同仁堂和大宅门

前几天把《大宅门》第一部看完了。第一次看《大宅门》还是去新加坡前，2001年七月份走的时候中央一套还没播放完，然后一直都没补上。这部戏经典就不用多说了，它倒是勾起了我对同仁堂的兴趣，在网上看了不少相关的历史。无巧不成书，波士顿华埠有一家中医药店南北行，跟纽约同仁堂分店是同一个老板。药店挂着长长的扁，上面有这么一首诗。


法自天成
扁鵲神醫
華佗妙手
千金濟世
本草源芳
經絡針灸
丸散膏丹
承傳有序
博大精深
康熙八年
同仁始創
供奉御葯
普惠眾生
炮製雖繁
不吝人工
品味雖貴
不惜物力
滄桑閱畢
古木回春
改革盛世
再造輝煌
誠信為本
仁德為魂
創新進取
精益求精
國葯振興
蜚聲寰宇
中華文化
萬古流長

Arrow to the knee

"Arrow to the knee" is a phrase made famous by Skyrim back in 2011. It was made into numerous memes, but its usage has faded away. Interestingly, the Chinese game 轩辕剑6 made a reference to it in one of its DLC 浊山铸篇.

"When I was young, I was very handsome and excelled in martial arts..."

"But the first time I went to a battle, I took an arrow to the knee.. I was crippled and my health has been much worse than before."

The Quantum Theory of Life

In Physics, quantum mechanics is a theory that describes the world in atomic scale. It is probabilistic in construction, and claims that everything is non-deterministic with the famous uncertainty principle. To put things more mathematical, this theory uses wavefunction to describe the wave particle duality behaviour of matter and energy. Any wavefunction can be written in terms of a linear combination of basis state, which resides in the Hilbert space. The modulus square of the coefficients give the probability of that state, and they are normalized. When a measurement is made, the eigenvalue of one state will be observed. I shall not go on to the collapse of the wave-function interpretation as they are highly debatable.

Now if we want to define our life, we can think of it in terms of defining a wavefunction, in a very similar way that we define the state of matter. For example, the languages we speak can form a basis state, with the coefficient representing how well we speak that language. In my case, it can be approximated easily as (using Dirac notation for wavefunctions) |Yun> = 1/sqrt(2) |Chinese> + 1/sqrt(2) |English> . However, this is approximation, as I know a few words of Japanese and German, but they definitely don't count as the coefficient would have at least 20 zeros after the decimal point.

Another interesting basis set we can use is the countries we have stayed in. In this highly globalized world, more and more people are born in one place, raised in another, and working or studying in a third country. Maybe for some none of these are their ethnic native country. Quantum theory somehow can sort of model this highly dynamics society.

So what is your wavefunction?

Be strong, Japan

The images are shocking. Entire villages are destroyed, totally annihilated from the map. Cars float on water, as if they are toys. The saddest of all are those of the people affected. They have lost everything, maybe some of their loved ones. Their current and future are uncertain.

BUT it is Japan we are talking about here. They are the 3rd largest economy in the world, their buildings are designed to withstand strong Earthquakes, and their people are civilized and prepared for such disasters. If I were to name a country that can recover the quickest from a such a natural catastrophe, it would be Japan without a doubt. The problem is, it is not one, but 3 disasters, that struck almost immediately after the other. The earthquake was strong, but happened offshore, and most buildings were intact. Then there is the tsunami. I don't think any man-made structure can withstand a wave of 10m. And worst of all, all these are followed by the possible nuclear fallout from the power station. The nuclear part of the problem is still a ongoing battle. I wish all the best to the team behind it and you guys are heroes.

There might be some media hype about the radiation level. Rumors are rife that Japanese products are no longer safe, and there have been comparison of this with other nuclear accident. Certainly we cannot dismiss anything to do with a nuclear reaction as a "small thing", but we need to remain in perspective. Risk communication is vital during such crisis to prevent any unnecessary stress and irrational behaviour.

It is a test of unity and resolve. I sincerely hope that everything will be under control soon, and effort to be focused on rebuilding the affected areas, and offer support to the victims. The world is behind you Japan.

It is also very unfortunate that the Pembroke international programme is at this time of the year. The university part of it was cancelled, but the high school one will still go on. It can be a very delicate task to approach them at these time. But I hope they are not too affected by the events back home, and can enjoy their time in Cambridge.

