load of stores prepared by Joseph. Biscuits, tunas and fruit bars, our LMTV was like a mini-mart, and the same time a garbage dump. He also brought his FM radio, which was a true morale booster when we were squeezing in the cramped up vehicle to catch a nap.

But the worst is yet to come, I lost my hand phone somehow. As I woke up this morning I realised that it was gone. Should have dropped it as I was walking out of the camp when booking out or on the taxi.

Also uploaded some pictures on Facebook. Just too lazy to do it again here.

I conquered 21km!

2008-08-24T16:15:00.006+01:00

I never thought I can finish, but I did in the Army Half Marathon today.

The early morning drizzling and my muddy shoes were quite discouraging. However, my left knee, which always gave me problems after about 5km, miraculously never hurt at all. Running in a mass that stretches in the kilometers was another pushing factor that was not present before. I must admit the girls were an extra motivator too. Still, it was a journey not easily accomplished. Previously the longest distance I have covered was 14km which I completed in 1 hour 30 minutes. It was a grueling experience to say the least. Today it was much worse.

There were plenty of water points, some drums and music to replenish my energy, and the scenery was beautiful, yet all I cared was to look for the next distance indicator. The lack of training became apparent after I crossed the 18km mark. Both of my arms started to feel numb. I was exhausted beyond description and was panting desperately as if my whole system was going to stall due to lack of oxygen. The worst thing was that my brain was not functioning properly; I felt giddy and surrounding seemed blurred. Such feeling never occurred before so I stopped to rest, and walked for a considerate distance.

The thought of 3 days off and achieving something mastered enough energy for me to run the last 1.5km in a good pace. I didn't exactly start at 0:00, but when I look at the timer as I crossed the finishing line, it read 2:24:xx. Yes I did it!

Coincidentally, today was also the final for the man's marathon. After reaching home I checked the world record. For men it stands at 2:04:26, and women 2:15:25. So after all the suffering (I can't walk properly, and have difficulties climbing up and down the stairs), I still took more time to complete half of the distance. This leads me to think that, a medal in events such as marathon, triathlon should carry more weight than the other medals in the Olympics. Full respect to the athletes.

Dark Matter

2008-08-23T03:38:00.005+01:00

Just watched a movie called Dark Matter. It depicts the life of a Chinese student's graduate study life in the America. The protagonist, Liu Xing, was a very smart physicist who have made some probably revolutionary discoveries in the field of cosmology related to dark matter. However, his professor's attitude towards him changes drastically for the worse as Liu starts to question the accuracy of his professor's theory. In order not to let his parents worry and to make his parents proud, Liu did not confide his problems to them. The discontent and stress were exacerbated further by the success of a fellow student, and this culminated into an inevitable disaster in the end.

The dialog was half in Mandarian and half in English, and there were some very deliberate scenes to reflect the lives of overseas Chinese students. They were shown as freeloader and in a world of their own. The director demonstrated, contrary to popular belief at home, a student pursuing a study in a foreign country is not just showered with opportunities, but faces unexpected obstacles in almost every corner of his life. The glory he has gained often overshadowed his personal defects, which can be seen from how poorly Liu dealt with stress and criticism. The lack of support and the language barrier can often prevent the assimilation into the society, and many problems will arise as a result.

The Last Lecture

2008-08-10T04:27:00.011+01:00

Mr Lim told me about the Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. It was a very inspiring talk by this Carnegie Mellon computer science professor, who died of pancreatic cancer on 25th July this year. Although it lasted for more than 1 hour, it is definitely worth watching. I was nearly going to this school!

parents coming

2008-07-08T13:59:00.001+01:00

Finally my parents are coming to Singapore to visit me. They have talked a lot about coming here yet they delayed every time. They missed my POP and scholarship ceremony, and I really miss them and the delicious home cooked food. Although living alone guarantees ultimate freedom, I think some discipline and parental guidance are no harm either. I can finally see my toddler brother, too. I heard from my parents that he had changed a lot since I last saw him. Below are some pictures of him taken around his 2nd birthday in Shanghai.

