无意中在六大的实验室里翻到了一本关于《大学》的少儿入门书籍，里面有一句话是这么说的。
“知止而后有定，定而后能静，静而后能安，安而后能虑，虑而后能得。”
这句话立刻与我产生了共鸣。不得不承认老祖先们对人生的哲理有了相当系统和深入的理解，几句话就把我昨天想说的东西给包罗概括进去了。人不静下来怎能有所得？如果我们的大脑退化到不能集中精神，何谈虑？
我们这些现代人没有去学习这丰富的宝藏，反而整天追求着无数虚假的东西，同时抱怨着生活多么不美满。就算自己没能力禅悟人生之道，听听这些大思想家的见解应该让我对种种事情有更清楚的认识。
《大学》又曰：“古之欲明明德于天下者，先治其国；欲治其国者，先齐其家；欲齐其家者，先修其身；欲修其身者，先正其心；欲正其心者，先诚其意；欲诚其意者，先致其知，致知在格物。”
要没有知识的话，是会被淘汰的。
Consider a walk on the Internet.
I went on Wikipedia to look for information on Fresnel half-period zones. It turned out that the page on Fresnel zone is about something completely different. Clicked on "near field" in the See Also section to see what it is about. I was overwhelmed with wordy descriptions. Scrolling down I started reading the "Analysis" section as the paragraph begins with the words "Maxwell's equation". I stumbled upon "Bessel's function", which was mentioned in my notes but not explained. Click and it was pages after pages of mathematics. WOW. Didn't bother to understand any of it. But Bessel's functions are first defined by Daniel Bernoulli? Lots of things seem to be related to him. Have to see what other things he has accomplished. His page is definitely the most friendly so far, with many familiar names and concepts. Since I'm doing fluid mechanics next term, why not check out it, as he made important contributions.
I shall end it here. Potentially I can go on and on, just clicking on links that catch a glimpse of my attention. Similar things occur on the BBC website and more dangerously Facebook. I say dangerous as it is interactive, and high tendency to stay on for much longer.
A simple "random walk" like this costs me at least half hour before I even realize I am walking. I will continue walking even after that, as it is so addictive. The feeling to getting a reply with a simple click is just enormous. Ever since English was no longer a barrier, I have been just browsing through pages and pages on the Internet. The amount of information I come across also increased, as I begin to get interested in more and more topics. To cope I begin to skimming through the text faster and faster. It has developed into such a daily routine thing that I think my brain has been wired to just skim through things. It's a daily caffeine dosage that it cannot miss. After receiving training in this area, it seems to have lost its function to stay focused on a single article or topic. Now this is a problem.
I can't seem to focus on a very long article or commentary on the newspaper. I find it very hard to read my lecture handout slowly enough to understand the previous sentence before moving on. In less than 30 minutes into any lecture, my mind will wander away. These are all the signs of restlessness. I cannot foresee this problem going away easily, just like addiction.
Internet has brought the world to the computer screen. Everything is just a click away. However, is it going to make us evolve in the reverse way? Has the brain become too used to accepting answers with a click, that it has slowly lost its function to think and analyze?
As said earlier I'll be talking about being a parent. College and CUMSA parent of course. No matter how you look at it, this is a hugely interesting topic. I'll try to put everything clearly through without mentioning too many names.
I had parents of my own to begin with. CUMSA parents were sources of answer to my queries before I arrived. They also provided great support especially at the start of the term. Still remember the nice good Yongsheng always cooked last year. There were not much family gathering in any sense, and I would primarily attribute it to the dysfunctional family make up.
College families were a bit different. I have a grand total of 5 parents, 1 dad and 4 mums. That's definitely an super-alpha male here. Anyway, they are absolutely amazing people. A good bunch of friends, and are very caring to us. Sometimes I feel sorry for them because we as kids never clicked. One of us was outgoing and had great conversations with them. Another one was cool. Then there was another international student like me. Both of us are very shy to begin with and were by default limited in conversation topics. We tried some form of gathering other than the compulsory first two sessions, but they never worked out great. I still managed to see a great deal of them at Stokes talks, but nothing else interesting happened.
I'm not sure how typical our family was. From talking to other people the some really happening things occur in college families. Some kids seem to get along with their parents really well. There were not enough data to do any serious analysis, but I have to admit I was disappointed. The initial cultural and academic shock have put some irreversible damage to my social interactions. The effects are still reverberating up till now.
