Monday 7 December 2009

再别康桥


马蹄踏过石板街道
窄巷深处有人祷告
雨后水洼教堂倾倒
意识流的四十度角

图书馆前站着半座石雕
六个便士带走一副素描
壁炉终日孤独吐着火苗
煤油灯下岁月不被惊扰

你在剑桥一身寂寞穿黑色学袍
你用诗句歌唱爱情押美丽韵脚
一船星辉见证那个古典的拥抱
那片水草还在怀念你撑的长蒿

你在剑桥半生寂寞穿中国长袍
你用诗句告别爱情押绝望韵脚
谁的衣袖带走那片云彩的来到
离别笙萧那样沉默像一种凭吊

红砖墙壁紫藤缠绕
垂柳摇醒两岸拂晓
怀旧风琴失传民谣
中世纪就开始苍老

广场鸽子仰望天空思考
歌特尖塔勾勒末世线条
故事流过落日的叹息桥
诗人的爱还在唱咏叹调

你在剑桥一身寂寞穿黑色学袍
你用诗句歌唱爱情押美丽韵脚
一船星辉见证那个古典的拥抱
那片水草还在怀念你撑的长蒿

你在剑桥半生寂寞穿中国长袍
你用诗句告别爱情押绝望韵脚
谁的衣袖带走那片云彩的来到
离别笙萧那样沉默像一种凭吊

你在剑桥一身寂寞穿黑色学袍
你用诗句歌唱爱情押美丽韵脚
一船星辉见证那个古典的拥抱
那片水草还在怀念你撑的长蒿

你在剑桥半生寂寞穿中国长袍
你用诗句告别爱情押绝望韵脚
谁的衣袖带走那片云彩的来到
离别笙萧那样沉默像一种凭吊

Sunday 6 December 2009

再别康桥(转载)

徐志摩

轻轻的我走了,
正如我轻轻的来;
我轻轻的招手,
作别西天的云彩。
那河畔的金柳,
是夕阳中的新娘,
波光里的艳影,
在我的心头荡漾。
软泥上的青荇,
油油的在水底招摇;
在康河的柔波里,
我甘心做一条水草!
那榆阴下的一潭,
不是清泉,是天上虹;
揉碎在浮藻间,
沉淀着彩虹似的梦。
寻梦?撑一支长篙,
向青草更青处漫溯,
满载一船星辉,
在星辉斑斓里放歌。
但我不能放歌,
悄悄是别离的笙箫;
夏虫也为我沉默,
沉默是今晚的康桥!
悄悄的我走了,
正如我悄悄的来;
我挥一挥衣袖,
不带走一片云彩。
正如我轻轻的来;
我轻轻的招手,
作别西天的云彩。
那河畔的金柳,
是夕阳中的新娘,
波光里的艳影,
在我的心头荡漾。
软泥上的青荇,
油油的在水底招摇;
在康河的柔波里,
我甘心做一条水草!
那榆阴下的一潭,
不是清泉,是天上虹;
揉碎在浮藻间,
沉淀着彩虹似的梦。
寻梦?撑一支长篙,
向青草更青处漫溯,
满载一船星辉,
在星辉斑斓里放歌。
但我不能放歌,
悄悄是别离的笙箫;
夏虫也为我沉默,
沉默是今晚的康桥!
悄悄的我走了,
正如我悄悄的来;
我挥一挥衣袖,
不带走一片云彩。

Thursday 26 November 2009

Cambridge Diary IV

Now the true reason for not updating the blog. It is WORK! As a Natsci, there are 12 lectures (14 for the last 3 weeks), 4 supervisions and 3 sessions of practical in a week. These add up to more than 25 hours. Doesn’t sound a lot? Of course because they do not take into account the amount of time I take to understand the lecture notes, read up textbooks and doing the supervision questions. Worst of all I have Saturday lectures! That basically ruins half of my weekend and I only get 1 night of decent sleep. Definition of decent sleep: sleep until I am awake.

That is not the whole story. As all Natsci have to take 4 subjects in the first year, I was undecided between Materials and Compsci. Months at IMRE did not give me any motivation for Materials, but I have not done any programming before. As the decision time came, I just thought about giving Compsci a try. It turned out to be a disastrous decision. The lectures made sense, notes are not hard to understand, the first two practicals are deceivingly simple. BUT, it’s a big but here. I have no idea how to do the questions. Not even the faintest idea. And there is the scary logic part. If something then one thing otherwise something else. As you can see, clearly my logic is not there. If this is not worrying enough, there is another even more worrying fact. Almost everyone taking Compsci has prior programming knowledge. Lots of people say it doesn’t matter but I seriously doubt so. Using my weakness against others’ strength is no joke, especially smart people. I could still have gone for it. But remember there is Astar sitting on top of everything.

My decision was to switch. That included arranging meeting with my DoS and persuading him. This thing really stressed me for about 1 week, as he thought I was making a rash decision. In the end after my switch was final, I was left in another mess. I am two weeks behind the materials work. Just like a peddle dropped into the water, this event has far reaching effect on other subjects and I was doing catching up for another 1 to 2 weeks.

Now that the term is ending, I am positive that the switch is a good decision. I am learning interesting topics just as magnetism and x-ray diffraction. To be honest, I don’t understand quite a lot still, but just like other subjects, I will be spending a good proportion of holiday revising and consolidating. A good holiday plan?