He received a toy car for his birthday.

Not satisfied? (Mum was taking the picture there).

The stapler looks more interesting to him.

my broken goggles

2008-07-07T03:02:00.008+01:00

Just as Yong Zen was telling me that the nose bridge of his goggles broke, my own goggles gave up in the swimming pool on Saturday. I was putting it on for only the 3rd lap and the rubber stripe just snapped. To continue the swim, I have to tie a knot. It seems a sign that it is probably going to be the last time we can swim in a while. He is getting enlisted this Wednesday. All the best to him in army.

Officially A Singaporean

2008-07-03T15:39:00.008+01:00

Last Sunday I attended the Citizenship Ceremony in Singapore Poly to receive a certificate of identity. Now I'm officially a Singaporean. However, I stiil cannot get my ic, which is supposed to be presented to me together with the certificate. Damn army.

an update on acid3

2008-06-30T13:41:00.001+01:00

Opera recently released the version 9.50 of its browser. As an opera fan, I'm quite disappointed with this release as clearly there are loads of bugs to be fixed and they are rushing to get a release date earlier than Firefox 3. Nevertheless, feature-wise it never disappoints as usual, with Opera Link and improved user interface. I hope to see better efforts next time. However, the acid3 score for this release is much higher than that of 9.2x.

Opera 9.50

Firefox set a Guinness World Record as the most downloaded piece of software in 24 hours. Although it is very popular, the new version not much different from version 2 except in terms of stability and speed. I still find it not as user friendly and feature complete as Opera. It finally passed the acid2 and has a much increased acid3 score too.

Firefox 3.0

A friend from Princeton

2008-06-28T17:54:00.010+01:00

It was quite surprising that Kok Hou came back to Singapore for a few days' stay. I met up with him in town to have a chat. As he's studying in Princeton, our topic inevitably focused on tertiary education. He shared with me that the thinking culture overseas institutions promote is the main difference between the States and Singapore. So as US is the most dominant force in the world, and its culture the most prolific, it's no wonder that to most people, having received an education in the States means that the person is open-minded, rational and current. We also discussed how we see life in general and remember about the JC days, but still could not figure out the exact reason, up to this date, for the “unity” of our class. Brought back a lot of memories and made me think about my university life in Cambridge.

Of course, besides these exchanging of ideas, there was some shopping and eating done. On the day that he flies to Beijing, we (with Yan Shao) ate at this Azabu Sabo in Marina Square. So expensive yet not half full. In the end have to settle for another Big Mac Meal at McDonalds. He was flying off to Beijing to study Chinese. All the best to him.

ps: happened to see the MTO who was my ic in Thailand during the exercise.

some happenings

2008-06-22T15:09:00.007+01:00

I'm spending more time to tweak my blog. Probably because I'm learning some basic HTML recently, I tend to look more into the underlying code rather than the appearance. This WYSIWYM (What You See Is What You Mean) language seems quite counterintuitive to me as I'm much more used to OpenOffice Writer (no more Microsoft Word). Although I have some LaTeX language background but the amount of things to remember for LaTeX is nothing compared to HTML. As the webpages nowadays get more fanciful, the variety of languages and scripts being incorporated is just confusingly numerous.

Anyway I also tried to edit the heading picture, but I think I have done such a poor job that its like patches over patches. However the temptation to put up a piece of work edited by me is so high that I just could not be bothered about the mocking I'm going to receive. Work is still in progress though as I'm thinking of what to replace the three big words in the middle.

In addition, I have changed the chat box to Cbox as my old ChatterBox was very irritating. It will just automatically delete my account when there's no posting after a period of time. So after looking at friends' blogs I think the Cbox used in Christina's blog is not bad and decided to give it a try. Hope it will not fail me. Also just created a Facebook account. Not to say that I didn't hear the success of this social network but was too lazy to set up one until a friend personally told me that I “should” get one.

(Update: it seems that CBox doesn't work as expected either.)