Cambridge Diary XI

Pembroke Mile is an annual charity event held by the college. Like the London marathon, it is a day of funfair. Some people compete for the ultimate prize, while most others just turn up in fancy dresses and attempt to finish the race. Distance wise it is not particular challenging, but coming up with a good costume takes quite some preparation, and winning is not easy.

Matt suggested to me this crazy idea of completing the race as wheelbarrow. It sounded really ridiculous. There is no way that as a pair we can do that for a mile, so I turned it down. He then somehow persuaded Mark to do it with him, and started practicing on Saturday morning. They soon figured out it was quite difficult and instead of quitting, they asked me again if we can do it in the group of 3. I went down to try with them, and it wasn't THAT bad, and we sort of figured out some good ways of holding the crawling person. It was quite embarrassing as we inevitably drew some attention from some friends and a lot of tourists who were in college at that time. They really had a good laugh and definitely thought we were nuts. Even the Master saw us, and seemed unconvinced. At that point, we were not totally sure if it was all worthwhile. Naturally we thought of asking people for donation to our cause, which is a rather common thing here in the UK. That was the last persuasion needed, and I was on the team.

Matt put up some suggestive posters around the college. He also physically "pressured" quite a lot of friends to sign up. By the end of the day, we have around 100 pounds worth of pledges, which was pretty impressive for just one day of fund raising. He had done a really good job.

Then came the impossible task of completing the race itself. We started off really slowly, and had to stop much more frequently then we thought we would. The gloves we bought was torn well before the first 300 meters. However, there were some really supportive people with us and they encouraged us and cheered us along. We were really grateful for their support. We also tried different ways of doing it and just took a small distance at a time, and kept on rotating. My arms were hurting really badly almost right from the start, and I didn't know how I managed to continue to be able to doing all the carrying and crawling. A lot of people and small kids were literally laughing at us. The most difficult part of was the not the crawling but the carrying as there is no natural place to hold on to. I am also the weakest among the team and had to reply quite heavily on Matt and Mark, and somehow by sheer determination, craziness, the tolerance of pain and the thought of all the support we have received, we made it back to the College Hall to be received with applauses. And the free brunch was just awesome!

I would really like to thank everyone who has donated, and encouraged us. To be honest we looked really stupid, but I think it was worth it.

I'm off to collect my bike in the pitch now.

Cambridge Diary X

Nothing very interesting is happening in my life. Except I am having a Shadow for these few days, who is following to lectures and practicals. She has been to Cambridge before so things are not new to her. Think she was quite terrified by the 4 hours of lectures and 4 hours of practicals I had on Monday. Oh well. I am terrified myself.

There are some changes to people around me. A few of them got attached, and a few of them are not having too good a health. Wish them the best in everything.

Week 4 is coming to an end. I have now almost completed half of my undergraduate educations. These are the best years I am having, and so sad that days are kind of numbered now.

《劝学篇》

小时候总觉得自己很聪明，算数比班上大部分人都好；一起玩耍的同龄小孩中，象棋我从来没输过，一段时间甚至忘乎所以，以“天才”自称。年十三到了新加坡，令我出乎意料。英语听不懂，课跟不上，与同学无法交流。受了这打击后发奋图强，两年后情况大有好转，不过又开始得意忘形。东林并不是什么顶尖学校，虽然认识到了这个问题，但觉得也不太碍事。升学时出了很多状况，可以说是第二次打击，但这次不太一样。国初里多才多艺的人不在少数，我这井底之蛙突然感到十分无用，为什么别人能这么有效的利用他们的时间？我尽力弥补前几年的无所事事，效果终究有限。到了剑桥，这种自卑心理得到了另一种的升华。我可以说是虚度了二十多年的光阴，一无所成，能力有限是一方面，对事情认识的不够清楚是更大的障碍。

荀子的《劝学篇》有一句话是这么说的

"故不登高山，不知天之高也；不临深谿，不知地之厚也；不闻先王之遗言，不知学问之大也。"

每个人的经历都不同，有时候可能一辈子也没出过自己的村庄，但是却有“秀才不出门尽知天下事”的本领。原因在于他们对事情的好奇与关注，加上对世事和道理的认识，从接触的人中就能得到所有知识。反观现在信息科技这么发达，人们反而什么都不知道了。

每本书都有它的局限性。《劝学篇》鼓励人么好好读书，但在这个时代“万般皆下品，唯有读书高”这种观念已被淘汰。但我们可以从全方面发展的角度来理解它的含义，取得“青。取之于蓝，而青于蓝。”的效果。

The Hungarian bit

Now the Hungarian bit of the story.