Wednesday 25 November 2009

Cambridge Diary III

What is the social life like in Cambridge? One word to describe them all---“booze”. Probably it explains a bit why I was not updating regularly. (No I will touch on the true reason maybe in the next entry).

Pub crawl is the first heavy drinking game that I participated in the Freshers’ Week. As the name suggests, we just go to pubs after pubs on the same night. Drinking games are played and most of them involved “downing” your drink. It is scary in many different ways. Firstly I am shocked at the sheer volume and the need to finish it pretty much in one breath. Also the shock increased exponentially when I saw how effortlessly the others can do it. It seems I’m in a fictional land where the God of alcohol has come alive. Anyway back to reality. I had to settle for coke and plain water half of the time, just to stay sane. As we progressed, more people had gotten drunk, and they just started doing strange things like cramming into the phone booth and climbing lamp post. Seriously I think it is not fun either as a by stander or the main “protagonist”.

Then there’s drinking in everyday life. Party is taking place at a friend’s room, and everyone is enjoying themselves with alcohol. There are also various drinking games such as ring of fire, that can be played perfectly fine without any booze but somehow have to involve them. No alcohol equals no fun. However, there is an absolutely a personal choice whether to drink or not.

The most famous part of drinking in Cambridge has to be “pennying”. Wikipedia actually has an entry on it. The rules may not make much sense, but it can be summarized in a few sentences. In a formal hall or drinking game, if a penny is dropped into a glass of drink, the owner has to down the glass to “save the queen”. She is drowning! Other rules such as back penny, double penny or catching the penny in the teeth are just additional clauses to prevent mayhem. Just like the architecture and gowns and formals, this game is a hallmark of Cambridge. It is somewhat banned in my college formals but nobody really cares. It really got me really giddy a few times, and I have definitely consumed more alcohol within the first few weeks here than my entire life.

Monday 2 November 2009

About Natsci

Chemistry has been fascinating;

Materials and Mineral Science interesting and overloaded with information;

Mathematics difficult and boring;

Physics uninspiring.

Saturday 10 October 2009

Cambridge Diary II

I announce that I am now a member of Pembroke College, for life. That's according to the Master at least.

There is no point talking about undergraduate studies in Cambridge without mentioning my college. Most people I guess would end up feeling much more attached to their colleges than the university itself. The strength of the education is amplified here. The forging of bonds can take place easily here within the small community. Knowledge are passed down in the unique fashion of supervision. Of course what everyone makes out of these varies greatly, but the platform is there for everyone.

The architecture in Pembroke is breathtaking. It doesn't have the grandeur of King's or the enormity of St John's. But the layout makes me feel like home, as compared to living in a vast castle, which would be intimidating. Gardens are neat, and the lawn on the courts on so neatly maintained that not even a stray leaf can be found. The bright colours of green and red are especially soothing to see in autumn. The age of the college also give rises the other “abnormality”.Most of the staircases would crack and crick when I walk on them, and there are portraits of Masters hanging on the walls in the Hall. And I get to hear jokes about C and rumours of other colleges.

The culture here is strange. I bet J K Rowling borrowed heavily from Oxbridge when writing Harry Potter. Gown must be worn during matriculation, and everyone has to pen their names on this giant book that looks like it's centuries old. The pen was also of old style. I was so lucky to write my name in both English and Chinese. And the matriculation photograph looks almost like graduation photograph in some sense, as we were all wearing gowns as well. The formal hall is also very unique, with bells ringing to signal the entrance of the Master, and followed by some words in Latin, before anything is served. In the middle of the meal the same thing would happen again if he wants to leave or make a speech. People may call those “quirks”. But to me, these people are just purely jealous.

Description is incomplete without pictures. Please go the Facebook and see the pictures I have taken. They are not great, but will give a rough idea of what a college is like.

Wednesday 7 October 2009

Cambridge Diary I

Despite the title, it has to start with Singapore. After years of not so pleasant tropical heat, I am going to a place with an even worse reputation in terms of weather. The smog is so bad that the Chinese translate of “Oliver Twist” is 雾都孤儿, which means “orphan in a city of smog”. Actually I don't believe in all these. My 9 months stay in Brighton ten years ago convinced me. It might just be London, or not even London nowadays.

Many people would disagree with me, but I still have to say nonetheless. Weather would not be an obstacle if you want to achieve something. The years of humidity and thunderstorm have made me a tougher and more independent person. It has nurtured me, to appreciate things you have instead of chasing dreams that are never going to come true. On the island that is shaped like a boat, I have chartered a journey with my youth. And somehow ironically I'm sailing away, literally.

I would really like to thank everybody whom I have crossed path with. I may not look like a friendly person, but I am really inside. I may have offended you and have not apologized you, please tell me if you are among them, as seriously I am really bad with such things. There are may be so many other occasions that friction would have occurred, but there seems so little time to amend or repair.

To those people who have come to send me off, I would like to say a big thank you. You have helped me to go the next phase of my life with a lot of confidence. There is still a place for me if I fail or fall back. I am undeterred by the challenges, especially with so much support.