Now back to the main point of being a parent. We as the college parents are a group of close friends. Half were from my old CC corridor. And as per norm I have a very big college family, with six parents and five kids. We made sure it is a science only family with only Medic, Natsci, Compsci and Engineers. This was done to prevent possible estrangement in the family, or any split that would occur along the subject line.
We have some of the most amazing kids. They are nice to talk to, and great to mingle with. There are nobody who feel very left out or extremely quiet. First faimly night was great with great conversations. Then there was Much Ado About Nothing. Family formal followed by the Life, which was only the second time I went to clubbing in Cambridge. I have to admit it was rather fun. One of the dad was always busy, but he always provided us with all the outing ideas. The family ended the term in a high when we went to watch The Freshers Pantomine at the ADC. It was a great performance and better still to leave the memory with the family. The kids were so sweat that they bought us wine on that day. But the sad reality is that I'm not the person who can strike a conversation easily, and with the all persistent East-West cultural boundary I'm not very close to any of them. I still feel contented, but will try to do more.
The advantage of a big family is that there is a higher chance to get along with at least one person. The disadvantage is that, it's too big. Yes now i'll talk about the small CUMSA family. I only has one kid, and thus one wife, but at least this time the family had a proper gender ratio. I would have to say that my daughter and her mum are very similiar in many aspects. Both are very outgoing and sociable, and crazy to a certain extent. In fact, the daughter was doing so well in social life that I think she didn't really need a family to help her along. Don't get me wrong, She is very nice person and great to have conversations. But just that didn't "inhereit" much of my genes. The strange thing is that I didn't get to see my CUMSA family that much. Still to have some Singaporeans/Malaysians in college was great.
College family are most active during Michaelmas term. Its function will decay rapidly and approach zero after that. Nonetheless I hope there will be more family gathering, who won't?
Somehow I only managed to pen 9 entries about my life in Cambridge last year. One year of undergraduate studies in an 800-years-old institution surely worth much more than that.
The workload may be a valid excuses. However, there are plenty of periods that I didn't do anything meaningful. Just sitting there mindlessly browsing the net or wandering from kitchen to toilet and my room.
I didn't upload any photos either. Any person reading this must be really bored. The blog probably stayed too true to its name; just writes. I am just too lazy to upload photos that were already uploaded onto facebook.
So much for the diversion. Anyway this year I'm living in an very old room in D staircase. It has sort of 2 parts: one for sleeping and one is sort of a living room (but no sofa). Size-wise I am very satisfied. It also has a slanted roof, and combined with its old age, can more or less give me some inspirations. Facilities wise it was horrible compared to last year. The gym room is small, toilet doesn't have a sink, and the bathroom literally just has one bath tub. For shower I need to go down all the way to the first floor. Good thing that on the staircase there are Daniel and Yongsheng so things are much easier and more convenient in a lot of ways.
On the work front, Monday, Wednesday and Friday are completely packed. After heeding advices from Dr Keeling and Guanghao I had chosen practicals to be on two separate afternoons. This would allow me the weekend to think through the experiments, but at the same time means traveling to Cavendish twice a week. This journey so far has been quite enjoyable in some sense as Pembroke physicists cycle together there. My supervisors are much better than last year. They know their stuff and are quite easy to talk to. However I need to prepare much more than just the supervision work and I have not been doing that.
Will probably leave it now as my eyes are trying too hard to stay open. Will talk about being a "parent" and other happenings.
This has been a hot topic in China for many years. Given its population, total economic power, and rich history, shouldn't at least one Chinese have won the Nobel Prize. Technically there are. Quite a number of ethnic Chinese have won the award, especially in the sciences, but none of them were citizens of the People's Republic of China at the time of award. If we use proportions, 1/5 of the prize should have gone to Chinese. This is clearly not the case as well.
It can be quite an embarrassment to certain people, and some are puzzled. Go to any bookstores in China and you're bound to find books explaining the current situation. Titles such as "we will win the Nobel Prize in a certain number of years sells pretty too. The entire country seems quite obsessed with this. To them, winning Olympic (Olympiad) medals and Nobel prizes are signs of a stronger nation. To me, this is just silly. A country or people's achievement can't be measured using such parameters, not evenly remotely.