I went to Budapest to visit a friend. He is the legendary and elusive Mate. I have him as supervision partner this year for all 3 of my supervisions. Other than making me look incredibly stupid during supervision, he is a very nice person. Very quiet, but great to talk to and very enthusiastic about Physics.

He has kindly agreed to let me stayed in his house, and also offered to pick me up from Keleti train station. However, there was a small drama before we met. I was sleeping during most the train ride. Subconsciously I knew I need to be alert and not miss my stop. So when I suddenly heard Budapest something, I just grabbed my bag and alighted. The place look surprisingly run-down. Mindless graffiti and wall posters are very not European like. Is Budapest so different from Vienna even though they are just two and half hours apart? After wandering about for a while, and not seeing a sign of him, I finally came to realize I'm at the wrong stop. It was Budapest Kelenfold. Oh what a start! Luckily I met a kind soul who spoke perfect English, and he told me the directions to Keleti by other public transport. Finally after 2 more transfers and an hour late, I arrived at Keleti to be warmly received by Mate.

I was first brought to his house. He lives in what looks like a suburb area. It is very peaceful and quiet, and very beautiful with all the snows. His mum was in to receive us. However, she doesn't speak much English, so the initial meeting was kind of awkward. Mate then showed me around the house and my room. It was not a very big place, but very cosy. His room is full of the medals and certificates he won in high school, and there are seriously loads of them. His brother and sister are living upstairs, and strangely they had a kitchen to themselves! As this is the case, I hardly saw two of them during my stay. We then had lunch prepared by her mum, and after a short rest, and went out.

Mate has to be the best tour guide in many ways. He knows the place at the tip of his fingertips. The history, the story and how in some ways he is connected to them. Throughout the 4 days, he showed vast knowledge of Budapest. Honestly, if I am supposed to do it, the only city I can possibly do a half decent job is Cambridge. I seem to have lost touch with Singapore, Shanghai, and my hometown. If there are any serious connection to begin with. Haiz this has set me to some pondering.

After a brief tour of city centre and then Margaret Island, we went back to home early. His mum was preparing a very Hungarian dinner for us. It was some sort of beef stew and was absolutely delicious. This has to be the first time I have eaten in a traditional meal in an European family. We played lots of puzzle and games after dinner. I have never seen so many of them in my life. They were intellectually challenging and interesting.

The rest of the days were pretty similar. There was touring the city with Mate's extraordinary explanations and the quiet evenings of puzzles. I have learned a huge amount about Hungarian history and random facts. It was also a very culturally enriching trip. Very grateful for Mate's family for hosting me and it was a very special trip.

BBC featured a similiar random walk on Wikipedia

BBC featured a similar random walk on Wikipedia. It is definitely more sophisticated.

The article is called Lost in Wikipedia. It is part of a series of programme to celebrate Wikipedia's 10th anniversary.

Tour of Austria-Hungary Empire

Disclaimer: The union of the Austrian Empire and the Kingdom of Hungary back in the 19th century created a united land that spawned a big part of Central Europe. I have not, in this short month, travelled even a fraction of that. I just thought it is a cool name and was not meant to be misleading in any way.

I first landed in Vienna on... I think the 7th December. I can't remember the exact date, but I knew I stayed back after term ended to finish up that bloody report. Had a complicated room arrangement and then went to Zhengjie's place for a night in London. Anyway the reason for me being in Wien is that my uncle is here for a post-doc position, and I am here to see him, have a holiday and save some rent.