Sunday 13 September 2009

康桥,再会吧(转载)

徐志摩一首关于剑桥的诗

我心头盛满了别离的情绪,
你是我难得的知己,我当年
辞别家乡父母,登太平洋去,
(算来一秋二秋,已过了四度
春秋,浪迹在海外,美土欧洲)
扶桑风色,檀香山芭蕉况味,
平波大海,开拓我心胸神意,
如今都变了梦里的山河,
渺茫明灭,在我灵府的底里;
我母亲临别的泪痕,她弱手
向波轮远去送爱儿的巾色,
海风咸味,海鸟依恋的雅意,
尽是我记忆的珍藏,我每次
摩按,总不免心酸泪落,便想
理箧归家,重向母怀中匐伏,
回复我天伦挚爱的幸福;
我每想人生多少跋涉劳苦,
多少牺牲,都只是枉费无补,
我四载奔波,称名求学,毕竟
在知识道上,采得几茎花草,
在真理山中,爬上几个峰腰,
钧天妙乐,曾否闻得,彩红色,
可仍记得?——但我如何能回答?
我但自喜楼高车快的文明,
不曾将我的心灵污抹,今日
我对此古风古色,桥影藻密,
依然能坦胸相见,惺惺惜别。

康桥,再会吧!
你我相知虽迟,然这一年中
我心灵革命的怒潮,尽冲泻
在你妩媚河身的两岸,此后
清风明月夜,当照见我情热
狂溢的旧痕,尚留草底桥边,
明年燕子归来,当记我幽叹
音节,歌吟声息,缦烂的云纹
霞彩,应反映我的思想情感,
此日撤向天空的恋意诗心,
赞颂穆静腾辉的晚景,清晨
富丽的温柔;听!那和缓的钟声
解释了新秋凉绪,旅人别意,
我精魂腾跃,满想化人音波,
震天彻地,弥盖我爱的康桥,
如慈母之于睡儿,缓抱软吻;
康桥!汝永为我精神依恋之乡!
此去身虽万里,梦魂必常绕
汝左右,任地中海疾风东指,
我亦必纡道西回,瞻望颜色;
归家后我母若问海外交好,
我必首数康桥,在温清冬夜
蜡梅前,再细辨此日相与况味;
设如我星明有福,素愿竟酬,
则来春花香时节,当复西航,
重来此地,再捡起诗针诗线,
绣我理想生命的鲜花,实现
年来梦境缠绵的销魂足迹,
散香柔韵节,增媚河上风流;
故我别意虽深,我愿望亦密,
昨宵明月照林,我已向倾吐
心胸的蕴积,今晨雨色凄清,
小鸟无欢,难道也为是怅别
情深,累藤长草茂,涕泪交零!

康桥!山中有黄金,天上有明星,
人生至宝是情爱交感,即使
山中金尽,天上星散,同情还
永远是宇宙间不尽的黄金,
不昧的明星;赖你和悦宁静
的环境,和圣洁欢乐的光阴,
我心我智,方始经爬梳洗涤,
灵苗随春草怒生,沐日月光辉,
听自然音乐,哺啜古今不朽
——强半汝亲栽育——的文艺精英;
恍登万丈高峰,猛回头惊见
真善美浩瀚的光华,覆翼在
人道蠕动的下界,朗然照出
生命的经纬脉络,血赤金黄,
尽是爱主恋神的辛勤手绩;
康桥!你岂非是我生命的泉源?
你惠我珍品,数不胜数;最难忘
骞士德顿桥下的星磷坝乐,
弹舞殷勤,我常夜半凭阑干,
倾听牧地黑野中倦牛夜嚼,
水草间鱼跃虫嗤,轻挑静寞;
难忘春阳晚照,泼翻一海纯金,
淹没了寺塔钟楼,长垣短堞,
千百家屋顶烟突,白水青田,
难忘茂林中老树纵横;巨干上
黛薄茶青,却教斜刺的朝霞,
抹上些微胭脂春意,忸怩神色;
难忘七月的黄昏,远树凝寂,
象墨泼的山形,衬出轻柔螟色,
密稠稠,七分鹅黄,三分桔绿,
那妙意只可去秋梦边缘捕捉;
难忘榆荫中深宵清啭的诗禽,
一腔情热,教玫瑰噙泪点首,
满天星环舞幽吟,款住远近
浪漫的梦魂,深深迷恋香境;
难忘村里姑娘的腮红颈白;
难忘屏绣康河的垂柳婆娑,
娜娜的克莱亚,硕美的校友居;
——但我如何能尽数,总之此地
人天妙合,虽微如寸芥残垣,
亦不乏纯美精神:流贯其间,
而此精神,正如宛次宛土所谓
“通我血液,浃我心脏,”有“镇驯
矫饬之功”;我此去虽归乡土,
而临行怫怫,转若离家赴远;
康桥!我故里闻此,能弗怨汝
僭爱,然我自有谠言代汝答付;
我今去了,记好明春新杨梅
上市时节,盼望我含笑归来,
再见吧,我爱的康桥。

Wednesday 19 August 2009

IPPT Silver!

Went to Maju Camp to take my first ever IPPT as an NSman yesterday, with Xiaoye. I had not done any serious exercise since June. My aim was to get silver and that 200 dollar that comes with it. Somehow I managed to achieve it, but barely. As usual, my worry was chin up and 2.4, and I just managed to bag 3 points for each of the station. Thanks to the support by Xiaoye, and maybe a little determination on my part. I don't sound excited at all, although it is something worth a small celebration. Let it take place in my mind.