Now the irony comes. Liu Xiaobo was awarded the Nobel peace prize! He is a proper Han Chinese (unlike the 14th Dalai Lama) whose citizenship is not disputed. The country should have been immersed in jubilant celebrations marking this historic moment. However, such a heroic achievement to the Chinese people was absent from all news channel in China. People don't hear a thing about this (as was the case with Dalai Lama). This just shows the level of censorship in Mainland. I feel sad for the nation and sad for the people. Clearly the communist party is set to continue its policy on human rights and rule of law. Any attempts to induce changes were met with "you're meddling with my internal affair". The crackdown on such reform-minded people can only increase as it feels more threatened than ever. The change will come someday, one way or another, yet the struggle ahead for Liu and his friends will be long and hard.
May Week! :)
I have never seen a period of havoc like this before. The motto is “Party and alcohol”. Drunkenness is the new cool and sanity is a taboo. Seeing such things going around myself inevitably pulled me towards such craziness.
No I didn’t get drunk, or do anything stupid. The highest point reached is tipsy. I Played croquet for the first time (not while tipsy). This gentlemen sports is not so gentlemen after all, as we are supposed to sabotage each other. Friendship can be really tested here. There are the meetings with fellow Singaporean friends, some of whom I haven’t seen for such a long time due to my self imposed seclusion.
While “abandoned” by many of my friends who went travelling around the UK, I am “stuck” to find things to entertain myself. There are garden parties, sports and just random fun. Each has its own function during different time of the day. The most fun of them is to play bridge with Paraic, Eunice, Andrew and Lizzie. While bridge is not new to me after playing for 4 to 5 years, it is different when the people change. The lack of seriousness and experience makes each game very hilarious. Such activities dominate my May Week time, other than a short trip to Nottingham and Birmingham. The trip is decent but somehow I missed Cambridge during it, the kind of feeling you get when you miss home.
I wonder what is life for? We study hard and then play hard. We drink, we dance. “Some dance to remember, some dance to forget”. What do I do that for? Have I past that age that you can get truly crazy and let go of all the troubles at once. Or is it my inbuilt character? I just can’t do it.
There was a trip to Gardies with Paraic that would make me remember it. The behavior of that girl was truly disgusting. For a free burger she was willing to exchange herself in such a degrading way. While there was some salvage to my impression with Cambridge University on realizing she was a local, I most likely wont go back there again.
Can’t think of a single word to describe this month. So much happened that all other months pale in comparison.
First is the all important Tripos. So overwhelming was it that basically I never stepped out of my room except for toilet and food. I deactivated Facebook. While the intention was to get me focused, other distractions such as games and Youtube proved more potent. The revision went alright nevertheless, until the exam started. Between each paper I didn’t do any revision, thinking that last minute study may make me nervous. The end result was that I forgot some basic information that could have helped me scored much more in Chemistry and Materials. Physics and Maths were not affected much. The result would be out on 25th this month, and I hope for the best. And judging by how the exam went, I will definitely be doing Physics and Maths next year.
Just as a reflection, next year I would definitely not lock myself up like this year. Studying together, at least for a few days a week would be really helpful. And studying in the library, as it would make me focused. My thinking just before the exam was right, but I should have taken the opportunity to rest my brain, instead of listening to music and surfing the Internet.
The end of exam was a a sweet moment. Some friends came to cheering for us in front of the entrance at the last day. Suddenly the realization that there are no more exams or supervision to worry about. The academic life as a fresher has ended.
There were so many people celebrating at that day as most of the NatSci finished on that day. Champagnes were popped everywhere and alcohol was downed like water. Although I disapprove alcohol consumption in general, this was perfectly understandable. Get drunk people, you deserved it!
The glorious weather!
Never seen so many sunny days in a row in Cambridge before! People are taking the opportunity to enjoy the sun on the lawn; be it a book, a friend or by oneself. This is certainly the most cheerful time of the year. Went punting again, and this time but this time the feeling is really different. The weather and people makes all the difference. Will play tennis soon, otherwise it is no justice for the hard work the sun has put in.
These few days are not too great though, with temperature dipping into the regions of 5 degrees Celsius. Nevertheless, still expecting more days with the sun out.
I came back to Cambridge before the volcano ash. A few friends were stuck until term has started. I bet if there’s a survey on what people think of each country right now, Iceland will come bottom of the list. I didn’t accomplish even close to a third of what I planned to study during the holiday. Most of the time was spent watching movies, and talking and sleeping.