Vienna at first reminded me of Lyon. I think continental Europe has similar architecture. It is peaceful, and I could not understand anything just like in Lyon. Before I could begin to explore the city, I tracked the progress of "The Great, Greater and the Greatest" (ie the 3 greats) on Facebook. They happened to be travelling in the region and I met up with them for a day to tour the Schonbrunn palace. It was the first major tourist attraction I went. Other than all the fun and talking the most memorable part was the cold. It was really very cold with temperature around -10 degrees. As it was a Sunday, which has a special significance in Austria. After labouring very hard to locate the restaurant "The Great" was interested, it was closed, just like all the other shops. Luck for us, there was a Vietnamese restaurant open for business nearby. It was such a relief to be indoors. We went in and "Greater" used his Cantonese to help us order food. It was very hilarious in that moment as we were trying to find out exactly what we were getting. It was a super long lunch. When we were done with the main course, we ordered dessert, and then another round of dessert by the "The Greatest". We well achieved our purpose of defrosting and filling our stomach before we left.

Oh well that was a nice day. But for quite a number of days I followed my uncle to Technische Universitat Wien to study. My first few days were embroiled in the bitter struggle to finish the Math Computer Assignment. After that it was the math example sheet, and optics. I was quite alarmed by the amount of things I did not understand in term time. Even now I still have loads of overdue work and a significant chunk of the syllabus to revise. Anyway I became quite familiar of the place after a while. The buildings and facilities are very new, and it is located in the city centre. I got to know one or two persons. I also attended a Masters student's graduate party, and then a Christmas party of the department. It was not easy to talk to anybody as it was firstly very weird and also they speak German. Feuerzangenbowle was the main thing I remembered, as well as a very delicious beef stew.

Another noteworthy thing is the underground system. There are no gantries, so everybody just walk in and out freely. There's a ticketing system but from the look of it much self-discipline is needed. There are people conducting random check though, and I was checked on Christmas day itself. That day I went to the central cemetery Zentralfriedhof. The graves of Mozart, Beethoven, Schubert, Strauss, Brahms and most importantly Boltzmann are there. It was kind of like making a physicist's pilgrimage to visit Botzmann's resting place. It took me quite while to find but I think it was worth it. Luckily I had my tickets.

Vienna's beauty are undeniable. The city centre is full of palace, church, museum, theatre and other places that are just pleasant to look at. The city layout is awesome and everything just seem to fit with each other. The transition of modern and medieval is smooth, especially with the old fashioned tram and subway going around. It was like a old photo with most of it frozen in time and some parts slowly developing using modern technology. With the Danube flowing through it, it is perfect.

However it is such a pity that the cold spell has to arrive so early. From the first day until the end of 2010 I never saw wien without a significant amount of snow. I love snow as it makes everything look so ever pure and angelic. But the love so often are in contention with the welfare of my ears, hands and feet. So I ended up spending a significant amount of time indoors talking with my uncle and aunt. As a (extended) family tradition, the topics is always on China and the academia. It often extends to human nature. Sometimes I wonder why nobody in my family ever studied social science? We could have potentially write many thesis on contemporary Chinese culture and politics from such talks alone. It was great discussing these issues with them, as it made me more aware of how things are done in China, and its various issues.

And of course there are my two lovely cousins. I don't know many adjectives to describe them but they are just adorable. Lele is very eloquent and curious. He always takes his own time to do things though, and doesn't eat much during meal time. This, coupled with his whys can really drive me "mad". He loves Thomas and makes me watch it with him. The one achievement I have over this holiday is that I can recognize most of the tank engines in the series now, having watched none of it previously. I also read stories to him and he likes me to brush teeth together with him. LOL. Songsong is not yet one year old, and he is as chubby as my brother when he was Songsong's age. He has changed significantly during this month, now always be to stand up. There are so many things to say about kids of his age as they are always curious but can't talk.

Overall it has been a great experience coming to Vienna. Very sad to be leaving now. I shall talk about the Hungary bit next time, as this blog post is already quite long.

《大学》

无意中在六大的实验室里翻到了一本关于《大学》的少儿入门书籍，里面有一句话是这么说的。

“知止而后有定，定而后能静，静而后能安，安而后能虑，虑而后能得。”

这句话立刻与我产生了共鸣。不得不承认老祖先们对人生的哲理有了相当系统和深入的理解，几句话就把我昨天想说的东西给包罗概括进去了。人不静下来怎能有所得？如果我们的大脑退化到不能集中精神，何谈虑？

我们这些现代人没有去学习这丰富的宝藏，反而整天追求着无数虚假的东西，同时抱怨着生活多么不美满。就算自己没能力禅悟人生之道，听听这些大思想家的见解应该让我对种种事情有更清楚的认识。

《大学》又曰：“古之欲明明德于天下者，先治其国；欲治其国者，先齐其家；欲齐其家者，先修其身；欲修其身者，先正其心；欲正其心者，先诚其意；欲诚其意者，先致其知，致知在格物。”

要没有知识的话，是会被淘汰的。

Wandering of the Mind

Consider a walk on the Internet.