Wednesday 5 August 2009

我所知道的康桥(转载)

如果一切顺利,下个月底要飞到剑桥去读书了,为此特别找了徐志摩的一篇关于剑桥的散文来看看。里面有些词语的翻译跟现在不太一样。

(一)

我这一生的周折,大都寻得出感情的线索。不论别的,单说求学。我到英国是为要从卢梭。卢麦来中国时,我已经在美国。他那不确的死耗传到的时候,我真的出眼泪不够,还做悼诗来了。他没有死,我自然高兴。我摆脱了哥仑比亚大博士衔的引诱,买船票过大两洋, 想跟这位二十世纪的福禄泰尔认真念一点书去。谁知一到英国才知道事情变样了:一为他在战时主张和平,二为他离婚,卢梭叫康桥给除名了,他原来是Trinity College的fellow,这来他的fellowship的也给取消,他回英国后就在伦敦住下,夫妻两人卖文章过日子。因此我也不曾遂我从学的始愿。我在伦敦政治经济学院里混了半年,正感着闷想换路走的时候,我认识了狄更生先生。狄更生——Goldsworthy Lowes Dickinson——是一个有名的作者,他的《一个中国人通信》(Letters from John Chinaman)与《一个现代聚餐谈话》(A Modern Symposium)两本小册子早得了我的景仰。我第一次会着他是在伦敦国际联盟协会席上,那天林宗孟先生演说,他做主席;第二次是宗孟寓里吃茶,有他。以后我常到他家里去。他看出我的烦闷,劝我到康桥去,他自己是王家”学院(King's College)的fellow。我就写信去问两个学院,回信都说学额早满了,随后还是狄更生先生替我去在他的学院里说好了,给我一个特别生的资格,随意选科听讲。从此黑方巾、黑披袍的风光也被我占着了。初起我在离康桥六英里的乡下叫沙士顿地方租了几间小屋住下,同居的有我从前的夫人张幼仪女士与郭虞裳君。每天一早我坐街车(有时自行车)上学,到晚回家。这样的生活过了一个春,但我在康桥还只是个陌生人谁都不认识。康桥的生活,可以说完全不曾尝着,我知道的只是一个图书馆,几个课室,和三两个吃便宜饭的茶食铺子。狄更生常在伦敦或是大陆上,所以也不常见他。那年的秋季我一个人回到康桥整整有一学年,那时我才有机会接近真正的康桥生活,同时我也慢慢的“发见”了康桥。我不曾知道过更大的愉快。

(二)

“单独”是一个耐寻味的现象。我有时想它是任何发见的第一个条件。你要发见你的朋友的“真”,你得有与他单独的机会。你要发见你自己的真,你得给你自己一个单独的机会。你要发见一个(地方地方一样有灵性),你也得有单独玩的机会。我们这一辈子,认真说,能认识几个人?能认识几个地方?我们都是太匆忙,太没有单独的机会。说实话,我连我的本乡都没有什么了解。康桥我要算是有相当交情的,再次许只有新认识的翡冷翠了。啊,那些清晨,那些黄昏,我一个人发痴似的在康桥!绝对的单独。

但一个人要写他最心爱的对象,不论是人是地,是多么使他为难的一个工作?你怕,你怕描坏了它,你怕说过分了恼了它,你怕说太谨慎了辜负了它。我现在想写康桥,也正是这样的心理,我不曾写,我就知道这回是写不好——况且又是临时逼出来的事情。但我却不能不写,上期预告已经出去了。我想勉强分两节写:一是我所知道的康桥的天然景色;一是我所知道的康桥的学生生活。我今晚只能极简的写些,等以后有兴会时再补。

(三)

康桥的灵性全在一条河上;康河,我敢说是全世界最秀丽的一条水。河的名字是葛兰大(Granta),也有叫康河(River Cam)的,许有上下流的区别,我不甚清楚。河身多的是曲折,上游是有名的拜伦潭——“Byron's Pool”——当年拜伦常在那里玩的;有一个老村子叫格兰骞斯德,有一个果子园,你可以躺在累累的桃李荫下吃茶,花果会吊入你的茶杯,小雀子会到你桌上来啄食,那真是别有一番天地。这是上游;下游是从骞斯德顿下去,河面展开,那是春夏间竞舟的场所。上下河分界处有一个坝筑,水流急得很,在星光下听水声,听近村晚钟声,听河畔倦牛刍草声,是我康桥经验中最神秘的上种:大自然的优美、宁静,调谐在这星光与波光的默契中不期然的淹入了你的性灵。

但康河的精华是在它的中权,著名的“Backs”,这两岸是几个最蜚声的学院的建筑。从上面一来是Pembroke, St. Katharine's, King's,Clare, Trinity, St. John's。最令人留连的一节是克莱亚与王家学院的毗连处,克莱亚的秀丽紧邻着王家教堂(King's Chapel)的闳伟。别的地方尽有更美更庄严的建筑,例如巴黎赛因河的罗浮宫一带,威尼斯的利阿尔多大桥的两岸,翡冷翠维基乌大桥的周遭;但康桥的“Backs”自有它的特长,这不容易用一二个状词来概括,它那脱尽尘埃气的一种清澈秀逸的意境可说是超出了画图而化生龙活虎音乐的神味。再没有比这一群建筑更调谐更匀称的了!论画,可比的许只有柯罗(Corot)的田野;论音乐,可比的许只有萧班(Chopin)的夜曲。就这也不能给你依稀的印象,它给你的美感简直是神灵性的一种。