Blog Link

2008-06-16T17:12:00.001+01:00

Blogger recently introduced Blog Link as a replacement (or enhancement) to the Link List feature. I have tried it with quite amazing result, as you can see on the left that the link will show the latest posts of my friends' blogs. I could have added a snippet of the most recent item also but found it too distracting. However, there is a bug or something that prevents me from adding Jian Chao and Thomas's blog though. The website would not even respond when I click on the “Add” button. Looks like I have to use the Link List for a while longer.

《仙剑奇侠传》历代简评

2008-06-11T13:57:00.008+01:00

我认为我还能算一个仙剑的崇拜者。从小学玩到现在，从DOS版玩到四代我一部都没放过。无论舆论的褒贬，我对狂徒制作群和上海软星的支持是没有动摇过的。随着网络游戏的迅速崛起，作为单机角色扮演游戏泰山北斗的仙剑奇侠传的前途可以说是一片迷茫。

DOS和WIN95版

仙剑之所以能“活”到现在90%归功于当时风靡于大江南北的第一代的成就。游戏的操作十分简易，BUG少，但引人入胜的情节是它成功的主要因素，李逍遥、赵灵儿、林月如和阿奴四人之间的爱情故事几乎可以和中国民间四大传说相提并论，主题曲《蝶恋》也跃升为最出名的游戏音乐。每当我看到开场动画中一只只仙鹤在云雾飘渺的丛山中飞翔时，我就会激动起来，迫不及待的进入游戏。仙剑的迷宫是无与伦比的困难，尤其是在傀儡洞中寻找隐藏的五灵神像时我走了几天都没找到，为了能通关必须和朋友经常讨论迷宫的走法。从阴森的迷宫转了出来，就到了热闹的城市，看一幕幕感人的画面，读一首首耐人寻味的诗歌，用有中国特色名称的招式和物品。悲惨的结局所留下的震撼和悬念，能常常令我想起游戏中的高潮迭起的故事。仙剑从此成为了一种文化，一个不能超越的极限。

新仙剑：内容和一代大致一样，只不过用了全新的游戏引擎，虽然漂亮了不少，不过感觉没那么爽。

仙剑二

整个游戏被一代的光辉所埋没。为了对一代有个交待，大宇做出一个“能模仿时就模仿”的续集，一样是一男三女遨游江湖。剧情被一代所束缚，故事的发展毫无起伏，也缺乏连贯性，不能给人新颖的感觉。美术更是彻底的失败。作为帅哥李逍遥和美女赵灵二的女儿，李忆如却被画成了一个丑八怪。网上论坛里不乏腌臜制作团队的玩家，也是因为如此仙剑二很快的在玩家的记忆中消失了。最近看了一篇报道，说公司的内乱是导致二代失败的主要原因。虽然是“家族败类”，但我觉得感人的结局和动听的音乐还是值得鼓励的。

仙剑三

在仙剑二失败后，仙剑三的制作完全由上海软星负责策划。为了不让这个金字招牌倒下去，整个团队可以说是呕心沥血，这一点可以从游戏里的多个小游戏和庞大的系统看出来。魔剑培养，御剑飞行，冶炼合成，投资当铺，我真的不知道他们哪里来这么多点子。整个战斗系统也是大改革，可以说是我见过最精彩，而且不用疯狂按热键的战场。故事背景也基本脱离了一代，我能控制更多的角色来玩出不同的结局。情节的起伏虽然不能和一代相提并论，但也十分有创意，可见这次大换血把仙剑又带回到了正确的轨道上。我所不能接受的是粗糙的3D场景，虽说停留在2D是与时代背道而驰，但好歹也不要让我一直被卡，卡通风格的人物也不适合这么一个老字号。

问情篇：填补了一代和三代剧情中的空缺，起了一个承上启下的作用。虽然删除了当铺和魔剑系统，整个感觉根三代差不多。酒剑仙，剑圣，圣姑，李三思，巫后等等熟悉的人物都作为配角一一登场。

