IMRE attachment

I have finished the first full week of attachment at IMRE. It was quite boring, as I am alone in this project and haven't started on any hands-on experiment yet. That is not to say that I have understood the theory part. I'm far from it. In fact I can only describe all the phenomenons of electrospinning in the most lay-man's term, as the underlying physics requires formula that are beyond me. I can state all the terms without any problem, but I do not know their full meaning. Then there's all the spectroscopy. They are killing me.

However, there are some untoward advantage working there. As it is located in NUS, I could meet some friends whom I thought I had forgotten them. And it is very near my house, with 3 buses able to ferry me to and fro, within 10 minutes. Only Tanglin is more convenient to me.

The best part so far is that there is not much restriction on me. The working hour is something around 8.30-6, but I think I can go home whenever I want. I can go to tea break or lunch as many times as I like, and even if I don't turn up I doubt anyone will know too. However, all these are likely to end soon as I'm starting to work in the lab, and that means much more things to do.

I have also attended a two days course on safety. Suddenly the words OSHAS, PPE and MSDS came back to me. I thought I have left them for good when I left my workshop, only to meet it here again. And I think I'm beginning to get addicted to coffee, thanks to the excellent coffee machine they have here at every floor.

And ya I forgot to mention the canteens. The design of the Arts canteen is far better than those in Business or Science. It is new and decorated with bright colours and nice lamps. It also gives people a sense of cleanliness and the whole place is more pleasant to the eyes. I have yet to try out all the stalls though, and I will do so in the weeks to come.

Flash说唱

有几个好听的flash说唱要介绍给大家。虽说大部分都是好几年前的作品了，里面的语言也有些粗俗，不过还是反映了些问题，值得一听的。最出名的当然就是《大学自习室》系列，尤其是原作，在Youtube可以找到许多真人扮演的版本。还有那个关于台湾的，2004年曾在英国BBC World Service中的East Asia Today被介绍过。

• CS 十年
• 娱乐圈
• 终“日”到底
• 留学垃圾
• 台湾,我的兄弟
• 大学自习室
• 大学自习室续--月光花朵
• 大学自习室2--废铁是怎样炼成的
• 大学自习室3--再见大四

ORD loh!

The morning downpour looks like the final obstacle I have to face. But after getting my pink IC, I feel like a pheonix reborn from the ashes. Who cares the rain?

Obama

Obama has become the first African American president, and the first black man to enter the White House. Just as all the polls have indicated, he claimed victory and made history. His achievement would have been unimaginable decades ago, and it is an indication of the strength of the American people, and their eagerness for change.

Change has been the theme of his campaign and it is a wisely chosen one. President George Bush is unpopular to say the least. In his eight years in office, America has gone to two wars, is on the brink (or already in) of the worst financial crisis in a few generations, and has a tremedous deficit. He cannot escape the blame for his party's losses in both the Senate and House of Representatives two years ago. Senator McCain may have some brilliant ideas and proved experiences, but these cannot make people ignore the mistakes committed by the Republican Party.

I am awed by Obama's ability to raise funds to run for the office. Starting from the Democrat primaries, his vast network of cash have enabled him to focus, and is also a convincing testament for his popularity and support. His speech is like, just too powerful and inspiring.

However, the US and the world need much more than charisma from a president. His future policies, whether in line with his campaign promises or not, are essential to steer the world in the right direction. Let's see if he can deliver.