I went on Wikipedia to look for information on Fresnel half-period zones. It turned out that the page on Fresnel zone is about something completely different. Clicked on "near field" in the See Also section to see what it is about. I was overwhelmed with wordy descriptions. Scrolling down I started reading the "Analysis" section as the paragraph begins with the words "Maxwell's equation". I stumbled upon "Bessel's function", which was mentioned in my notes but not explained. Click and it was pages after pages of mathematics. WOW. Didn't bother to understand any of it. But Bessel's functions are first defined by Daniel Bernoulli? Lots of things seem to be related to him. Have to see what other things he has accomplished. His page is definitely the most friendly so far, with many familiar names and concepts. Since I'm doing fluid mechanics next term, why not check out it, as he made important contributions.

I shall end it here. Potentially I can go on and on, just clicking on links that catch a glimpse of my attention. Similar things occur on the BBC website and more dangerously Facebook. I say dangerous as it is interactive, and high tendency to stay on for much longer.

A simple "random walk" like this costs me at least half hour before I even realize I am walking. I will continue walking even after that, as it is so addictive. The feeling to getting a reply with a simple click is just enormous. Ever since English was no longer a barrier, I have been just browsing through pages and pages on the Internet. The amount of information I come across also increased, as I begin to get interested in more and more topics. To cope I begin to skimming through the text faster and faster. It has developed into such a daily routine thing that I think my brain has been wired to just skim through things. It's a daily caffeine dosage that it cannot miss. After receiving training in this area, it seems to have lost its function to stay focused on a single article or topic. Now this is a problem.

I can't seem to focus on a very long article or commentary on the newspaper. I find it very hard to read my lecture handout slowly enough to understand the previous sentence before moving on. In less than 30 minutes into any lecture, my mind will wander away. These are all the signs of restlessness. I cannot foresee this problem going away easily, just like addiction.

Internet has brought the world to the computer screen. Everything is just a click away. However, is it going to make us evolve in the reverse way? Has the brain become too used to accepting answers with a click, that it has slowly lost its function to think and analyze?

走一洼又一洼

这是我小时候后爸爸经常给我唱的一首曲子。它可以说是豫剧，也可以说是哄小孩子的摇篮曲。这几天想找出来听听，不过惊奇地发现包罗万象的互联网上竟然没有完整的收录，这文化遗产竟然静悄悄的在我们身边消失！根据我的记忆，和网上收集来的资料，我先大概写下来些，以作收藏。过几天还得请教请教老爸，尝试完整的把它写下来。
更新：跟爸爸通了话，整首曲子都搞到手了。不过有些方言的词汇在汉字里找不到，只能先用拼音代替。
再更新：在网上花了些时间把方言的发音都找到了。大功告成！
走一洼又一洼，洼洼地里好庄稼。
高的是秫秫，低的是棉花，不低不高是芝麻。
芝麻地带大瓜，撤都儿（光肚）小孩去偷瓜。
明光大道他不走，顺着墒沟往里爬。
圪针扎着不老盖（膝盖）, 不敢哭了他呲呲牙。
到那儿大的他抱不动，把那儿小的抱两仨。
抱到那柳荫树底下， 他指甲掐锤头打，打开了里面是黑籽红瓤满堂沙。

Cambridge Diary XI

As said earlier I'll be talking about being a parent. College and CUMSA parent of course. No matter how you look at it, this is a hugely interesting topic. I'll try to put everything clearly through without mentioning too many names.

I had parents of my own to begin with. CUMSA parents were sources of answer to my queries before I arrived. They also provided great support especially at the start of the term. Still remember the nice good Yongsheng always cooked last year. There were not much family gathering in any sense, and I would primarily attribute it to the dysfunctional family make up.