假如你站在王家学院桥边的那棵大桔树荫下眺望,右侧面,隔着一大方浅草坪,是我们的校友居(fellow's building),那年代并不早,但它的妩媚也是不可掩的,它那苍白的石壁上春夏间满缀着艳色的蔷薇在和风中摇颤,更移左是那教堂,森林似的尖阁不可涣的永远直指着天空;更左是克莱亚,啊!那不可信的玲珑的方庭,谁说这不是圣克莱亚(St. Clare)的化身,那一块石上不闪耀着她当年圣洁的精神?在克莱亚后背隐约可辨的是康桥最潢贵最骄纵的三清学院(Trinity),它那临河的图书楼上坐镇着拜伦神采惊人的雕像。

但这时你的注意早已叫克莱亚的三环洞桥魔术似的摄祝你见过西湖白堤上的西泠断桥不是?(可怜它们早已叫代表近代丑恶精神的汽车公司给铲平了,现在它们跟着苍凉的雷峰永远离别了人间。)你忘不了那桥上斑驳的苍苔,木栅的古色,与那桥拱下泄露的湖光与山色不是?克莱亚并没有那样体面的衬托,它也不比庐山楼贤寺旁的观音桥,上瞰五老的奇峰,下临深潭与飞瀑;它只是怯伶伶的一座三环洞的小桥,它那桥洞间也只掩映着细纹的波鳞与婆娑的树影,它那桥上栉比的小穿兰与兰节顶上双双的白石球,也只是村姑子头上不夸张的香草与野花一类的装饰;但你凝神的看着,更凝神的看着,你再反省你的心境,看还有一丝屑的俗念沾滞不?只要你审美的本能不曾汩灭时,这是你的机会实现纯粹美感的神奇!

但你还得选你赏鉴的时辰。英国的天时与气候是走极端的。冬天是荒谬的坏,逢着连绵的雾盲天你一定不迟疑的甘愿进地狱本身去试试;春天(英国是几乎没有夏天的)是更荒谬的可爱,尤其是它那四五月问最渐缓最艳丽的黄昏,那才真是寸寸黄金。在康河边上过一个黄昏是一服灵魂的补剂。啊!我那时蜜甜的单独,那时蜜甜的闲暇。一晚又一晚的,只见我出神似的倚在桥栏上向西天凝望:

看一回凝静的桥影,
数一数螺钿的波纹;
我倚暖了石栏的青苔,
青苔凉透了我的心坎...

还有几句更笨重的怎能仿佛那游丝似轻妙的情景:

难忘七月的黄昏,远树凝寂,
像墨泼的山形,衬出轻柔瞑色,
密稠稠,七分鹅黄,三分橘绿,
那妙意只可去秋梦边缘捕捉,...

(四)

这河身的两岸都是四季常青最葱翠的草坪。从校友居楼上望去,对岸草场上,不论早晚,永远有十数匹黄牛与白马,胫蹄没在恣蔓的草丛中,从容的在咬嚼,星星的黄花在风中动荡,应和着它们尾鬃的扫拂。桥的两端有斜倚的垂柳与桔荫护祝水是彻底的清澄,深不足四尺,匀匀的长着长条的水草。这岸边的草坪又是我的爱宠,在清朝,在傍晚,我常去这天然的织锦上坐地,有时读书,有时看水;有时仰卧着看天空的行去,有时反仆着搂抱大地的温软。

但河上的风流还不止两岸的秀丽,你买船去玩。船不止一种:有普通的双浆划船,有轻快的薄皮舟(canoe),有最别致的长形撑篙船(punt)。最末的一种是别处不常有的:约莫有二丈长,三尺宽,你站直在船梢上用长竿撑着走的。这撑是一种技术。我手脚太蠢,始终不曾学会。你初起手尝试时,容易把船身横住在河中,东颠西撞的狼狈。英国人是不轻易开口笑人的,但是小心他们不出声的绉眉!也不知有多少次河中本来优闲的秩序叫我这莽撞的外行给捣乱了。我真的始终不曾学会;每回我不服输跑去租船再试的时候,有一个白胡子的船家往往带讥讽的对我说:“先生,这撑船费劲,天热累人,还是拿个薄皮舟溜溜吧!”我那里肯听话,长篙子一点就把船撑了开去,结果还是把河身一段段的腰斩了去。

你站在桥上去看人家撑,那多不费劲,多美!尤其在礼拜天有几个专家的女郎,穿一身缟素衣服,裙裾在风前悠悠的飘着,戴一顶宽边的薄纱帽,帽影在水草间颤动,你看她们出桥洞时的姿态,捻起一根竟像没分量的长竿,只轻轻的,不经心的往波心里一点,身子徽微的一蹲,这船身便波的转出了桥影,翠条鱼似的向前滑了去。她们那敏捷,那轻盈,真是值得歌咏的。

在初夏阳光渐暖时你去买一支小船,划去桥边荫下躺着念你的书或是做你的梦,槐花香在水面上飘浮,鱼群的唼喋声在你的耳边挑逗。或是在初秋的黄昏,近着新月的寒光,望上流僻静处远去。爱热闹的少年们揣着他们的女友,在船沿上支着双双的东洋红纸灯,带着话匣子,船心里用软垫铺着,也开向无人迹处去享他们的野福——谁不爱听那水底翻的音乐在静定的河上描写梦意与春光!