老同学

昨天费了九牛二虎之力终于在“校内网”上注册了个帐号，不过我的努力没有白费，到晚上就找到了几个小学的同学。八年了。八年我没能跟他们说上一句话。我简直不敢相信我真的在和他们聊天！

跟柳碧涛，齐文正，莫瑞方，张天娇都聊了些，虽然很激动很兴奋，但是有种千言万语不知从何说起的感觉。虽然只是那短短的几句话，可是包含了我这些年的思念之情。跟安政说的最多，没想到他跑到美国去了，本来还想今年过年能见见他。他和张天娇的恋情也是扑朔迷离（我不太清楚，可是感觉上可以写一本书了），祝这两个“高个子”在美国幸福。

我兴奋的昨晚一夜都没睡好。真希望今天晚上能再遇见多几个老同学。

a tribute

not sure how to start on this thing. i'm feeling lost and weird. the scope of life suddenly changed angle and lead me to a new place. the bmt bunk, the jungles in tekong, the parade square. things that i thought i have forgotten were back on my mind. i have not seen him since, and although it was a long period ago, it was not easy to forget him.

he was older than most of us, and being so was much more matured in handling that fact that we were enlisted in the army. there is always a competition going around to see who's the last person not to report/fall sick, and he was the last few standing. he was the one who called me muhammad liuyun. and only few days before pop i realised that we were from the same secondary school.

that was the last time i saw him, and just as we are all going to ord in 2 weeks time, he is involved in a motorbike accident. the kind of feeling you get is just overwhelming, and it was particularly so when alex broke the news to me. just like that, a person, with a dream and plan after ns, is gone, as if wind has blown away his life when the words were spoken finished.

may you rest in peace, mustafa.

读《红楼梦》有感

这个题目用在一部巨作上似乎有点太俗了，但与其绞尽脑汁来想一个花俏的名字，我还是最好不要班门弄斧在这种地方花心思。

《红楼梦》和《西游记》、《水浒传》、《三国演义》被统称为四大名著，所以它的名字是妇孺皆知的。但往细节里看，《红楼梦》对我们来说是陌生的，因为里面没有一个章节是家喻户晓的。我们茶前饭后所听到的、看到的和谈到的，也少有《红楼梦》的影子，可见它的民间影响也就远不及其它三部了。

《西游记》有大闹天宫、三打白骨精，《水浒传》有一百单八将、武松打虎，《三国演义》就更不用说了，什么桃园结义、三顾茅庐、草船借箭等等更是无人不知；以其为背景的电脑游戏和电影也数不胜数。你能说出一个《红楼梦》里出名的故事吗？我看很难。比较出名的还是一个歇后语：刘姥姥进大观园——眼花缭乱。然而偏偏就是这么一本书，却被共认为最优秀的古典文学，比任何一部文学作品都要好。为什么呢？我怀着这个问题把这本“空前绝后”的书读了一遍。

几个月后...

我无法用任何文学的眼光去鉴赏，只把它当成一本故事书侧重看情节。

书里的故事和人物关系十分错综复杂，很像无数个家庭琐事的流水帐，虽然有一个总的路线，但发展十分缓慢。为了衬托出女性主人公的特色，贾家的男人被描写成了典型的纨绔子弟，奸淫、内斗、在外采花问柳，挥霍无度，对祖上的名声业绩也一概不顾，伤风败俗的事干了一箩筐。最让我佩服的是作者花费了大量笔墨来描写人物之间的对话，动作和思想，也许就是因为如此，《红楼梦》的人物形象特别的明显。虽然有七百多人登场，贾宝玉，林黛玉，薛宝钗，王熙凤四个主角的个性被塑造的十分鲜明，其他配角也很突出。

然而我所不能理解的是书里的人的身体十分不好，被主子说几句或者受一点凉、累就能一卧不起，病上好几个月甚至把命搭上。总的来说作者通过对家庭生活细心的描写把清朝社会官宦世家活生生的印在了纸上。

《红楼梦》可以说是一个故事性的“百科全书”，其中包含了许多中华文化像中医，建筑，膳食，服饰等，文学价值十分高。里面的诗词更是绝顶。十二金钗于宝玉他们中秋打的字谜，和“海棠社”里的诗句了，就够我受的，虽然不是完全不懂，可是根本分不出优劣。宝玉的文学修养还数不着，但他写给晴雯写的祭词也是深奥无比。