仙剑四

这是上海软星解散前的遗作，一发行就受到了好评。虽然他的历史地位还需要时间的奠基，但四代无疑又掀起了一股仙剑热潮，网上铺天盖地的都是关于“仙剑文化”和“拯救国产单机游戏”的声浪。遗憾的是制作团队的骨干都相继辞职，又给仙剑的将来蒙上了一片阴影。我个人觉的故事情节完全可以和一代相提并论，四个主角的个性被刻画得十分鲜明。战斗系统也被改动，和三代相比各有千秋，3D造型也从卡通升级到了真人比例，画面也细腻的多，操作起来也相当顺畅。

The non-pirate approach

2008-06-07T14:30:00.020+01:00

I'm a pirate. You're a pirate and he's a pirate. In the Internet era, I can say with confidence that all of us at least had been pirates before. Downloading music, movies, books and softwares that are copyright protected without even paying a single cent. I must admit that I did all these indiscriminately in the past. My thinking was simple. Why should I pay if I can get them free? My most prolific years was in JC, after I had learned the art of cracking a software and discovered a good site for movie downloading. It is also somewhat ironic that I received most of my copyright protection education at that time too.

Telling a bit of my piracy history is not a prologue for me to say that I have made a 360 degree change in my attitude. Still, paying for an album of music is just insane. Watching all the movies I want to in cinema is not financially viable. My stand on these two matters may not alter that much in the near future. The only change in my mind is regarding the software part.

I have been using pirated software as long as I can remember. Microsoft Windows, Office, Winzip, Adobe Acrobat, Photoshop, Illustrator, Flash, Dreamweaver, Norton Antivirus are just some more well known names. I never hesitated about finding a way to crack such softwares so that they become fully functional. Until one day I came upon the phrase "open source". The main difference between open source and propriety softwares are that the code of former are freely available to anyone, while that of the latter are secrets. There is an abundance of propriety softwares such as Opera and iTunes which are free. These open source and freewares, in my opinion provide a good if not better alternative to their commercial counterparts. The main reason is that the developers focus more on the core features and user interface, instead of bundling hundreds of useless add-ons.

Using free softwares not only minimize the amount of pirate work I am doing, but it suits my need better. Of course money is the other factor, and makes me feel less guilty. I strongly recommend everyone to use such freewares as much as possible. Below are some alternatives to the common softwares you may have on your computers.

Commercial	Freeware	Open Source
Microsoft Office	IBM Lotus Symphony	OpenOffice.org
WinZip, WinRar	TUGZip	7-Zip
Adobe Photoshop	NA	GIMP
CorelDraw	NA	Inkscape
Norton Antivirus	avast Antivirus	NA

Amazing thailand

2008-06-06T16:55:00.010+01:00

The half a month that I spent in Thailand was quite an eye-opener. It deserved detailed chronicling. However, as I did not bring a camera, thinking that other people would surely bring one, describing everything i saw vividly is inherently difficult with my limited vocabulary. And as I do not want to talk too much about the army, most of the stories will go into my personal diary.

Here are just some points of interest about the trip.

When I left the house for the airport on the 10th, I was trapped in the lift at my block for about 20 minutes. It was the first time I encountered a breakdown and I was all alone. Not much drama and no rescue team as well. The lift came back to life on its own.
I have seen a transsexual for the first time. Maybe you are wondering what was I doing all my 20 years, but seriously it was the first time. The only obvious way to distinguish them is through the pitch of their voice. There are pretty a lot of them there in Thailand.
There was a part of a railway that runs through a small market town in Kanchanaburi, yet there was not any barrier or warning device to inform the motorists of any potential danger. Though I heard that the trains will slow down when they are reaching such junctions, the locals are taking no chance. No one ever speed past this point, even though they disregard most other traffic regulations. So the next time the traffic police in Singapore want to limit the speed of the vehicles, just build one railway through the road. Lol.
Thailand is a beautiful country. When travelling along the roads, I have seen herds of cows grazing on the grass and birds flying about. Near the road there are the rice fields; further are the trees and houses; In the background there are mountains shrouded in clouds and mists. Actually I shouldn't have included this paragraph, as the description was no where close to the actual beauty of the landscape.
There is no showering facility in Sai Yok Camp. Instead, there is a water tank for us to scoop water to wash our bodies. Most of the time there would be lots of insects in the water. I have dubbed them “spices”, just like in the past whereby people added flower pedals to the water when they bathed.
When an artillery fires, the ground will shake. And you can hear the sounds of the shell as it travels in the projectile.
Certainly Thai people are better at field deployment. When the troops arrived at their deployment sites, ninja stores were already set up to sell ice-creams, fried rice and noodles to the soldiers. And they are a daring group pf people. I have seen a small boy around the age of 10 navigating around the artillery guns and command posts to sell drinks to the Singapore soldiers.