Now the pressure came and that’s why I fell sick. Sore throat and cough and sneezing. Luckily this time the cold didn’t bring me down to fever. I think this blog will cease to be updated until late June.
Looking at it, the gap between this post and the last was not much shorter. Where did my April go?
While Spring is something to cheer for, as it battles on with coldness and Winter, there is something else going on worth more of our attention.
By now most should know the ongoing saga between Google and the Chinese government. While Google is the champion of freedom with its “Don’t be evil” slogan, it has attracted criticism for complying with the censorship when entering the China market. Things seem to have turn 180 degrees a few weeks ago when Google threatens to pull out of China. It cited a few cyber attacks on the Gmail account of a few Chinese activities (and such attacks in general) as the reason. It also wants to stop complying with the strict censorship the Chinese government imposes.
Now it has just done that! After talks broke down between the two parties, Google seems to have gone for it. www.google.cn would now be directed to www.google.com.hk where there is uncensored search results. Sensitive topics such as the Tiananmen Massacre and Fa Lung Gong are now available as search results. While I’m not sure if people in China are able to access it like I do, this is what I get
The homepage says “欢迎您来到谷歌搜索在中国的新家” or “Welcome to the new home of Google in China”.
I think this is a historic movement. It shows that there are still individuals and organizations willing to stand up for what is right. While how much effect this has on the freedom of speech in China is yet to be seen, I would like to thank Google for taking such a big step. It is hard not to succumb to political pressure and economic gains, and whatever the true intention of Google, it has my full respect.
However, this should not be a moment of triumph, but just a glimpse of hope. The next thing to follow is almost certainly the complete ban of Google in China. The road to freedom and democracy is far and long.
UPDATE: People in China are unable to view any uncensored search results due to the firewall. This has turned out to be a mere symbolic gesture. No real benefit for the netizens.
Lent term is over. It’s not over for me until after the 2 supervisions tomorrow. I will be packing and leaving this lovely town. It is definitely time to give a short hiatus to this mad pace. The feeling this time is a little bit different. Last term seems to have been forever, with all the excitement of new environment and friends. Then after the Christmas holiday, things just whoosh pass, and now here I am again for another holiday.
Oh well it will definitely not be a normal holiday. There are just so much to study and revise. I was barely afloat at the start of the term, and when the waves started coming in week 4 or 5 I was drowned immediately. Some people find it really easy though. Maybe they don’t find it “easy”, but they can juggle rowing, partying and study at the same time, when one of them would have easily killed me. If you are not smart enough, but pretend to be so by being in a good school, you know what I mean.
Enough said about how hard life is. Just want to give a brief summary the term. I had poorer time management. Did less work, and in the meantime socialized less as well. No idea where the time has gone too. I used to pace my work, so that I do not need to cram too much in one night. For this term, the situation is like this. The deadline is the next day, and I had not even started on a single question yet.
I will stop thinking about all these now and start packing.
当它漫天下起来的时候，你童年的回忆是否也随之涌入，占据了你整个大脑？你是不是想张开双臂，来拥抱大自然的赏赐？这种回忆或激情应该能令不少诗人和作家们为雪写下不朽诗篇。可相比之下，关于雪景的诗句只是聊聊无几。人们似乎更关心春的萌芽，夏的欢乐，或秋的丰收。雪，于寒冷的冬天联系起来，似乎得不到同样的重视。就在当今发达社会，它的降临意味着“机场关闭”，“公路堵塞”，“某某地冻死了几个人”。这些负面报道就算没把“死神”的帽子给它扣上，瘟神是绰绰有余了。
白色代表纯洁。这种品质在世上可谓稀有，人们会用千万两黄金来换取，但大自然却无私的奉献了这么多。它洗涤了空中的浊气，掩盖了一切肮脏，汇入了河流，浇灌了田野。仔细想一想，我们个个都负债累累，但我们拿聪明和智慧来回报了吗？
都说看景不如听景，听雪可是远远不如看雪，再好的描写或照片只不过是盲人摸象。雪自身可成一景。任何不值一提的事物被雪光顾了后，好像是被马良的神笔碰过一样，突然活了起来。打雪仗，堆雪人，这些与雪的互动不乏乐趣。欣赏雪花飘落时的优雅，估计树上、屋顶上的积雪的厚度，这么无聊的事情，都变得那么有魅力。
这次欧洲大陆的雪是我记忆以来最大的一场。漫天漫地，都是苍茫的白，走到哪里都有的嘎吱嘎吱的声音。我突然又这么爱雪，爱它的一切。
瑞雪兆丰年。祝大家新年万事如意。
There's a big Singaporean community in Cambridge. I'm not sure if its such a good thing though. Definitely it provides the feeling of home, and people to talk about topics I'd never be able to carry out with the locals. They are the best friends, to discuss homework, or rely upon when in need. On the contrast, do they in the process of making my life easier, have defeated the whole purpose of an overseas education?