但是有一点我是十分肯定的，那就是最后一部（我看的版本被分成四部，一部三十回）明显是出于另外一个人的手笔，语句的连贯性和措词都大大不如前三部，诗词也只出现了一两次，可见高鹗的为学造诣和曹雪芹还差的多呢。

说了这么多，我还是不能回答我在前面提出的问题，可见我对《红楼梦》还是一头雾水。没办法只好参考了些网上的资料，又听了几集“百家讲坛”关于解读红楼梦的讲座，总算对些地方是明白了些。红楼梦的伟大之处在于作者在文字上伏笔千里，给整本书增加了无穷的魅力，可以说是让人越读越有味。这可以从他用谐音给人物取名看的出来，比如书一开头介绍了两个和故事不太相干的人物“贾雨村”和“甄士隐”，他两个人的谐音概括了整本书的纲要“假语存”和“真事隐”（贾府=假府，元春、迎春、探春、惜春=原应叹息，贾政、贾敬=假正经，贾王薛史=家亡血史，等等）。

还有就是贾宝玉，林黛在“道义规矩”的扼杀人之本性天性的封建文明中出现是一个奇迹，作者借此对封建礼教的蔑视与批判，体现了人性的真实。然而《红楼梦》的成书过程是一气呵成的，而其它三部的章届早已在民间流传，以不同的艺术方式出现，到明朝被人总结为一部部长篇小说，所以《红楼梦》民间影响不大。你们明白了吗？

我不敢相信我糊里糊涂的写了这么长，其实三个字就可以概括了：没看懂。

Oliver Twist

I have read a myriad of great novels without bothering to write down anything. I feel it is a great loss to me as the kind of feeling or thought these writings evoked when I was reading are not easily replicated in any other situation. Now that I have completed Dickens's Oliver Twist, it may be the time that I start writing something, and hopefully it will be the the beginning.

His vocabulary just cannot be matched. He can use very formal words to describe the lives people in higher class, and use street and gang slang for the criminal and lower society. Such descriptions blend so well that this work can be called nothing but a masterpiece. He is also very good at describing the inner feeling of the characters, and I can relate to such feelings when I was in a similar situation. One of the examples is his descriptions of young Oliver's thoughts before he slept, and his journey to London. Another example was his narration of Fagin's despondent last day in the cell and his thoughts. In addition, he is very good at painting a grim and filthy picture of neighbourhood and workhouse. London in the 19th century has come alive with the elegance of his language. It is not as hard to understand as those written in the 18th century such as Robinson Crusoe, Gulliver's Travel, though.

Nevertheless, it is easy to point out the faults in the story. Firstly, Oliver is way too lucky. When he first went to the street to pickpocket (he was unaware), he ran into his father's old friend, Mr Brownlow. And in his next adventure to rob a house (against his will), he ran into his kind aunt, Rose Maylie, although in both instance he did not know his relationship with them yet. Secondly, the treatment of Fagin and his gang were too harsh at the end. The whole city seemed to boil with anger at the murder of Nancy for no other apparent reason, and Fagin was sentenced to death for his mostly petty crimes. Thirdly, in Book the Third, Oliver is hardly featured at all. All the happenings were for him instead of by him.

All these things are nothing as I'm absorbed into the world of Oliver Twist. Just love it.

中秋遐想

早总觉得该写点东西了，可是一直静不下心来斟酌这些字句。今天望着一轮明月突然心情澎湃，一股冲劲把我最近的心情都吐露了出来。

父母和弟弟三人在新加坡的四十多天给我带来了许多温馨与快乐，让我在一年半里第一次享受到天伦之乐。从兵营回到家之后，总是有香喷喷的饭菜等着，有什么不顺心的事情也有人倾诉商量，更幸福的就是还有个两岁大的弟弟整天陪着我玩。生活终于又上了正常的轨道。