College families were a bit different. I have a grand total of 5 parents, 1 dad and 4 mums. That's definitely an super-alpha male here. Anyway, they are absolutely amazing people. A good bunch of friends, and are very caring to us. Sometimes I feel sorry for them because we as kids never clicked. One of us was outgoing and had great conversations with them. Another one was cool. Then there was another international student like me. Both of us are very shy to begin with and were by default limited in conversation topics. We tried some form of gathering other than the compulsory first two sessions, but they never worked out great. I still managed to see a great deal of them at Stokes talks, but nothing else interesting happened.

I'm not sure how typical our family was. From talking to other people the some really happening things occur in college families. Some kids seem to get along with their parents really well. There were not enough data to do any serious analysis, but I have to admit I was disappointed. The initial cultural and academic shock have put some irreversible damage to my social interactions. The effects are still reverberating up till now.

Now back to the main point of being a parent. We as the college parents are a group of close friends. Half were from my old CC corridor. And as per norm I have a very big college family, with six parents and five kids. We made sure it is a science only family with only Medic, Natsci, Compsci and Engineers. This was done to prevent possible estrangement in the family, or any split that would occur along the subject line.

We have some of the most amazing kids. They are nice to talk to, and great to mingle with. There are nobody who feel very left out or extremely quiet. First faimly night was great with great conversations. Then there was Much Ado About Nothing. Family formal followed by the Life, which was only the second time I went to clubbing in Cambridge. I have to admit it was rather fun. One of the dad was always busy, but he always provided us with all the outing ideas. The family ended the term in a high when we went to watch The Freshers Pantomine at the ADC. It was a great performance and better still to leave the memory with the family. The kids were so sweat that they bought us wine on that day. But the sad reality is that I'm not the person who can strike a conversation easily, and with the all persistent East-West cultural boundary I'm not very close to any of them. I still feel contented, but will try to do more.

The advantage of a big family is that there is a higher chance to get along with at least one person. The disadvantage is that, it's too big. Yes now i'll talk about the small CUMSA family. I only has one kid, and thus one wife, but at least this time the family had a proper gender ratio. I would have to say that my daughter and her mum are very similiar in many aspects. Both are very outgoing and sociable, and crazy to a certain extent. In fact, the daughter was doing so well in social life that I think she didn't really need a family to help her along. Don't get me wrong, She is very nice person and great to have conversations. But just that didn't "inhereit" much of my genes. The strange thing is that I didn't get to see my CUMSA family that much. Still to have some Singaporeans/Malaysians in college was great.

College family are most active during Michaelmas term. Its function will decay rapidly and approach zero after that. Nonetheless I hope there will be more family gathering, who won't?

Physics or Mathematics?

In recent weeks, this thought has been bothering. Have I made the correct decision to study Physics? Or should I have done Mathematics?
Let the story begin in JC. I came across many articles on the development of nano technology. It was a very interesting field with the carbon nanotube and graphene. In addition, fundamental particles were fascinating, and there had been many talks on physics. My inclination was thus pulled towards studying a "Science" subject. Then I graduated and needed to choose something a major. I was pondering between 3 subjects: Mathematics, Physics and Materials Science/ Engineering.
Why I decided against Matierials

• When I applied for NUS, I was not decided between Physics and Materials. Mathematics simply wasn't on my mind at that time. In Singapore, science and maths in general are thought to be for those people who can't get into engineering, and are regarded as lower in status. Business was the hot subject in this "realistic and pragmatic" society. But no matter how small the perturbation is, the effect can be huge when applied continuously on a timescale of years.
• I went for the open house in NUS, and attended some talks on material science. It immediately put me off as there are so much engineering terms such as Young's modulus, toughness and technology transfer.
• I didn't give up Materials totally. I did my pre-departure attachment at IMRE and took Materials Science in Part 1A NST. Both further confirmed that material science is not for me.

The road to Physics

• When I applied to Cambridge, I set my mind to do physics. I was greatly influenced by Dax with whom we were working on a small project at that time. Googling "physics + cambridge" directed me straight to the Cavendish website and subsequently the Natural Science Tripos website. Thus I applied for Natural Sciences.
• On choosing the colleges I read up quite a good deal on Cambridge. Mathematics Tripos featured prominently, boasting a range of famous scientists and mathematicians. I kind of regretted not applying for it, but then it occurred to me probably it is much harder to get in, and considering admission was all important, I was happy with my choice.
• On retrospect, some other factors indirectly pulled me away from Math. I was in SIMO, and never made much progress. This made me realize how difficult math can be and I wasn't really good at it.
• My dad, who is a mathematician, was spending a big proportion of his time in China and not with me, so that source of influence was absent.
• Was applying for astar, and thought Physics would be more "useful" and easier to get the scholarship.