On proposing this question, I am by no means alienating myself from them. This is just a discussion that has been going on in my mind for a long time. Firstly let's lay out the facts. CUMSA is a wonderful organization. Even before stepping foot on the foreign soil, it has made sure that we have made enough friends through meetings in Singapore. This has been especially helpful for a person like me who comes from a not so common school and college (cough cough). The broadened spectrum of friends enabled me to settle down very easily in the first few weeks. There's always a friendly person to approach with questions such as “where is the supermarket?” to “the cheapest Chinese restaurant in town”. The transition most Singaporean has, I believe, is smoother than lots of other international students, who face two obstacles: language and lack of friends.
Even after the initial period, they have never stopped being part my life. Formal swaps, cookout and endless other activities fill my calendar. All these seem wonderful, but don't they in the meantime alienate myself from the real college life? How many times have I taken the initiative to go to the JP to meet strangers? Not many that I can recall. Certainly it has lots to do with my personality, and there's always the cultural difference. But the common mentality is that if I already have a group of wonderful friends, why bother making more, especially other things such as work occupy a great deal of my time already. There's a Chinese saying that goes “if a person wants be extraordinary, he/she has to undergo extraordinary hardship”. (The translation is not great.) While it looks like I have had an easy life so far here, that I am not inclined to take the great leap forward.
I may be taking the argument in a screwed way, with the following analogy. A wartime general or president has led the country through the most difficult times in its history. He battled against all odds to ensure the country survived to see the end of war. His achievement is remarkable and undeniable. Does this necessarily guarantee that he should be the leader for the country after the war? Many historic evidence gives the answer no (or well, it depends).
If ever you think that the Singaporean community is a “shackle” now to my “pursuit of freedom”, you are definitely mistaken. Experience in an overseas life is precious. We shall explore and meet new friends while it is still possible.
Have been in this beautiful city for about a month now. The big surprise is that I have not been to many places here. A half day tour would probably bring to a person more places of interest or UNESCO sites. Doesn’t sound like the perfect holiday plan, but that’s how it is.
It was great to be able to be around parents, especially in this far away land. They are not the terribly exciting people; my lack of activity was in large part due to them. Passively and actively they have been persuading me to put off plans to Paris. Although there was some short trips around Part-Dieu and Universite Claude Bernard Lyon 1, the rest of the city has eluded me. However the home cooked never failed to satisfy my appetite and the after dinner talk was still as good as before.
Not able to speak French is such a inconvenience. I feel really bad that I can’t respond in a proper manner to people’s greeting. There was the problem communicating with the people in the Prefecture or searching the websites. Therefore sometimes I wonder why people choose to travel to places where they can’t understand the language. They will miss so much of the culture.
For me, the main part of my life was playing with my brother. Whether or not this is a fortunate thing is debatable. He is adorable and loves to play with me. By saying “play” I mean it strictly in a 4-year-old definition. Just hopping around or driving imaginary buses around the room. Otherwise it would be wrestling or looking at videos and photos. His boundless energy just never seems to cease. His curiosity never dies away. His playfulness irritates me no matter how calm or reasonable I want to be. As a result, 18 years of age gap cannot prevent us fighting as if we are fighting for toys.
He can surprise me with the most unexpected phrases, or how well he can respond to certain instructions or how good his memory can be at times. Most of the time he is just like a normal kid---easy to fool by small distraction. Seeing him playing in the snow and walking him along river Rhone are fun.
Talking about Rhone, it is a a beautiful river flowing past the centre of Lyon. Around it are the old districts, with buildings and churches with quite some age, although I guess nothing compared to Cambridge. Contrary to terraced house seen in UK, most people live in apartments here, which is something I don’t understand. There’s a also a nice park which in weekends will see a huge crowds with parents accompanying their children to do various activities.
It is also common to see people jogging and there are also lots of public bicycles around. I never figured out the policy behind such bicycles. And it seems time is running out for me to do it.