父母还是老样子，为了一点鸡毛蒜皮的小事大吵大闹，而争吵的主题始终离不开“钱”。这难道就是传说中的夫妻相处之道？真爱只有从打骂中才能显现出来？虽然大多数是母亲在无理取闹，不过她顶多是在言语上占上风，而父亲看起来好像被欺负，可是行动上毫不让步。家里的格局是起了翻天覆地的变化，因为我的小弟不再是襁褓里的婴儿了，全家人都得围着他团团转。而他呢，除了吃喝拉撒睡之外就不停的缠着我。每天我刚进家门，他就会冲到门口，用他那含糊不清的声音喊我的名字,然后马上叫我和他踢球。后来羽毛球，推车，看照片，滑滑梯，搭巴士等活动也都上了他的节目表，而这些几乎全全由我负责，累的我连坐下来的时间都没有。我实在不明白像搭巴士这么惹人讨厌的事情在他看来竟然是这么的趣味无穷。

现在他们又都回去了。家里只剩四面墙，我又得开始发愁伙食，想要听到人们的笑声和说话声都有点困难。过去的一年里可以说是自由天堂，想干什么就干什么完全没有汇报的必要。整天想着怎么拿到奖学金，怎么考上好大学，得到这些以后发现并没有高兴的一跃三丈，反而是这一个月里一事无成，生活上受到一定的约束，才是最开心的。人们都是脆弱的，不管是外表是多么坚强、冷漠的人，内心总是渴望关怀与温暖，越是独立的人越希望有人陪，因为他个了解寂寞的痛苦与无助。“是不是时候该找个女朋友了？”我问自己。别的不说，自己好歹也二十了，是时候找个伴了。又想到一年后又要飞到千里之外去读书，内心不免矛盾。这激烈的思想斗争可真是剪不断，理还乱啊！

I conquered 21km!

I never thought I can finish, but I did in the Army Half Marathon today.

The early morning drizzling and my muddy shoes were quite discouraging. However, my left knee, which always gave me problems after about 5km, miraculously never hurt at all. Running in a mass that stretches in the kilometers was another pushing factor that was not present before. I must admit the girls were an extra motivator too. Still, it was a journey not easily accomplished. Previously the longest distance I have covered was 14km which I completed in 1 hour 30 minutes. It was a grueling experience to say the least. Today it was much worse.

There were plenty of water points, some drums and music to replenish my energy, and the scenery was beautiful, yet all I cared was to look for the next distance indicator. The lack of training became apparent after I crossed the 18km mark. Both of my arms started to feel numb. I was exhausted beyond description and was panting desperately as if my whole system was going to stall due to lack of oxygen. The worst thing was that my brain was not functioning properly; I felt giddy and surrounding seemed blurred. Such feeling never occurred before so I stopped to rest, and walked for a considerate distance.

The thought of 3 days off and achieving something mastered enough energy for me to run the last 1.5km in a good pace. I didn't exactly start at 0:00, but when I look at the timer as I crossed the finishing line, it read 2:24:xx. Yes I did it!

Coincidentally, today was also the final for the man's marathon. After reaching home I checked the world record. For men it stands at 2:04:26, and women 2:15:25. So after all the suffering (I can't walk properly, and have difficulties climbing up and down the stairs), I still took more time to complete half of the distance. This leads me to think that, a medal in events such as marathon, triathlon should carry more weight than the other medals in the Olympics. Full respect to the athletes.

The Last Lecture

Mr Lim told me about the Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. It was a very inspiring talk by this Carnegie Mellon computer science professor, who died of pancreatic cancer on 25th July this year. Although it lasted for more than 1 hour, it is definitely worth watching. I was nearly going to this school!

parents coming

Finally my parents are coming to Singapore to visit me. They have talked a lot about coming here yet they delayed every time. They missed my POP and scholarship ceremony, and I really miss them and the delicious home cooked food. Although living alone guarantees ultimate freedom, I think some discipline and parental guidance are no harm either. I can finally see my toddler brother, too. I heard from my parents that he had changed a lot since I last saw him. Below are some pictures of him taken around his 2nd birthday in Shanghai.