住惯城市的人不易知道季候的变迁。看见叶子掉知道是秋,看见叶子绿知道是春;天冷了装炉子,天热了拆炉子;脱下棉袍,换上夹袍,脱下夹袍,芽上单袍;不过如此罢了。天上星斗的消息,地下泥土里的消息,空中风吹的消息,都不关我们的事。忙着哪,这样那样事情多着,谁耐烦管星星的移转,花草的消长喂,风云的变幻?同时我们抱怨我们的生活、苦痛、烦闷、拘束、枯燥,谁肯承认做人是快乐?谁不多少间咒诅人生?

但不满意的生活大都是由于自取的。我是一个生命的信仰者,我信生活决不是我们大多数人仅仅从自身经验推得的那样暗惨。我们的病根是在“忘本”。人是自然的产儿,就比枝头的花与鸟是自然的产儿,但我们不幸是文明人,入世深似一天,离自然远似一天。离开了泥土的花草,离开了水的鱼,能快活吗?能生存吗?从大自然,我们取得我们的生命;从大自然,我们应分取得我们继续的资养。那一株婆娑的大木没有盘错的根只深入在无尽藏的地里?我们是永远不能独立的。有幸福是永远不离母亲抚育的孩子,有健康是永远接近自然的人们。不必一定与鹿豕游,不必一定回“洞府”去;为医治我们当前生活的枯窘,只要“不完全遗忘自然”一张轻淡的药方我们的病象就有缓和的希望。在青草里打几个滚,到海水里洗几次浴,到高处去看几次朝霞与晚照——你肩背上的负担就会轻松了去的。

这是极肤浅的道理;当然。但我要没有过过康桥的日子,我就不会有这样的自信。我这一辈子就只那一春,说也可怜,算是不曾虚度。就只那一春,我的生活是自然的,是真愉快的!(虽则碰巧那也是我最感受人生痛苦的时期。)我那时有的是闲暇,有的是自由,有的是绝对单独的机会。说也奇怪,竟像是第一次,我辨认了星月的光明,草的青,花的香,流水的殷勤我能忘记那初春的睥赐吗?曾经有多少个清晨我独自冒着冷去薄霜铺地的林子里闲步——为听鸟语,为盼朝阳,为寻泥土里渐次苏醒的花草,为体会最微细最神妙的春信。啊,那是新来的画眉在那边调不尽的青枝上试它的新声!啊,这是第一朵小雪球花挣出了半冻的地面!啊,这不是新来的潮润沾上了寂寞的柳条?

静极了,这朝来水溶溶的大道,只远处牛奶车的铃声,点缀这周遭的沉默。顺着这大道走去,走到尽头,再转入林子目里的小径,往烟雾浓密处走去,头顶是交枝的榆荫,透露着漠楞楞的曙色;再往前走去,走尽这林子,当前是平坦的原野,望见村舍,初青的麦田,更远三两个镘形的小山掩住了一条通道。天边是雾茫茫的,尖尖的黑影是近村的教寺。听,那晓钟和缓的清音。这一带是此帮中部的平原,地形像是海里的轻波,默沉沉的起伏;山岭是望不见的,有的是常青的草原与沃腴的田壤。登那土阜上望去,康桥只是一带茂林,拥戴着几处娉婷的尖阁。妩媚的康河也望不见踪迹,你只能循着那锦带似的林木想像那一流清浅。村舍与树林是这地盘上的棋子,有村舍处有佳音,有佳荫处有村舍。这早起是看炊烟的时辰;朝雾渐渐的升起,揭开了这灰苍苍的天幕(最好是微汲后的光景),远近的炊烟,成丝的、成缕的、成卷的、轻快的、迟重的、浓灰的、淡青的、惨白的,在静定的朝气里渐渐的上腾,渐渐的不见,仿佛是朝来人们的祈祷,参差的翳入了天听。朝阳是难得见的,这初春的天气。但它来时是起早人莫大的愉快。顷刻间这周遭弥漫了清晨富丽的温柔。顷刻间你的心怀也分润了白天诞生的光荣。 “春”!这胜利的晴空仿佛在你的耳边私语。 ”春“!你那快活的灵魂也仿佛在那里回响。

(五)

伺候着河上的风光,这春来一天有一天的消息。关心石上的苔痕,关心败草里的花鲜,关心这水流的缓急,关心水草的滋长,关心天上的云霞,关心新来的鸟语。怯伶伶的小雪球是探春信的小使。铃兰与香草是欢喜的初声。窈窕的莲馨,玲珑的石水仙,爱热闹的克罗克斯,耐辛苦的蒲公英与雏菊——这时候春光已是烂缦在人间,更不须殷勤问讯。