Sai Yok Camp

2008-05-08T12:08:00.003+01:00

I'll be in Thailand from 10th to 27th this month. On duty for the army.

都是《卧虎藏龙》惹的祸

2008-04-30T14:20:00.002+01:00

前不久看了《江山美人》真令我大跌眼镜，除了剧情是垃圾以外，我又看到了被近代导演用了再用的一个表现手法---美化的中国武术。

自从李安以《卧虎藏龙》打入好莱坞，赢得了奥斯卡金像奖以后，许多中国大陆的导演都在效仿。不难看出，高超的武功，轻盈的身法，完全脱离了万有引力在竹林中飞越跳纵是《卧虎藏龙》的一大特点。遗憾的是这种包装连续不断的在《英雄》、《十面埋伏》、《无极》、《七剑》、《夜宴》、《江山美人》、《满城尽带黄金甲》等片子中被采用，而且武打越来越和剧情扯不上关系。这些导演强盗似的行为把一个原本美好的东西给彻底搞臭了。他们的行为跟一些没有道德的商人一样，看见一个商品十分赚钱，就一窝蜂的去卖，结果是可想而知。

影片里还有一点我看不惯的就是士兵们的铠甲。看看《满城尽带黄金甲》、《三国见龙卸甲》，真的不知道那些设计灵感是从哪里来的？只能用恶心两个字来形容。

中国的导演们，你们什么时候能有一点点创意呢？

a bit of DOTA

2008-04-23T15:32:00.009+01:00

After a long abstinence from DOTA, I have picked it up again recently. But it's not really against my promise to quit from the game, as I only played 2 to 3 times after work with my army friends. I have realised that a lot of the heroes and items have changed, but the general game play and feel are still within recognition.

It is a good way to bond as we would shout against each other so loud that all the people at the LAN shop would be looking at us. During breaks and lunch we could have a common topic to discuss, although it is by far not the most popular topic (the most popular is about how f*ck up army life is). Setting the minds against each other to devise a better strategy in this game is a rather interesting thing to do, since it gives us something to look forward to in the week, and breaks the monotone in our life.

more of the bus bastards

2008-04-10T14:26:00.007+01:00

The more often I take the public transport, the more frustrated I get.

I was waiting for bus 168 outside my camp after dismisal with some of the new OJEs. It was roughly 6.05 by the time I reached the bus-stop, but the bus did not come until 6.30. I was quite surprised and angered to find out that the bus was so late during the peak hour? There were at least 20 people waiting at the time. I tried to convince myself that it was just one of the laps in the service, though.

But when the bus screeched to a stop, I despaired. It looked so full that I doubted anyone could squeeze in. Fortunately there was around 10 people who alighted so some of us managed to board. We was about to give up and wait for the next bus when we saw that the back door was still open and there were plenty of space for us. So we rushed onto the bus from the back door. However, when we tapped our card, an error sound occurred, and presumably it was because the system could not register an entry from the rear. Just as we were thinking of how to solve this problem, the bus caption shouted something which we didn't hear clearly. But suddenly all the eyes of the other passengers were on us. We wondered what the bus driver said, but after about 3 seconds of near complete silence and the bus not moving at all, we realised that he meant for us to get down.

After we have alighted, I was literally boiling with anger. There was obviously enough space for many more people, yet the passengers didn't even show the slightest effort to allow more people to get on. There was other ways for us to scan our card, such as passing them to the people in front, and yet the bus driver chased us down. I remembered there was once the bus caption altered the system in such a way that the card can be tapped from the rear door.