He received a toy car for his birthday.

Not satisfied? (Mum was taking the picture there).

The stapler looks more interesting to him.

Officially A Singaporean

Last Sunday I attended the Citizenship Ceremony in Singapore Poly to receive a certificate of identity. Now I'm officially a Singaporean. However, I stiil cannot get my ic, which is supposed to be presented to me together with the certificate. Damn army.

《仙剑奇侠传》历代简评

我认为我还能算一个仙剑的崇拜者。从小学玩到现在，从DOS版玩到四代我一部都没放过。无论舆论的褒贬，我对狂徒制作群和上海软星的支持是没有动摇过的。随着网络游戏的迅速崛起，作为单机角色扮演游戏泰山北斗的仙剑奇侠传的前途可以说是一片迷茫。

DOS和WIN95版

仙剑之所以能“活”到现在90%归功于当时风靡于大江南北的第一代的成就。游戏的操作十分简易，BUG少，但引人入胜的情节是它成功的主要因素，李逍遥、赵灵儿、林月如和阿奴四人之间的爱情故事几乎可以和中国民间四大传说相提并论，主题曲《蝶恋》也跃升为最出名的游戏音乐。每当我看到开场动画中一只只仙鹤在云雾飘渺的丛山中飞翔时，我就会激动起来，迫不及待的进入游戏。仙剑的迷宫是无与伦比的困难，尤其是在傀儡洞中寻找隐藏的五灵神像时我走了几天都没找到，为了能通关必须和朋友经常讨论迷宫的走法。从阴森的迷宫转了出来，就到了热闹的城市，看一幕幕感人的画面，读一首首耐人寻味的诗歌，用有中国特色名称的招式和物品。悲惨的结局所留下的震撼和悬念，能常常令我想起游戏中的高潮迭起的故事。仙剑从此成为了一种文化，一个不能超越的极限。

新仙剑：内容和一代大致一样，只不过用了全新的游戏引擎，虽然漂亮了不少，不过感觉没那么爽。

仙剑二

整个游戏被一代的光辉所埋没。为了对一代有个交待，大宇做出一个“能模仿时就模仿”的续集，一样是一男三女遨游江湖。剧情被一代所束缚，故事的发展毫无起伏，也缺乏连贯性，不能给人新颖的感觉。美术更是彻底的失败。作为帅哥李逍遥和美女赵灵二的女儿，李忆如却被画成了一个丑八怪。网上论坛里不乏腌臜制作团队的玩家，也是因为如此仙剑二很快的在玩家的记忆中消失了。最近看了一篇报道，说公司的内乱是导致二代失败的主要原因。虽然是“家族败类”，但我觉得感人的结局和动听的音乐还是值得鼓励的。

仙剑三

在仙剑二失败后，仙剑三的制作完全由上海软星负责策划。为了不让这个金字招牌倒下去，整个团队可以说是呕心沥血，这一点可以从游戏里的多个小游戏和庞大的系统看出来。魔剑培养，御剑飞行，冶炼合成，投资当铺，我真的不知道他们哪里来这么多点子。整个战斗系统也是大改革，可以说是我见过最精彩，而且不用疯狂按热键的战场。故事背景也基本脱离了一代，我能控制更多的角色来玩出不同的结局。情节的起伏虽然不能和一代相提并论，但也十分有创意，可见这次大换血把仙剑又带回到了正确的轨道上。我所不能接受的是粗糙的3D场景，虽说停留在2D是与时代背道而驰，但好歹也不要让我一直被卡，卡通风格的人物也不适合这么一个老字号。

问情篇：填补了一代和三代剧情中的空缺，起了一个承上启下的作用。虽然删除了当铺和魔剑系统，整个感觉根三代差不多。酒剑仙，剑圣，圣姑，李三思，巫后等等熟悉的人物都作为配角一一登场。