瑰丽的春放。这是你野游的时期。可爱的路政,这里不比中国,那一处不是坦荡荡的大道?徒步是一个愉快,但骑自转车是一个更大的愉快,在康桥骑车是普遍的技术;妇人、稚子、老翁,一致享受这双轮舞的快乐。(在康桥听说自转车是不怕人偷的,就为人人都自己有车,没人要偷。)任你选一个方向,任你上一条通道,顺着这带草味的和风,放轮远去,保管你这半天的逍遥是你性灵的补剂。这道上有的是清荫与美草,随地都可以供你休憩。你如爱花,这这里的是锦绣似的草原。你如爱鸟,这里多的是巧啭的鸣禽。你如爱儿童,这乡间到处是可亲的稚子。你如爱人情,这里多的是不嫌远客的乡人,你到期处可以“挂单”借宿,有酪浆与嫩薯供你饱餐,有夺目的果鲜恣你尝新。你如爱酒,这乡间每“望”都为你储有上好的新酿,黑啤如太浓,苹果酒、蕃酒都是供你解渴润肺的。……带一卷书,走十里路,选一块清静地,看天,听鸟,读书,倦了时,和身在草绵绵处寻梦去——你能想像更适情更适性的消遣吗?

陆放翁有一联诗句:“传呼快马迎新月,却上轻舆趁晚凉”;这是做地方官的风流。我在康桥时虽没马骑,没轿子坐,却也有我的风流:我常常在夕阳西晒时骑了车迎着天边扁大的日头直追。日头是追不到的,我没有夸父的荒诞,但晚景的温存却被我这样偷尝了不少。有三两幅画图似的经验至今还是栩栩的留着。只说看夕阳,我们平常只知道登山或是临海,但实际只须耳阔的天际,平地上的晚霞有时也是一样的神奇。有一次我赶到一个地方,手把着一家村庄的篱笆,隔着一大田的麦浪,看西天的变幻。有一次是正冲着一条宽广的大道,过来一大群羊,放草归来的,偌大的太阳在它们后背放射着万缕的金辉,天上却是乌青青的,剩这不可逼视的威光中的一条大路、一群生物,我心头顿时感着神异性的压迫,我真的跪下了,对着这冉冉渐翳的金光。再有一次是更不可忘的奇景,那是临着一大片望不到头的草原,满开着艳红的罂粟,在青草里亭亭像是万盏的金光,阳光从褐色云斜着过来,幻成一种异样紫色,透明似的不可逼视,霎那间在我迷眩了的视觉中,这草田变成了……不说也罢,说来你们也是不信的!

一别二年多了,康桥,谁知我这思乡的隐忧?也想不别的,我只要那晚钟撼动的黄昏,没遮拦的田野,独自斜倚在软草里,看第一个大星在天边出现!

十五年一月十五日

Saturday 1 August 2009

Sum of the first ½ integer

This may not make sense. There is ½ of an integer, but what is the first ½? 

Just consider this formula sn(n+1), which gives the sum of the first n integers, s. When we plot a graph of s versus n, we have

From the graph, the s value will give the sum of the first n integer. Like reading off from the graph. So to find the sum of the first ½ integer, just substitute n=1/2 and we have s = 3/8. This applies to any fraction.

Ya the sum of the first ½ integer is 3/8. It is by no means any serious mathematics. Just some food for thought.

Friday 31 July 2009

刘贝语录

我说:“你自己去玩吧,我要睡午觉。”刘贝回答:“你睡十觉吧。”

妈妈说:“有些东西你不会做就不要做,等你长大了再做。”贝说:“我会坐呀!”然后就真的坐起来。

我说:“你再淘气警察叔叔就把你抓到监狱里了,就不能跟刘云玩了。”贝说:“那你自己玩吧!”好像我很想跟他玩似的。

刘贝看见两根铅笔,一根长,一根短。他指着短的那根说:“它没吃菜。”

Saturday 4 July 2009

四大名著像什么游戏呢?

《水浒传》

MMORPG。108个主角,每个人的贡献铸成了梁山的传奇。

《三国演义》

RTS即时策略。多变的策略,资源的支配,人才的管理将决定国家的兴衰。

《西游记》

RPG角色扮演。4个人闯天下,典型的角色扮演。

《红楼梦》

个人觉得不像任何游戏,最接近的可能就是The Sims. 模拟家庭生活。

Monday 22 June 2009

Dolphins

I was reading an article on the Amazon dolphin on the June 2009 edition of National Geographic. It has nothing special to offer. However, there is a paragraph on the other river dolphins in the word. It mentioned the baiji, or Yangtze dolphin.

Suddenly as if a connection has been established and for some reason I felt very sad. I was full of anger when I heard about it's extinction 2 years ago. As of now, I just felt sad, as if a friend has died, although the only link between it and me is that I mentioned about it once on my blog.

A biologist in the article said “losing the baiji is like taking a chain saw to the cetacean tree of life. We've lost 20 million years of independent evolution”. Maybe there is a connection deep down there.