Who are the real bastards? The bus caption, or the passengers?

Tibet and Taiwan

2008-04-03T13:37:00.023+01:00

In the past few weeks these two places have been featured prominently in the news. One was having demonstrations and voicing their unhappiness, and another was choosing their new president and possibly setting the course of the regions for the years to come. However, Tibet and Taiwan share many similarities. Both are territory claimed by PRC, and both are trying to gain as much autonomy as possible (although Taiwan is a de facto independence).

Touching on such issues can be tricky, as it involves nationalism and ethnic values, which can bring about sentiments which give rise to bias in one’s judgment. It will further anger lots of people who disagree with my point of view. As a Chinese, I would like to see Mainland China, Taiwan and Tibet all united. However, as a non-communist, I do not wish to see these two regions to be under the iron fist of Beijing. Just look at the way they crack down the Tiananmen protest, treat the activists and Falungong, the way they cover up coal minefield accidents, food poisoning incidents, how the officials embezzle state funds and how they pollute the environment.

Tibet has a pristine landscape without much pollution. With their spiritual leader the Dalai Lama forced into exile, the Han majority has invaded the Tibetan culture and environment. The people lead a suppressed life, without the freedom of religion and free speech, and unable to live their ways of life.

Taiwan, on the other hand, is as good as independent. They elect their own leaders, parliaments, build their own defense, all they lack is a seat in the UN. With Ma elected as the new president, economic, cultural and political ties with Beijing are expected to improve. One thing that makes me laugh is the way China media report on the Taiwan election. Instead of saying “Ma is elected the President of Taiwan”, they say “Ma is elected as the leader for the region of Taiwan”.

That's a smash man!

2008-03-28T13:46:00.009Z

Today I went to play table tennis after work. Steve last minute pulled out because of army engagement. Nevertheless, Loo, Xian Cong, Anthony and I had quite a fun and exhausting experience. I can't remember the last time I sweated out so much beside running. Especially when playing with Loo, his smashes made me so tired as I had to coordinate all my arm and eyes with such a concentration. The sound of the ping pong balls hitting against the table and the pad was crispy and addictive. Reminded me so much of my days in China when I played the game. The spin, the smash and the chop. Just can't wait to play again!

The Acid3 Test

2008-03-21T02:53:00.011Z

Since my last post about the Acid2 test, more browsers have passed it. The fame of the test has made more browsers to complying with web standards. So not so long ago, the Acid3 Test was released to give all the developers another challenge. This test focuses more on DOM and Javascript, and currently no browsers pass the test. With IE8, FireFox 3 and Opera 9.5 all in active development, we have something to look forward to later this year. For now, I take the stable releases of each browser to see how they fare.

FireFox 2.0.0.12

Internet Explorer 7.0.5730.13

Opera 9.26

Safari 3.1

读《楚留香》有感

2008-03-20T13:16:00.004Z

家长最怕孩子做什么？除了极端性质的乱交损友、抽烟、喝酒、吸毒等等，恐怕就是怕他们打电子游戏和看武侠小说了。原因我不说大家也都知道，这些东西一沾就上瘾。只要看过武侠小说的就一定不会否认它的魅力。故事情节引人入胜且包罗万象，它讲述不只是单单讲述精彩的招术和侠义豪情，也注重于人间的情与爱，不可捉摸的人心，反映世俗的偏见。

楚留香是一个很奇特的人物，在很早就名扬天下。他与胡铁花，姬冰雁一起，被称为“雁蝶为双翼，花香满人间”。除了他俩之外，他的朋友还有以杀人为职业的中原一点红，掷杯山庄庄主左轻侯，以及快网张三。往往在每个故事的结局他都先敌后友，结交更多的朋友。他有一艘自己的船，而且船上有三个红颜知己: 精于易容的苏蓉蓉，博闻强记的李红袖，还有妙手烹饪的宋甜儿。楚留香一生中也有许多别的女子。《大沙漠》里有琵琶公主和女扮男妆的黑珍珠；在《借尸还魂》里有石绣云；《蝙蝠传奇》里有责任重大的华真真，没有眼睛的东三娘；《新月传奇》里有新月公主；《桃花传奇》里有张洁洁（他最终的老婆）等等。