The discovery of mathematics

• The first year physics and mathematics in NST 1A certainly didn't appeal to me. They were tedious and boring. The Mathematics Tripos seemed vastly more interesting.
• At this point I realized I could have pursued Physics under the Mathematics Tripos. This was hugely upsetting as clearly my research earlier on wasn't comprehensive enough. I was too obsessed with searching on tips to get admitted rather than going for a thorough research on the courses.
• Summer internship at DSI was the biggest eye opener. Mathematics had never occurred to me to be so important. Many of the advanced topics in Physics required many branches of mathematics that were not taught in NST.

The point of my internal struggle has been that I closed the door on Mathematics too early by choosing to study NST. I would have made much better judgment if I have gone through the mathematics Tripos. The situation would also have been easily resolved under the American liberal art education system.
It is too late to do anything. Physics may turn out to be alright, but I would have never known if I was better at pure mathematics. This is very close to what I would be doing anyway had I known better. Physics and Mathematics are not hugely different in irreconcilable ways. It will serve as a huge learning point though.

Cambridge Diary X

Somehow I only managed to pen 9 entries about my life in Cambridge last year. One year of undergraduate studies in an 800-years-old institution surely worth much more than that.

The workload may be a valid excuses. However, there are plenty of periods that I didn't do anything meaningful. Just sitting there mindlessly browsing the net or wandering from kitchen to toilet and my room.

I didn't upload any photos either. Any person reading this must be really bored. The blog probably stayed too true to its name; just writes. I am just too lazy to upload photos that were already uploaded onto facebook.

So much for the diversion. Anyway this year I'm living in an very old room in D staircase. It has sort of 2 parts: one for sleeping and one is sort of a living room (but no sofa). Size-wise I am very satisfied. It also has a slanted roof, and combined with its old age, can more or less give me some inspirations. Facilities wise it was horrible compared to last year. The gym room is small, toilet doesn't have a sink, and the bathroom literally just has one bath tub. For shower I need to go down all the way to the first floor. Good thing that on the staircase there are Daniel and Yongsheng so things are much easier and more convenient in a lot of ways.

On the work front, Monday, Wednesday and Friday are completely packed. After heeding advices from Dr Keeling and Guanghao I had chosen practicals to be on two separate afternoons. This would allow me the weekend to think through the experiments, but at the same time means traveling to Cavendish twice a week. This journey so far has been quite enjoyable in some sense as Pembroke physicists cycle together there. My supervisors are much better than last year. They know their stuff and are quite easy to talk to. However I need to prepare much more than just the supervision work and I have not been doing that.

Will probably leave it now as my eyes are trying too hard to stay open. Will talk about being a "parent" and other happenings.

Isn't this what you want?

This has been a hot topic in China for many years. Given its population, total economic power, and rich history, shouldn't at least one Chinese have won the Nobel Prize. Technically there are. Quite a number of ethnic Chinese have won the award, especially in the sciences, but none of them were citizens of the People's Republic of China at the time of award. If we use proportions, 1/5 of the prize should have gone to Chinese. This is clearly not the case as well.
It can be quite an embarrassment to certain people, and some are puzzled. Go to any bookstores in China and you're bound to find books explaining the current situation. Titles such as "we will win the Nobel Prize in a certain number of years sells pretty too. The entire country seems quite obsessed with this. To them, winning Olympic (Olympiad) medals and Nobel prizes are signs of a stronger nation. To me, this is just silly. A country or people's achievement can't be measured using such parameters, not evenly remotely.

Now the irony comes. Liu Xiaobo was awarded the Nobel peace prize! He is a proper Han Chinese (unlike the 14th Dalai Lama) whose citizenship is not disputed. The country should have been immersed in jubilant celebrations marking this historic moment. However, such a heroic achievement to the Chinese people was absent from all news channel in China. People don't hear a thing about this (as was the case with Dalai Lama). This just shows the level of censorship in Mainland. I feel sad for the nation and sad for the people. Clearly the communist party is set to continue its policy on human rights and rule of law. Any attempts to induce changes were met with "you're meddling with my internal affair". The crackdown on such reform-minded people can only increase as it feels more threatened than ever. The change will come someday, one way or another, yet the struggle ahead for Liu and his friends will be long and hard.