Tuesday 28 April 2009

老舍的《四世同堂》

一些看起来毫不起眼的生活琐事,到了老舍的笔下,却成了反映整个时代特色的素材。我们拿两部大家比较熟悉的作品来看。在《骆驼祥子》里,一个洋车夫的堕落让人们感受到当时社会的畸形与黑暗;老百姓在《茶馆》里的唠闲嗑成了社会变迁的写照。这次他同样地不写民国政府或者游击队,也不写激烈的战场或者大汉奸汪精卫,却抓住“小羊圈”这个不痛不痒的地方创造了一部关于日本侵略中国的小说。故事虽然是虚构的,但语气激昂,带这浓厚的爱国情绪,并十分逼真的描写了三种人,每个人的优点缺点癖好思想都被展露的淋漓尽致,让我觉的书里的角色都是活在我身边的。

大部分的北平人,包括住在小羊圈里的居民都是属于第一种---我称呼他们为“忍”者。他们有力量,有智慧去反抗,可是为了明哲保身,却在铁蹄下苟延残喘的活着。他们以为只要安分守己的过日子,就能熬过去,但小崔和孙七等却无缘无故丢了命。这种人的典型就是瑞宣。作为这本书的主角,老舍详细地描写了他内心激烈、复杂的思想斗争,和他那时时刻刻受到谴责的良心。不难理解,这些人给读者的忠告就是:在亡了国的时候,大家不但失去了自由和自尊,连活下去的权利都掌握在敌人的手里了。

第二种人就是敢于抗击的英雄们,代表人物就是被折磨后的钱默吟。儿子殉国以后,他被汉奸出卖,从一个不问世事的诗人,变成了一个积极的幕后抗战工作者。小说不停地歌颂他们的功德,因为很显然他们的工作是值得大家尊敬的。同样在一开始就离家出走的瑞全在后来也成的抗战的代表。像桐芳,刘师傅和小文夫妇这些人虽然开始不积极,但到了最后,也勇于拼搏。

最后一种,也是我认为描写的最惟妙惟肖就是汉奸。老舍把他们比喻成“暑天粪窑的蛆”,说“他们只忠于自己---为升官,为发财,而不顾成千上万人的死活,把弱势群体的无助当成向上升的台阶。他们无聊,无知,无心肝,无廉耻,在没有外患的时候,他们使社会腐烂。当外患来到,他们是国家亡得快一点。”李空山,祁封瑞夫妇,冠晓荷夫妇,蓝东阳,高亦陀这些人为了苟且偷生,为了满足自己的虚荣心,出卖同胞,进贡给“日本的天神们”。他们之间没有友情爱情,只有勾心斗角,肉欲,金钱与官职。丁约翰不能算是汉奸,但他那崇洋媚外的劲儿不亚于任何人,好比千万人的写照。老舍很恰当的说这些人是百年来中国受到外国列强侵略的后遗症,是中华文化的渣滓。

值得一提得是祁家有点像巴金《激流三部曲》中的高家。家里都有个老太爷,而且老太爷都有三个成年的孙子。大孙子(瑞宣和觉新)都十分有抱负,心系国家与社会,而且思想成熟办事老练,可是因为早早的结婚成家,被束缚了,不能追求自己的理想。老三(瑞全和觉慧)也都十分叛逆,而且毫不隐瞒自己的想法,和老大一样十分关心国事,最终为了自己的理想而离家出走。《四世同堂》也和《红楼梦》有点“相似”之处。最后十几章的原稿遗失了,所以现在我们看到的结局是从英文版又翻译过来的,可能有点靠不住,当然文笔也大失味道。不过不管人们如何评价,这本小说在历史中还是有它的一席之位的。

后记:这篇文章我回中国前就写好了,可是没想到一趟神州之旅没把我的汉语水平提高多少。经反复斟酌,语句依然不通,缺乏内涵,没有激情,毫无修饰,从头到尾找不到一句像样的话,我甚是自恼,几乎一气之下把文件给删了。不过想想去年中国发生的四川地震和毒牛奶等天灾人祸,那些贪污赈灾款项的官吏们和往牛奶里掺化学药品的商人们总让我想起“蛆”这个字。看来这小说的影响还不小,就应着头皮把它拿出来了。我不顾脸面了!

Thursday 19 March 2009

2 months

Finally the 2 months of vacation has come to an end. It felt very fast. Probably I've packed too many programs into this short period. Nevetheless, it's the kind of holiday I won't be able to enjoy again, as I believe I'll not have such a long break with nothing much meaningful to do any time soon. Yes I won't.

February 2001 was the last time I celebrated Chinese New Year in my grandparents' house; and I waited till this January to do it again. I saw many relatives from my mum's side as well, some of whom I could no longer recognize as they were still young when I last saw them. I managed to meet up with many primary and middle school friends for the first time in like 8 to 9 years. Although with tons of words to say, years of separation still created a barrier after all.

For the bulk of the time I stayed in Shanghai, shopping for winter clothings and other daily items too expensive here in Singapore. I tried to improve my cooking skill, without much success. Playing with my brother and ferrying him to and fro kindergarten are more fun. One month of normal life for me with family around.

Then I went to Japan. Finally get to see Lele for the first time since his birth. Cultures that the Japanese learned from China are well-preserved, despite the heavy influence from the West since Meiji Restoration. I'm stunned by the beauty of the landscape as well. Disneyland is crap, compared to the spa in natural spring water. I'm very grateful for the chance to visit there, thanks to the hospitality of my uncle.

OK, enough of recollection. Time to move on.