我猜楚留香的名字可以被理解为“处留香”，有“风流飘逸处处留香”的意思。不过古龙也挺怪的，男人的名字里有“花”、“香”，女人的名字里有“男”。虽然他在武林被喻为一个神话，头上也带着“香帅”的光环，但他绝不是一个神圣不可侵犯，不食人间烟火的大侠。到处留情，喜欢摸鼻子，更喜欢和胡铁花喝酒，这些特征让我觉得他更像一个常人，虽然他的功夫和本事是我们可望而不可即的。古龙常常说，楚留香不是属于任何一个人的，他作为盗贼们的元帅，常常劫富济贫来助人，当然也几乎每次都得到了女主角的芳心。虽说他十分有女人缘，但绝不重色轻友，每次都舍命去救他的好友，这一点可以从他教的朋友可以看出来。

有人说朱自清的散文写得很美，但跟古龙比起来就显得很俗气。他以诗词的优雅来描写一个场景，去刻画一个人的性格，词句却能摆脱格式的束缚。尤其是在对于一些女主角的描写，有些接近色情小说，让读者有种身临其境的感觉。也可能古大侠就是在讲述一些真理，因为真理往往是“赤裸裸”的。相对来说，武打场面站的篇幅就比较小，一些决斗被他几笔就轻描淡写的代过去了，侧重点则是在人们心理和外在环境。就好比他通过怒视、杀气、落叶、和尘土飞扬等来凝造气氛并渲染武打的激烈。

one night's off

2008-03-17T13:41:00.008Z

During my driving course, one of my course mates asked me this question.

The situation is set in the army. Group A and B will be having night training on Monday and Tuesday respectively. The group not having night training will go for off in the night. That is to say, Group A would go for night training on Monday while Group B goes for their off. On Tuesday, it would be the other way around.

Monday passed as planned. However, in the morning the next day, it was announced by the higher authority that the night training on Tuesday has been cancelled. As a result, although Group B has gone for one night’s off on Monday, both groups are eligible for “off” that night.

And now the question comes, if you are from group A, do you mind group B going again? Assume that there are no other chances to compensate group A, and the opinion of group A can affect the decision by the commander, what is your choice?

My immediate answer was “of course only Group A deserves to go”. This is fair. Yes, definitely, from the point of fairness and equality, or in the view of the commander, only Group A should go.

However, he asked me back, “Does group A lose anything?” And he told me that he doesn’t mind group B going together with them. His argument was that the total amount of “off” created was increased, although it was not enjoyed by A. A does not stand to lose anything in reality; they only lost something relative to B.

This question was in my mind until now. Sometimes I would think about it and try to see it from different perspectives. It is either to ensure equality or to create more “wealth”, even if the benefits are not equally shared. I believe this kind of problem was well discussed in some field of social science, and if you happen to know it, can you please enlighten me?

In my opinion, the biggest problem is that the award is small---one night’s off. What if the award is one week’s offs. Will my friend still be generous enough to bear such inequality? Probably not. But of course, how can you get one week’s offs for one night training? And the argument goes on…

ICT

2008-03-14T13:57:00.005Z

I was attached to the reservists during their in-camp training for the past 2 weeks. The highlight was the exclusive 3 days 2 nights “free and easy” Sim Pang tour.

I was together with all my buddies in the maintenance section, but unexpectedly, I was attached out to another coy to be the driver of their 2IC. It rained cats and dogs for the 3 days, and when I was driving, the wiper was not working and the window on my side could not be winded up. I was lucky not to hit anyone. When not driving I was in the Land rover watching the rain, munching biscuits or talking to the reservists. At night it was a fight against the cold and mosquitoes. The mud and rain damped the mood of the entire battalion, but also helped to cancel most of planned activities.

One thing that I am very impressed is the positive attitude of the NSmen. They were surprisingly focused on their jobs, and were a great group to work with.