Cambridge Diary IX

May Week! :)

I have never seen a period of havoc like this before. The motto is “Party and alcohol”. Drunkenness is the new cool and sanity is a taboo. Seeing such things going around myself inevitably pulled me towards such craziness.

No I didn’t get drunk, or do anything stupid. The highest point reached is tipsy. I Played croquet for the first time (not while tipsy). This gentlemen sports is not so gentlemen after all, as we are supposed to sabotage each other. Friendship can be really tested here. There are the meetings with fellow Singaporean friends, some of whom I haven’t seen for such a long time due to my self imposed seclusion.

While “abandoned” by many of my friends who went travelling around the UK, I am “stuck” to find things to entertain myself. There are garden parties, sports and just random fun. Each has its own function during different time of the day.  The most fun of them is to play bridge with Paraic, Eunice, Andrew and Lizzie. While bridge is not new to me after playing for 4 to 5 years, it is different when the people change. The lack of seriousness and experience  makes each game very hilarious. Such activities dominate my May Week time, other than a short trip to Nottingham and Birmingham. The trip is decent but somehow I missed Cambridge during it, the kind of feeling you get when you miss home.

I wonder what is life for? We study hard and then play hard. We drink, we dance. “Some dance to remember, some dance to forget”. What do I do that for? Have I past that age that you can get truly crazy and let go of all the troubles at once. Or is it my inbuilt character? I just can’t do it.

There was a trip to Gardies with Paraic that would make me remember it. The behavior of that girl was truly disgusting. For a free burger she was willing to exchange herself in such a degrading way. While there was some salvage to my impression with Cambridge University on realizing she was a local, I most likely wont go back there again.

Cambridge Diary VIII

Can’t think of a single word to describe this month. So much happened that all other months pale in comparison.

First is the all important Tripos. So overwhelming was it that basically I never stepped out of my room except for toilet and food. I deactivated Facebook. While the intention was to get me focused, other distractions such as games and Youtube proved more potent. The revision went alright nevertheless, until the exam started. Between each paper I didn’t do any revision, thinking that last minute study may make me nervous. The end result was that I forgot some basic information that could have helped me scored much more in Chemistry and Materials. Physics and Maths were not affected much. The result would be out on 25th this month, and I hope for the best. And judging by how the exam went, I will definitely be doing Physics and Maths next year.

Just as a reflection, next year I would definitely not lock myself up like this year. Studying together, at least for a few days a week would be really helpful. And studying in the library, as it would make me focused. My thinking just before the exam was right, but I should have taken the opportunity to rest my brain, instead of listening to music and surfing the Internet.

The end of exam was a a sweet moment. Some friends came to cheering for us in front of the entrance at the last day. Suddenly the realization that there are no more exams or supervision to worry about. The academic life as a fresher has ended.

There were so many people celebrating at that day as most of the NatSci finished on that day. Champagnes were popped everywhere and alcohol was downed like water. Although I disapprove alcohol consumption in general, this was perfectly understandable. Get drunk people, you deserved it!

Cambridge Diary VII

The glorious weather!

Never seen so many sunny days in a row in Cambridge before! People are taking the opportunity to enjoy the sun on the lawn; be it a book, a friend or by oneself. This is certainly the most cheerful time of the year. Went punting again, and this time but this time the feeling is really different. The weather and people makes all the difference. Will play tennis soon, otherwise it is no justice for the hard work the sun has put in.

These few days are not too great though, with temperature dipping into the regions of 5 degrees Celsius. Nevertheless, still expecting more days with the sun out.

I came back to Cambridge before the volcano ash. A few friends were stuck until term has started. I bet if there’s a survey on what people think of each country right now, Iceland will come bottom of the list. I didn’t accomplish even close to a third of what I planned to study during the holiday. Most of the time was spent watching movies, and talking and sleeping.

Now the pressure came and that’s why I fell sick. Sore throat and cough and sneezing. Luckily this time the cold didn’t bring me down to fever. I think this blog will cease to be updated until late June.

Looking at it, the gap between this post and the last was not much shorter. Where did my April go?