仙剑四

这是上海软星解散前的遗作，一发行就受到了好评。虽然他的历史地位还需要时间的奠基，但四代无疑又掀起了一股仙剑热潮，网上铺天盖地的都是关于“仙剑文化”和“拯救国产单机游戏”的声浪。遗憾的是制作团队的骨干都相继辞职，又给仙剑的将来蒙上了一片阴影。我个人觉的故事情节完全可以和一代相提并论，四个主角的个性被刻画得十分鲜明。战斗系统也被改动，和三代相比各有千秋，3D造型也从卡通升级到了真人比例，画面也细腻的多，操作起来也相当顺畅。

Amazing thailand

The half a month that I spent in Thailand was quite an eye-opener. It deserved detailed chronicling. However, as I did not bring a camera, thinking that other people would surely bring one, describing everything i saw vividly is inherently difficult with my limited vocabulary. And as I do not want to talk too much about the army, most of the stories will go into my personal diary.

Here are just some points of interest about the trip.

• When I left the house for the airport on the 10th, I was trapped in the lift at my block for about 20 minutes. It was the first time I encountered a breakdown and I was all alone. Not much drama and no rescue team as well. The lift came back to life on its own.
• I have seen a transsexual for the first time. Maybe you are wondering what was I doing all my 20 years, but seriously it was the first time. The only obvious way to distinguish them is through the pitch of their voice. There are pretty a lot of them there in Thailand.
• There was a part of a railway that runs through a small market town in Kanchanaburi, yet there was not any barrier or warning device to inform the motorists of any potential danger. Though I heard that the trains will slow down when they are reaching such junctions, the locals are taking no chance. No one ever speed past this point, even though they disregard most other traffic regulations. So the next time the traffic police in Singapore want to limit the speed of the vehicles, just build one railway through the road. Lol.
• Thailand is a beautiful country. When travelling along the roads, I have seen herds of cows grazing on the grass and birds flying about. Near the road there are the rice fields; further are the trees and houses; In the background there are mountains shrouded in clouds and mists. Actually I shouldn't have included this paragraph, as the description was no where close to the actual beauty of the landscape.
• There is no showering facility in Sai Yok Camp. Instead, there is a water tank for us to scoop water to wash our bodies. Most of the time there would be lots of insects in the water. I have dubbed them “spices”, just like in the past whereby people added flower pedals to the water when they bathed.
• When an artillery fires, the ground will shake. And you can hear the sounds of the shell as it travels in the projectile.
• Certainly Thai people are better at field deployment. When the troops arrived at their deployment sites, ninja stores were already set up to sell ice-creams, fried rice and noodles to the soldiers. And they are a daring group pf people. I have seen a small boy around the age of 10 navigating around the artillery guns and command posts to sell drinks to the Singapore soldiers.

Sai Yok Camp

I'll be in Thailand from 10th to 27th this month. On duty for the army.

a bit of DOTA

After a long abstinence from DOTA, I have picked it up again recently. But it's not really against my promise to quit from the game, as I only played 2 to 3 times after work with my army friends. I have realised that a lot of the heroes and items have changed, but the general game play and feel are still within recognition.

It is a good way to bond as we would shout against each other so loud that all the people at the LAN shop would be looking at us. During breaks and lunch we could have a common topic to discuss, although it is by far not the most popular topic (the most popular is about how f*ck up army life is). Setting the minds against each other to devise a better strategy in this game is a rather interesting thing to do, since it gives us something to look forward to in the week, and breaks the monotone in our life.

读《楚留香》有感

家长最怕孩子做什么？除了极端性质的乱交损友、抽烟、喝酒、吸毒等等，恐怕就是怕他们打电子游戏和看武侠小说了。原因我不说大家也都知道，这些东西一沾就上瘾。只要看过武侠小说的就一定不会否认它的魅力。故事情节引人入胜且包罗万象，它讲述不只是单单讲述精彩的招术和侠义豪情，也注重于人间的情与爱，不可捉摸的人心，反映世俗的偏见。

楚留香是一个很奇特的人物，在很早就名扬天下。他与胡铁花，姬冰雁一起，被称为“雁蝶为双翼，花香满人间”。除了他俩之外，他的朋友还有以杀人为职业的中原一点红，掷杯山庄庄主左轻侯，以及快网张三。往往在每个故事的结局他都先敌后友，结交更多的朋友。他有一艘自己的船，而且船上有三个红颜知己: 精于易容的苏蓉蓉，博闻强记的李红袖，还有妙手烹饪的宋甜儿。楚留香一生中也有许多别的女子。《大沙漠》里有琵琶公主和女扮男妆的黑珍珠；在《借尸还魂》里有石绣云；《蝙蝠传奇》里有责任重大的华真真，没有眼睛的东三娘；《新月传奇》里有新月公主；《桃花传奇》里有张洁洁（他最终的老婆）等等。

我猜楚留香的名字可以被理解为“处留香”，有“风流飘逸处处留香”的意思。不过古龙也挺怪的，男人的名字里有“花”、“香”，女人的名字里有“男”。虽然他在武林被喻为一个神话，头上也带着“香帅”的光环，但他绝不是一个神圣不可侵犯，不食人间烟火的大侠。到处留情，喜欢摸鼻子，更喜欢和胡铁花喝酒，这些特征让我觉得他更像一个常人，虽然他的功夫和本事是我们可望而不可即的。古龙常常说，楚留香不是属于任何一个人的，他作为盗贼们的元帅，常常劫富济贫来助人，当然也几乎每次都得到了女主角的芳心。虽说他十分有女人缘，但绝不重色轻友，每次都舍命去救他的好友，这一点可以从他教的朋友可以看出来。

有人说朱自清的散文写得很美，但跟古龙比起来就显得很俗气。他以诗词的优雅来描写一个场景，去刻画一个人的性格，词句却能摆脱格式的束缚。尤其是在对于一些女主角的描写，有些接近色情小说，让读者有种身临其境的感觉。也可能古大侠就是在讲述一些真理，因为真理往往是“赤裸裸”的。相对来说，武打场面站的篇幅就比较小，一些决斗被他几笔就轻描淡写的代过去了，侧重点则是在人们心理和外在环境。就好比他通过怒视、杀气、落叶、和尘土飞扬等来凝造气氛并渲染武打的激烈。

Mas Selamat bin Kastari

The news is all about him. The orange alert was released by Interpol followed by a red alert. His pictures are everywhere. Police Special Forces and Singapore Guards were activated for the biggest manhunt ever. But what do all these mean to me? Pretty much nothing… until last Tuesday. It was nearing 5.30 and everyone in my workshop was preparing for the RO and fallout. Then suddenly PC called and said that we need to do OT. Apparently the reason was Mas Selamat. Many Land rovers are utilized in the search for him, and there are insufficient vehicles for training purposes.

Despite the explanation that the higher authority has conjured up, the morale is super low. Can’t they just inform us earlier? There were no spares in the workshop too, and we had to go down NSDC to collect them. But what to do, who asks us to be in the SAF?

We still carried out work despite all the grumbling. Even the clerks went down to the workshop, but just to practice their acting skill. The four vehicles that we were supposed to finish by that night proved to be full of faults, and up until 10 pm, we could not pass out all. All the NSFs like me totally gave up. In fact, we began gathering around the smoking corner and sighing on our bad luck. We wondered how and why the escape of a single fugitive could nearly cause the mobilization of the entire SAF.

Finally we were allowed to leave, and thanks to Xian Cong’s mum, I managed to reach home at around 11.30. At that time, I truly felt the power and influence of Mas Selamat.

TP

The first thing that I would like to say is that finally I passed my SAF Driving Test.

After two and half months of training and being under intense mental stress, I passed the test on the third attempt. Hours of driving and months of staying in have paid off, as I earned myself a SAF driving permit and a certificate. This course may have been a breeze for many, but it was a struggle for me. At the start, I can’t even steer the vehicle straight. Although I easily aced through the theory and parking tests, my driving skill only improved slowly with time. When it comes to reacting to road situation, I was totally lost. A few left after the first TP, and more people were gone as the days passed, and in the end, there were only five of us left in the group. Fear and despair began to creep in and our morale is as low as it could get. And then one day the other four passed the test together and suddenly I was left alone. Booking in, staying in, eating breakfast and worse of all, facing the instructors every day all by myself.

This period was probably the most difficult time in my NS so far. Luckily there was Mr. Lee and my parents who helped to encourage me. They gave me valuable advice on how to face what life throws at me, recognizing our strength, weakness and emotion so as to better manage them. Every obstacle leaves its mark on the person who crossed it and accumulating experience so that we can face the future more prepared. I have learnt some lesson the hard way.

走出失败

在古代，人们被封建思想所迷惑；现在，人们一样是某种运作模式的奴隶。整个系统就像一个过滤器，只有符合条件，能成功地从洞中穿过去，才会被人尊敬。所以成千上万的人都绞尽脑汁，想方设法得像狗一样钻了过去。剩下的那些过不去的就自然而然的被喻为失败者，纵然你有一身本领，也只好接受这无奈的现实。

失败常常是这样残酷的。不管是千百年前的科举，还是到现在的考试，这种淘汰系统是长存的，只不过是变了个形势，换了个名字。

失败是成功的影子，虽然没有它绚丽多彩，却保留其轮廓。如果你失败了，你已经看到成功的影子了，千万不要气馁。就如五月天的“倔强”的歌词。

“我不怕万人阻挡，只怕自己投降。”

眼前一切如常。该睡得都睡了，在陪我熬夜的人们借着灯光做着自己的事情。我体会到，这个世界，是不不会为一个人的失败而有所改变，而无数的失败造就了这整个世界。

失败

我失败了。更确切地说，我进入了失败的身体，因为我清楚地感受着失败的一切----他急促的心跳，他颤抖的双手。

事情是这样的。

放假前在准备考试之暇，我在盘算着假期里做些什么，除了休息玩耍，也计划专心学习点数学。可是，假期已过半，我整天不是与喧杂的收音机和电视机为伍，就是在外逍遥自在，根本无暇顾及在‘小憩’的数学课本。我对知识的渴望是无法餍足的，但我对于现状的执著是一副更有束缚力的枷锁，似乎永远牵制了我追逐改变的动力。

那天下了大雨，伫立在牖前叹息。一阵阵微风吹过，猛然觉得骆驼祥子和我有相同之处。曾经是抱负不凡的青年，妄想着在各自的圈子里干一番轰轰烈烈的事，结果都失败了，成为懦夫，跪在地上偷生。不同的是祥子是一个硬汉子，它是受到腐败的环境的迫害，而我，骨子里的决心都已经腐烂了。

在一个失败者的眼里，空气里是充满了黯然之气而饱和，风更告诉我要闪开，因我已无力抵挡风的力量。失败是希望的蹂躏者。他用硬爪似的双手，掐着希望的脖子，就像我一样，希望喘不过气来了。

太阳下山许久，我还痴痴地望着窗外，希望霎那间他又回来，用千万负的光亮，为我点亮希望之光。

我望着那些陈列在书架上的书，一脸的无奈，心里想拿一本翻来看看，可是手刚伸出去，就缩了回来。封面用强烈的眼光瞪了回来，因为他们想被翻阅的那炽热的心被我这个主人给冷却了。我败给了自己，它们无法进他们的责任来开导、鼓励我。这失败不仅是我单单一个人的悲哀，也是数不尽的书本看到了它们的葬身之地。他们已经牺牲了。

"veteran"?

I have already served one year in the army, and can consider myself lucky that everything is smooth so far. Given the little time I have outside camp, this anniversary would be a quiet one, inside my heart, that the end is not far.